Cursed
by brower47
Summary: How do you punish a creature as self possesed and powerful as the Lord of the Western Lands? Make him into what he hates most of all.
1. Chapter 1

**Cursed**

**Chapter One -** **Day One**

Sesshoumaru gave Tokijin a strong swipe through the air, ridding the blade of much of the blood that stained it. It had been quite some time since he'd killed humans. Perhaps Rin had made him soft all those years ago. He quickly pushed the thought of her out of his mind. What was the point of thinking on things in the past, of people who no longer breathed the air of this world? He looked at the still tainted metal of the great sword. He had actually taken the time to cut them down with the physical blade itself rather than the youkai attacks it possessed and still it hummed with the thrill of battle. Even now it sought to posses him as it had its original maker but he was far too strong to be taken in by its call. He was the master here and always would be.

Stepping away from the battle scene, if it could even be called such, in reality it had been a massacre. He noted with macabre displeasure that not one of those mortals even stood a chance against him. In truth, the whole situation had been beneath him. He scoffed at himself. It had been their fault, not his. He had warned them to let him be but they had persisted, taking him for some hanyou or some other lowly youkai. It was not until they attacked that he dispatched each of their lives in the amount of time it took for them to draw one breath...their last as it was.

He resumed his course down the path as he had only minutes before he was inconvenience by the pathetic humans, the incident pushed out of his mind like so much unwanted trash. Patrols were not having the calming effect on him they once did. They had not been enjoyable ever since... He shook his head. Damn her. She simply refused to remain dead. She had just been a human, nothing more. She followed him when she was young and even when she was not so young. When she became elderly and looked to him to be about a millennium old, he still kept her safe, delaying patrols and shortening the ones he went on. Eventually she died, like all humans do. It seemed as though it had only been the bat of an eye and she had been gone.

He stepped gracefully over a fallen log in the path. Damn her. He never should have revived the creature. She had proven herself a bother on more than one occasion yet he had never sent her away, despite his innumerable thoughts to do so. She never took a mate, though he would have allowed it. She stayed as long as she could but had ultimately failed to stay with him forever.

He shook his head again. Still, he was thinking of _her_! What would other youkai think? He didn't care what they might think but he desperately wanted to forget her. If Jaken or Ahun died, he would not be thinking of them now, so why her? She had never done anything spectacular in her lifetime, so why?

He now walked along a quiet stream. Today would be the last day and after this, he would think of her no more. There was simply no reason. It gained him nothing and thus there was no point. Yes, he would think of her no more.

Suddenly he stopped in his tracks. Something was near that he couldn't identify, something...he'd never before experienced.

"How many does that make now?" A strangely feminine yet masculine voice asked him.

He did not answer. He was the Lord of the Western Lands and as such, answered to no one.

"You have always been a silent creature have you not? Cold and silent...just like death."

Again, he said nothing. He slowly grew mildly irritated at this seemingly disembodied voice.

"Why is it that you see the need for such brutality? Not even your sire was as much a killer as you and it can't simply be your namesake, The Killing Perfection. Do you think that's true, that you are the perfect killer?"

Sesshoumaru was now quickly becoming bored with this little game. "Who are you?" He finally asked.

"Why should I answer your questions when you refuse to answer mine? A very spoiled child you are."

The feminine side of the voice took charge of the last statement and Sesshoumaru had the distinct impression that he was being chastised by this unseen creature. He did not answer the newly posed question and waited for an answer to his own.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." The feminine part of the voice continued. "Do you think it is your youkai blood that makes you such a vicious killer or is it your cold heart?"

"I will not ask a second time. Answer my question or I will seek you out and end your bothersome existence." His voice betrayed none of his irritation and delivered the same cold, even tone that it always did.

"You think to threaten me?" The masculine portion of the voice now dominated. There was a sudden gust of wind that tore at Sesshoumaru's clothes and sent his silver hair into a dizzying tornado about him.

Sesshoumaru remained impassive, unimpressed by the theatrical display. As quickly as the zephyr erupted, it ceased.

"Perhaps you have a great deal more to learn about the world young one." There was silence and the silver haired youkai lord again chose to remain impassive about the strange situation in which he now found himself. "Maybe it is a lack of a solid form that unnerves you and renders you silent." There was a balance back in the voice, both masculine and feminine.

Sesshoumaru continued in his stoic manner even as a dim glow settled noiselessly in the trees in front of him. Then there was nothing, no light, no voice, no glow; until finally he saw movement in the vicinity where the illumination had been. The creature that had been speaking with him and asking him questions that it had no business asking, finally stepped into view. The vision of the creature before him was as much a contradiction as the unusual voice had been. The humanoid creature before him was neither feminine nor masculine in appearance, yet it seemed perfectly like both. It appeared both old and young, tall and short. For a moment, Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in an attempt to adjust them to the peculiar sight before him.

"Perhaps now we can speak with one another."

"What are you?" Sesshoumaru asked before the creature had even finished speaking.

"So brazen you are but I will indulge you for the moment. My name is Brota and what I am is something you simply can not understand so there is no real point in trying to explain."

"Why are you here?" He then asked though he was not satisfied with the first answer the creature had given him.

"No, I have answered one of your questions and now you will do me kindness of answering one of mine. Do you believe that you are the perfect killer?"

Silence.

"It would be unwise to continue not answering. This is always so much more... interesting if I am able to speak with you before what will be done, is done." It cocked its head at him. "Now, where were we, oh yes, do you believe that you are the perfect killer?"

Deciding he felt rather magnanimous at the moment, he answered. If he did, perhaps he would find more out about this creature before he killed it. Curiosity had always been strong within him.

"Yes." He answered simply.

"Hmm. Do you think you always will be?"

"Yes."

The creature's face seemed to glow just a little brighter as his second answer.

"Do you? How interesting. You will not be," the creature paused dramatically, taking a step closer, "but that is not important yet. Do you believe that it is important to know how a creature thinks before you kill it?"

"No."

"Such a cocky youkai."

Sesshoumaru felt he had answered more than enough questions at the moment and decided to ask one of his own. "What do you want?"

"To conduct an experiment."

"What kind of experiment?"

"To find out if it is your blood or your heart that makes you such an effective, brutal and ruthless killer."

Sesshoumaru was still unimpressed. He turned to walk away. He'd had quite enough from this cryptic creature and was ready to be away from here and back at his campsite where Jaken and Ahun were patiently waiting for him.

"Leaving already? But you don't even know how the experiment will be conducted yet."

"Leave me be or I will be forced to kill you." He stated as he continued to walk away as though the conversation were beneath him. As far as he was concerned, this encounter was over.

Then the creature did something that no one dared to ever do. It laughed at him. It was a laugh full of mirth and reproach. Sesshoumaru stopped and slowly turned around to face the still taunting creature.

"That's excellent. You kill me. An utterly impossible course you silly dog."

Sesshoumaru was finished here and he was now going to show this foolish creature that it too was done. He drew Tokijin and with the speed that a human could not even register with its weak eyes, he lunged at the embodied voice. To his utter surprise, he passed right through the area that the creature had just occupied, only to find it empty. When he spun around, there it was, as though it'd never even moved, as though it had always occupied the space that it did now.

"You can not kill me and it is silly to even attempt to do so. Do not make a fool out of yourself a second time."

Sesshoumaru did not listen to its command however and lunged a second time, only to be met with the same result as the first attempt.

"You are not listening to me child. Answer me one more question and I will do what I have come here to do and bother you no more."

Deciding that another attack would be futile, he decided to play the decidedly quick creature's little game for the moment.

"Will you always hate humans?"

The unexpectedness of the question caught Sesshoumaru off guard and sent a small ripple through his normally impenetrable facade. He thought of _her_ again. He hadn't hated that particular human but that did not changed his mind about the rest of her kind. Yes, he hated them and had not been given a good enough reason as to why that should change.

"Yes."

"Very well." The tone of its voice sounded very amused though its face remained oddly angelic, androgynous and ageless while betraying nothing. "Since you answered my question, I will hold up my end of the bargain. I have watched you all your life and I am quite disappointed in the way you wield your substantial powers, both physical and political. You are sadistic, cruel, without compassion and I find no redeeming qualities within you that should allow your escape from the punishment that I have devised especially for you."

Sesshoumaru waited. He did not particularly care for the way this encounter was proceeding, despite that, he neither expressed nor felt any fear. There were many quick creatures out there but that didn't mean that he was afraid of what this one would do. His confidence in his ability to protect himself from harm still held strong no matter what harm the creature intended or boasted.

"And what is that?" He asked with a boldness he had always projected and felt.

"You will understand what it means to be weak and perhaps find out what it means to be strong in the process though I doubt you will survive the journey in store for you. You are too stubborn and strong willed. It will likely be your downfall in the end."

"I await you answer." He ignored the cryptic answer, beyond mere annoyance now.

"You will be what you hate most in this world. You will have to survive this transformation for a year and then, if you make it, I will make you back to your old mantle."

"Enough, what do you mean by the foolishness you speak?"

The creature never answered though and for a moment Sesshoumaru began to believe that it simply meant to kill him. Suddenly he could not see, his scent of the world disappeared and it became muted to his ears. The hand that grasped his sword suddenly felt as though he held a burning poker and he felt the pain more acutely than any he ever had before. He threw Tokijin to the ground and spun around where he stood, only to lose his balance and fall ungracefully into a heap of twisted limbs in the freezing cold water. He quickly became aware that he had never felt such cold water before in all his life as he did now in the stream waters of late fall. Unaccustomed to the utter lack of senses, he scrambled out of the water as a crab would and then somehow managed to make his weak hands trip over themselves.

There he stayed for a long while, just trying to regain his breathing that had become difficult to control. After a long while, he slowly began to realize that he was not, in fact, blind, for he could dimly make out the outline of the evening's foliage. The light of the moon just barely illuminated the forest backdrop enough for him to make it out. Looking around quickly, it seemed that the creature had fled. Also, he now knew that he was not deaf because he could easily hear his own breathing with his dulled ears. Sitting up, he winced in pain and brought the aching appendage up to his eyes, just in front of his nose so that he could inspect it. What he saw froze him to the very core. It was not the swelling of the sprained wrist that drew his attention but the absence of his all too deadly claws. What he saw in their place made him think that this was all some sort of dream, or more accurately, some terrible nightmare. Instead of claws, there were flat, blunt, silly looking human nails. Pulling up on the fabric covering his arms, despite the pain the motion caused, he found another disturbing absence. His markings were gone. Finally, he took notice of the hair that fell around him in an obnoxious mess. It was not the fine silver that had adorned his head all through life, but raven black that blended well into the inky darkness that was now his vision.

He was human.

(11/12 edit)


	2. Day Two

**Chapter Two – Day Two**

He didn't move from that spot all night. He simply stayed there and tried to figure out what he should do next. This was most definitely the worst situation in which he had ever found himself. He could not return to his western home, such a course of action would prove fatal. In fact, many of the options he'd rolled around in his mind would prove to end in the same fashion. That was most likely what the creature had planned all along. If any of his enemies found out of his current condition, they would cut him down without a second thought. There were many that would be more than happy to rid the world of the Lord of the Western Lands. He stared over at Tokijin. He couldn't go near the blade let alone pick it up. The body that he now detestfully called his own was simply too weak to take on the powerful force behind the blade.

Finally he stood. There was only one thing he could do.

Leave the Western Lands for the year, lay low and survive until the creature kept to its end of the bargain and gave his youkai form back to him. Even if it could not be trusted to keep its word, he had no other choice. He was as weak as the humans he had dispatched just the day before and though he hated to admit it, any youkai of any strength, even lower youkai, could easily dispatch him as he was. He had no weapon, no place safe to go and he had absolutely no idea how to live as a human. Already, he was feeling the tell tale signs of hunger, something he shouldn't have experienced for at least another week were he himself.

Humans were pathetic and having the body of one only confirmed that long held belief. He needed to change out of these cloths as well. His attire was too well known and could only get him killed. The only human cloths that he knew he would have access to were the ones of those he had killed the night before. So, feeling the effects of both hunger and exhaustion, he picked himself up and headed back in the direction he had come from the night before, leaving Tokijin just laying as it were. He was thankful at least, that Tensaiga was with his traveling companions. So he headed out as there was nothing more he could do in this place.

The return walk seemed to take far longer than he originally expected. Despite his greatly decreased sense of smell, it was the stench that first alerted him that he was close to his goal. As quietly as his human legs would carry him, he peered into the clearing of the previous night's massacre. There were crows and a few other small scavengers taking advantage of the feast he'd provided, nothing that would pose a threat to him so he quietly moved into the clearing and searched over the bodies. The smell was overpowering and at one point, it became so overwhelming that his stomach became rebellious. He threw up bile onto the ground and cursed the strange creature that had done this to him to a life of torment and pain for the thousandth time.

It was sick business, sifting through bodies, trying to find something that he could wear. After some time and about thirty bodies, he finally came across enough still intact cloths to fully cover himself. The cloths themselves stunk and not because they had been resting against dead flesh. The men had obviously not found bathing to be a priority in their lives and now he would be forced to wear their cloths. He took a sword of barely passable quality from one of them, as he was determined to have some sort of protection even if it were only a human blade. He stole himself back into the forest and to the first stream he could find.

Luckily, being turned human had done nothing to his memory. He was still in his ancestral territory and he knew the lay of the land better than anyone. It was unfortunate that he would have to leave it. Once he arrived at the stream, he set to cleaning as much of the stench out of his stolen cloths as possible and then proceeded to bury the fine red and while silks of his birthright. It would be better if no one knew what happened to him. After all, it was not uncommon for him to leave unexpectedly and unannounced. He did this on occasion to test the loyalty of those that served him. They knew exactly how his lands were to be run and should be able to do so even in his absence. It would ensure that when the year's time had passed, his lands would still be his and a war would not have to be started in order to regain them.

He shook his head. Never in a million lifetimes would he have thought that this would be the contingency that particular exercise would be used for. After the cloths had dried enough to his liking but without taking up too much time, he redressed and headed south. It would be better to relocate to a warmer region as he would have to spend an entire winter in this fragile body. As he hiked along, he began to formulate exactly how he was going to feed himself for the next year but more importantly and more pressing, how he was going to feed himself within the next day. He knew humans could go for a week or more without food but that they steadily became weaker and weaker as each day without sustenance passed until they could barely stand. He needed food and he needed food that humans could eat and the sooner the better.

Sesshoumaru continued on like this for the better part of the day but was no closer to finding a solution to his problem than he had been that morning. Instead, his hunger had only increased and he actually found it to be mildly painful. He was sure that it didn't help that in his youkai form, he had not eaten in several weeks. By the time the sun was setting, he decided to find as sheltered a location as possible. That turned out to be the collapsed side of a hill with an overhang of brambles and vines that would hopefully conceal his location from those that would intend him harm. There he drew his knees up to his chest and succumbed to the exhaustion that rapidly overtook his body.

Sesshoumaru awoke to the sounds of scuffling outside the screen of his vegetative wall. He remained stock-still and drew in a quiet sniff through his nose and was disappointed that he could not identify what it was by smell. The only thing he registered was the faint smell of earth, most likely the bit he was sitting in. If he moved out of his hiding place, he wasn't even sure if he would even be able to see the creature. It was near pitch black where he sat and wasn't sure how much better it would be outside of it. And here was where he found his quandary. If he stayed, he may be safely hidden enough to not be detected but if the animal or youkai had any sense of smell and was predatory in the least, then if he stayed, he would be trapped and an easy target.

Gripping the hilt of his stolen sword, he quietly stood and attempted to peer out of his chosen sleeping place for the evening. Even to his weak eyes, he saw what was out there and what he saw, he cursed. Could his luck be any worse? There, not ten paces away, was an incredibly large boar youkai. In his youkai form, the beast would have posed no problem. It would have run from him or been easily dispatched if the creature had been particularly stupid and chosen to attack. But now...he wasn't sure. He didn't know what strength he possessed as a human and, if how tired he was after just one day of travel was any indication, it wouldn't be enough. He knew that boar youkai were not fierce predators but one of this size must have developed a penchant for meat in order to grow so large.

He remained still, hoping that the creature would just slowly move on and not notice the easy prey just behind the bramble. Sesshoumaru watched as the creature slowly rooted up parts of the ground as it slowly plodded along. Its large body heaved with each inhale of his massive lungs and its sharp hooves dug into the ground with each step as the earth was unable to support the weight of the beast. Its tail lazily whipped back and forth in a seemingly bored fashion. Its massive head, with its slimy nose swung form side to side, sniffing and rooting around. The long tusks that nearly crossed over in front of the beast's nose were a testament to the age of this large youkai. This one would not have attacked him; it was too old and wise to have done that when he had been youkai. But it was also so old because it was clever enough to not miss easy meals when they were presented and that's exactly what it was thinking when it smelled a lone human.

Sesshoumaru knew his secret was out when the tail stopped twitching and the great head ceased it roving sweeps of the ground in front of it. So as to not be trapped in the confines of the hollow, he sprang out of his hiding place and not a moment too soon either, the moment he dashed out, that huge head with its threatening curve tusks crashed through the vines. Knowing that he couldn't outrun the beast as he was and gripping the hilt, he dove at the beast plunging the blade as far into its great mass as he possibly could.

The mighty boar let out an angry squeal of pain and whipped around, crashing the side of its body against Sesshoumaru's human form. The force of the blow knocked him a full forty paces away from the now enraged creature. The force of the impact and resulting fall tore the air out of his lungs and left him gasping for breath but he didn't have time to fully recover. No sooner had he stood that he was forced to dive off to the side as the beast rushed him with the full intent of goring this human into the ground. It would take pleasure in it as a vengeance for the still burning in its side that it knew was caused by the tiny mortal.

Sesshoumaru scrambled to his feet a second time and took off running into the forest. There was nothing else he could do. He didn't have another weapon and staying was suicidal even though his attempt at running would prove just as useless. He heard and felt the creature crashing through the forest behind him. He tried to dart back and forth through the massive tree trunks but failed to outrun or outsmart his pursuer. A sudden pain ran through his body, the likes of which he'd never before known. It emanated from his leg but he didn't have time to think on it anymore as he was sent crashing off to the side having been thrown there by the swinging head of the boar youkai. Sesshoumaru stood again but quickly found that he could not support his weight on one of his legs and crashed back to the ground. He knew the boar was making a return pass and that would be the end of the great and powerful Lord Sesshoumaru.

With renewed determination, he pulled himself up and hobbled as far as he could and was surprised to find himself suddenly at the edge of the forest. Up ahead he saw a rise in the hill. It was a place he knew well enough and he knew that on the other side of that particularly unimpressive incline was a sudden drop off. If he could get there before the beast, perhaps he could survive this after all.

He heard the boar once again, and it was approaching fast. As quickly as his injured body could carry him, he threw himself up the hill. He felt the ground shaking with the impact of the beast's weight. He was very nearly there and with the last of his strength, he flung himself onto the crest of the hill. As he'd hoped, the boar was still going at full speed, enraged that a mere human had harmed it. When it saw what was on the other side of the hill, it was too late. It was going over. This wise old youkai was going to die because some meal had outwitted him. Well, if he was going to die, he was going to take the human with him. In a move that was only meant to pull him down with him, the boar swung its head to the side and tried to sweep the human up with his tusks. He was successful but only partly.

Sesshoumaru once again felt pain course through his body and the last thing he knew, he was flying through the air as unconsciousness overtook him.


	3. Day Twenty Nine

**Chapter Three – Day Twenty Nine**

His whole body hurt. Why did his whole body hurt? He didn't want to open his eyes. Every other part of him hurt, why should opening his eyes be any different? He felt a wet cloth pressed to his head. That didn't hurt. In fact, it felt rather nice. Should he chance opening his eyes to see who had put it there? He thought on it for a moment and finally came to a decision.

It was a woman. She had long dark hair, large dark eyes and an expression that looked as though she were pleased for some reason.

"So, you've finally decided to wake up. For a while I thought you'd sleep through the entire winter."

Was it winter? He asked himself.

When he didn't respond to her right away, she continued on for him.

"I'm Takana." She said. "I found you at the bottom of a ravine next to a dead boar youkai. How you survived a fall like that, I can only guess. Someone must be looking out for you." She removed the cloth from his head and replaced it with another.

"How did I get here?" He finally found the voice to ask. It hurt to talk and it came out raspy with a little cough at the end.

"I dragged you here. That was one of the longest treks of my life and I didn't get any gathering done that day."

"What happened?" He managed to ask.

"I'm not sure really." She got up and walked to where he couldn't see her. When he tried to move his head to follow her movement, he groaned. "Stop moving. I didn't spend all this time trying to get you to wake up for you to die on me now." She was only out of his vision for a moment longer when she reappeared with a simple bowl of hollowed out wood filled with steaming broth. "You should eat something. That leg of yours will never heal right if you don't get something more into your stomach." She spooned some up and blew on it. "This should be much easier with you awake and now you can eat something solid too. All you've been getting is meat broth and that can't be the best thing for you."

She tasted it, found it satisfactory and placed it at his lips. Reflexively, he opened his mouth and took the offered food. It felt good on his throat and flavor was pleasant as well.

"I think you had a run-in with that youkai." She continued, not missing a beat as she spooned out some more, blew on it and again fed it to him. "I was hoping you could fill me in on the rest, I'm sure it has to be a fairly exciting story."

His brow furrowed together. What had happened? He tried to think about it but every time he did, he drew a complete blank. A boar youkai, she'd said. He tried again and again, there was nothing. He couldn't remember.

"I...don't know."

She gave him a look that seemed as though she expected that answer. "You mean you can't remember?"

"I don't remember anything about a boar." He said simply, growing a little anxious that he couldn't. Then he got another mouthful of broth.

"Well that's ok." Though she sounded a little doubtful herself. "What is the last thing you do remember?"

He thought about it. Suddenly he got a lot more anxious. He couldn't remember anything except... a little girl? No that couldn't be all he remembered and what made it worse was that he couldn't even remember anything about that little girl either except that she smiled a lot.

"I..." He stumbled. The look on his face must have matched exactly how he felt because she suddenly put the bowl down and touched his cheek.

"Shhh, it's ok. You just woke up from about three weeks of sleeping, you had a really big gash to your head and you have a broken arm and leg. You just need more rest is all and then everything will be just fine."

She looked so sincere and so kind. He couldn't help but believe what she said was true. It calmed him down immediately and was surprised at how sleepy he suddenly was as well. He felt the cloth lifted from his head once more and replaced by another as he drifted off to the warm embrace of sleep.

Takana watched as her patient fell asleep once more. It had been like this for the past few days. Each time he woke up, he wouldn't remember anything, including her. It had been difficult the first couple of times but she was slowly getting used to it. Now though, she was starting to worry that it wasn't going to be a temporary thing. She'd seen it once before when she was a little girl. There had been a soldier that her father had been treating that never did remember but that case was a little different. For one, he had not been in his coma for nearly as long as this one and he remembered everything that had happened before the battle, just never anything that happened each day after it. Everyday for him was like the day before that fateful skirmish. One day, he became so distraught with what had happened to him after he realized that the battle had taken place more than three years prior, that he took his own life.

Takana shook her head. She hoped that this was not the same as that case. She had managed to calm him down much faster than before; maybe he was starting to remember her just not consciously. She sighed, checked all his bandages and after she was satisfied that they would be fine for the night, slipped into her own futon and drifted off to sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow would be a better day.

The light penetrated his eyes and slowly he opened them. He saw her kneeling by the fire, cooking something that smelled delicious. He had no idea what it was but he knew he wanted to eat it.

"Takana." He said and didn't go any further. He really didn't know what else to say and the reaction of the woman was enough to quiet whatever he could have said next anyway.

Takana was by his side in a second. "What did you say?" She asked immediately and in all seriousness.

He was taken aback. She wasn't as calm as she had been last night when he'd woken. Now she looked as though there was something she desperately needed to know and he was the only one that could tell her. He still couldn't remember anything but her name so whatever it was she wanted to hear was going to be disappointing and he hated the idea of disappointing her for some reason.

"Takana." He told her. He watched as her face lit up.

"Oh thank the gods." She looked so relieved and he really didn't understand why. "I was really starting to get bored with the same old conversation time after time."

He was completely confused now. At least he hadn't seemed to disappoint her.

"Do you remember anything else besides my name?" She looked expectantly at him.

He sighed, tried and then replied, "No."

She gave him a half smile. "That's ok, at least you remembered one thing this time."

"This time?" He needed to know what was going on.

"That's right," she said as she headed back to the fire. "Last night was not the first time you woke up. But this is the first time that you remembered it the next time you opened your eyes."

He wasn't pleased with that answer.

"How many times did I do that?" He tried to sit up and his body promptly refused the order.

"Please don't try to move just yet. Your injuries were severe. I didn't think you were going to survive at first but you seem to be a fighter."

Of course he was. He suddenly thought pompously to himself. As though her words were ridiculous when it came to him, he frowned at that. Why would he think that? He was taken out of his thoughts when she answered his question.

"Six times and seven seems to be your lucky number." She returned with whatever had been cooking over the fire. It smelled so good; he could feel his mouth begin to water with anticipation. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes." He blurted out with a little less dignity that he would have liked.

"I was hoping you'd say it like that. You must be healing up if you're getting a good appetite in you." She grabbed some rice and meat with her chopsticks and fed the food to him. To her delight, he ate the whole bowl and part of a second before he was too full to eat anymore.

"Well then," she said as she set the bowl down, "what are we going to call you?"

The question took him by surprise. She should call him by his name but...what was it. He furrowed his brow and tried to think of it. By the gods, he should at least be able to remember that. What hope did he have of remembering anything else if he couldn't even remember his own name?

"Can't remember it, can you?"

He shook his head at her correct appraisal of the situation.

"Well, let's just give you a temporary one for a while ok?" When he nodded his head in the affirmative, not really caring one way or the other at the moment, she continued. "What would be good for you? Hmmm, how about Naoto?"

He shook his head; he didn't like that one.

"Ok, how about... Emori?" She had known a young boy by that name back when she lived in her village with her father but again, her patient shook his head. "You're a tough one to please. How about...my younger brother's name, Shin?"

He thought on that one for a bit. Why not, it wasn't as though he should have an affinity for any of those names and there was not point in taking up her entire morning going through a long list of them. He nodded his approval and she looked genuinely please by it.

"Good, Shin it is. I always liked my little brother. It will be nice to say the name again, even if it is for a different person."


	4. Day Forty Three

**Chapter Four – Day Forty Three**

Shin's condition continued to improve under the expert care of a very capable Takana. Two weeks after waking up and remembering subsequent events after waking, the swelling on his head had completely corrected itself, the various bruises covering his body were little more than slightly discolored patches of yellow, though they still covered nearly his entire body, but the important thing was that they no longer pained him. His right arm and left leg were still kept in splints and Tanaka had told him that they would remain there until she was sure that the bones had healed properly and strongly. That meant another three or four weeks of wearing the annoying contraptions. The various gashes of different severities were also healing nicely. Only two still required Takana's attentions though they no longer required her to bandage them, just apply a daily salve to the healing flesh. He was so much improved in fact, that Takana had recently allowed him to begin taking small walks around the hut as long as he promised her that he would use the crutch she had made for him and only put a little of his weight on his injured leg. The only thing about his condition that hadn't improved however was the simple fact that he could remember nothing about his life before coming to be in her care except flitting images a little girl. Not even his name. All he knew was that he had been severely injured and would not have survived if it had not been for the generosity, kindness and obvious skill of this one woman.

He continued to go by the name Shin though he knew it was not his. He spent hours each day just staring at one place in the wall, willing himself to remember something, anything about his former life. His inability to recall even obvious details weighed heavily on the healing man and each day that passed brought him nothing but a little more anxiety. He feared never being able to remember, living as though the first days of his life were the pain filled days of his early recovery.

"Moping about all day long isn't going to help you remember anything Shin." Tanaka spoke up from the doorway.

Shin spun his vision in the direction of her voice, annoyed again that she was able to sneak up on him like that without even trying. It was a strange feeling he got from time to time, whenever she startled him, that he should have known of her approach long before she came anywhere near him. How he thought he was supposed to know that, he had no idea but it was a definite feeling.

He grunted non-committaly. It wasn't her place to tell him such things, he thought to himself. There it was again. Why would he think that? She was only trying to help but he was always thinking about her like that, as though she were beneath him somehow. He kept those thoughts to himself. He had no desire to incur her wrath about such matters today. He had made that mistake once before and though she hadn't yelled at him when he'd once reflexively told her to know her place after she chastised him for not eating all of his meal, she definitely lost a little of that bedside manner while changing his bandages and dressings. He was well aware that she hadn't needed to move his arm quite that roughly in order to get her work done. He was now careful about the impulses he sometimes had about her station, what he wanted and telling her that she talked too much. None of those things helped him in any way and it only served to raise her ire at him.

She never did stay mad for very long though. She recovered far more quickly that he did and sometimes he hated her for it. What did she have to be so happy about anyway. He rolled his eyes at her and she must have seen it.

"In another foul mood today I see." It didn't put a damper on her mood in the least. She'd grown rather used to it and didn't pay it a bit of attention. "You'd never know that it was supposed to be winter out there. The weather is so beautiful." She changed the subject as she walked over to him and handed him his crutch.

He raised an eyebrow at it. She had already changed the bedding on his futon, so why did she want him to get up yet again.

"Come on Moppy, we're going to get you some fresh air. No reason in wasting such a fine day." She waited for him to rise and he did so with about as much excitement as a dying turtle. "It will do you good and you'll be thanking me once winter really sets in." She made sure he was correctly situated in the aid and then moved to his other side to assist him if needed. She knew he wouldn't. She knew he really didn't like being helped or pampered. It was one of his good qualities. In fact, it was the only good quality she could think of at the moment. She couldn't think of a more pompous patient she'd ever had.

With that, they walked out of the hut and into the crisp midmorning air. The sun shone brightly down on them and Shin looked around the area for the first time though he couldn't help but feel that it was familiar to him in some way.

"This area really gets a lot of snow since we're a little higher up on the mountain than most."

"I know." He stated reflexively in a rather bored tone.

They both stopped and their heads turned respectively to look at one another. Both were astonished at his simple declaration.

"You..." She started to say.

"No." He answered immediately.

"That's strange. Before I found you at the bottom of the ravine, I'd never seen you around before. Also, no one I've spoken to about you knows who you are either and no one has reported anyone in their family missing since I found you."

Shin just nodded his head. His response had shaken him. How did he know that it snowed a lot in this area? But deep down, he knew it was right. Somehow, he knew that it snowed thickly in this area in the dead of winter.

They started walking again. They were now a small distance from the hut but Shin was surprised at how tired he was quickly becoming. They continued to walk in silence but he was sure Takana was aware of his fatigue.

"Why don't you sit down here?" She indicated a spot beneath an old, majestic maple that had lost its leaves some time ago.

He agreed with another nod of his head, so they headed in that direction. After she helped him sit down, she left him to go back to the hut for something. He rested his back against the trunk of the tree and found the position he was now in somewhat comforting. His injured leg stretched out straight ahead of him while the other, he bent at the knee and rested his injured arm on. Though he hated to admit it, she was right, the outside air did feel good and he was glad for the change of scenery from something other than the walls of her little hut. He took his good hand and ran it through his hair that fell just above his shoulders. When his fingers traveled the length of it and out, he had the distinct feeling that his hair should have been longer.

Takana was arriving back just as he had this thought. "Did you cut my hair?" The woman stopped next to him and looked down at him.

"Do you remember having longer hair?" She asked back.

He looked off into the distance, another frown marring his handsome face. "No...not really, I just have this feeling that it should be longer than it is."

She gave him a lopsided smile. She'd hoped that he'd remembered something specific but at least this was something, like the snow comment before it. It was something.

"Yes, it was longer, quite a bit longer in fact." He looked back at her. "I think it actually fell to about your calves."

"You think?" He asked in a mildly irritated tone. She paid it no heed.

"Well, before I found you, I think something else found you first. I think some animal must have thought it would make perfect bedding or something because it was all kinds of different lengths when I found you. The only really long parts were the ones you were lying on. Other than that, it had been gnawed off. I cut it all to the shortest length, the length it is now."

He looked away from her now. He wasn't sure why, but he was disappointed that his hair wasn't longer.

"I'd never seen such long hair and you have a lot of it." She was no longer just talking to him. She had brought back one of her packs. He knew what it was. He'd seen her use it in the hut before and he'd seen several examples of her workmanship. Though he didn't tell her, he was actually impressed by her skills. Not only was she a skilled healer but her ability to carve was also quite advanced.

"I was actually jealous; my hair would never get that long and I don't have as much as you either." It was a simple comment and one that didn't require a response from him so he said and did nothing.

He again looked off into the distance. It felt right to do so. He squinted, wishing he could see farther. After a long while of silence, he looked back at her while she worked. It was the first time he'd ever seen her in the light of day and not the dark confines of the hut. Despite not remembering any others, he knew that she was a rather average looking woman. She was of a medium build though he was positive she was stronger than the average. After all, she had managed to drag his limp form back to the hut and get him in a futon all by herself.

"Why do you live alone?" He asked spontaneously. He saw her tense and he raised an eyebrow at the reaction. Just as quickly as it came, it passed but she didn't look away from her current project when she answered. That too was unusual. She always looked directly at him when she addressed him and though it had always mildly annoyed him, it now fascinated him. Why did this question bother her so much?

"I like living alone." She said in a quiet tone.

She was lying! He wasn't sure how he knew but she was and that fact piqued his interest even further. Ever since he had woken up in her hut, she had been nothing but sincere and honest with him but now...

"You are lying."

Her eyes shot up to his. She actually looked a little panicked and Shin took pleasure in the effect he was having on her now. It was the first time he'd seen her off balance. So she wasn't as confident as she portrayed herself to be. He let a smirk show.

"What? What do you mean?" She back peddled.

"I mean exactly what I said." He disliked repeating his words; he knew that much about himself. "You just lied to me. So let's try again, why do you live alone?" She had made him feel weak countless times and though he knew she didn't do it on purpose or with any malicious intent, he wasn't going to miss this opportunity to exact a little revenge for it anyway.

She looked away from him and sighed. She already looked defeated and he was disappointed that it had been so easy to accomplish.

"You really want to know?" She asked, her face still turned away from him.

When he nodded, he realized his folly and quickly spoke up. "I would not have asked if I didn't."

He heard her let off one laugh. It was not joyful in the least like it had been when she found out just how much he liked her baked apples, no this one was hollow and sad.

"I was forced out of my village by my father." There was a long silence until she drew in a deep breath. "I was raped while gathering herbs to restock our stores, by a youkai, the kind that looks mostly like a human." She drew in another sharp breath and set her tools down. "I didn't tell anyone and just prayed that I would never have to. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible." She now turned to look at him. Tears were streaming down her face. She stood and faced away from him again.

His desire for a little bit of revenge suddenly evaporated and for the first time, he felt far lower than he ever thought of her. She had done nothing but nurse him back to health and this is how he repaid her. He wanted to get up and get away from the situation he had callously caused but he could not. He wasn't well enough to get up on his own and would depend on her help for doing so. He was pulled out of his self deprecating thoughts by the continuation of her painful story that he truly had no right to know.

"I conceived... and it didn't take long for my father to see what was happening to me. He was the village's healer, I was his apprentice. He demanded to know who the father was and when I finally did tell him, he drew away from me like I was something disgusting. He threw me out of the village that day and told me to never come back or he'd tell everyone. If he did that, some of them might actually try and kill me for it." Her voice was now nothing but a whisper.

He stared at her back and couldn't help the next statement that was out of his mouth before he knew he'd said it. "I don't see a child."

"That's because there isn't one. I lost it." She took another deep breath and he knew she was crying. "I don't know if it was the stress or if something wasn't right but I had a miscarriage a few weeks later. I almost bled to death, sometimes I wish I had."

This wasn't the same woman who had been helping him all this time. He never would have guessed her saying something like that and it pained him to think that he was the cause of her pain at the moment.

"I found this place and have lived here ever since. That was almost four years ago."

Four years! How old was she when she was thrown out. She didn't look much older than twenty. He now officially hated himself but he said nothing.

"At least I know how to make medicines and can do a bit of carving. Anything I can't grow or catch myself, I can trade for. It's not that bad really." With that she walked off. He didn't blame her in the least. He knew she wouldn't go very far, the caregiver in her was too strong to leave someone that was helpless, alone.

He shook his head. That was not what he had intended to do. He hadn't expected anything _that_ revealing and he was surprised that she had told him. He had no right to know and just because he had pressed her, didn't mean that she had to tell him. He now wished she hadn't and saved him the embarrassment but maybe that's why she did it. Maybe she wanted him to know what an ungrateful bastard he'd been ever since he'd woken up.

He wouldn't blame her if that was what she was up to but he doubted it. She just needed some time to herself since the pain of it was obviously still very much alive and well even though she hid it amazingly well.

He decided at that moment to resolve to be more civil with her in the future in light of all she had done for him. There was no real reason for his behavior and he now felt like the heal of the earth for having acted so poorly. Besides, acting like an ass as was his natural impulse to do, was doing nothing to help him remember anything about himself anyway. Perhaps going against his first inclination would work better in the end.


	5. Day Seventy Six

**Chapter Five - Day Seventy Six**

Shin watched as Tanaka grabbed a large leather sack that she used to carry loads of wood on her back. The storm that had blanketed them with several feet of impassable snow had melted off just enough for light, nearby traveling. He'd noticed the way she started to pace about in anticipation of getting out of the confining little hut, that while comfortable for one, was just too cramped for two for long periods of time.

"Where are you going?"

Her head turned to him for a moment before refocusing on her work. "I need to gather more wood before the next storm hits or we'll both be in trouble."

"I'll go with you." She turned her head to him again and nodded.

It was the way he did things. She knew that he simply wanted to help her but it's never the way he made it sound. He was such a puzzle, this man. He still had no idea who he was now or before. He was well spoken and moved, even with the crutch, like a very self possessed man. She doubted that he had ever been a farmer or any occupation to the like. She wouldn't have been surprised in the least if one day he remembered that he was the emperor himself. She donned her cloak and watched as he made his way to the one she had fashioned for him. It was the same as hers but was fit to match his larger build.

Ever since that beautiful, though uncomfortable, fall day, he had been kinder to her in his own way. He didn't ask if he could help with chores but anticipated them and as such did them before she had a chance to. If she tried to thank him, he would wave her off in his strange stoic way and simply say that he was tired of not seeing it done or that it needed to be done better. She supposed that he had been uncomfortable with her answer to his question that afternoon. To this day, she wasn't sure why she told him. She had never told anyone in four years, why then a complete stranger? She still didn't have an answer for that one.

When she saw that he was ready to go, she headed out the door. She had stopped trying to help him do things after he demonstrated once that he no longer required her assistance. He didn't want her help, he was too proud. She respected his wishes and life proceeded on as it had. He no longer required a brace or splint on his leg but it was evident that it still pained him to put all his weight on it; hence he still used the crutch.

One day she saw him refuse to use it any longer and he hobbled around for several hours without. She could see the sweat on his brow and the way his teeth unconsciously clenched together with each step.

"You should still be using the crutch." She had stated simply.

"It is none of your concern." He stated just as simply.

She rolled her eyes, walked back into the hut and back out carrying with her the crutch he had refused to use any longer.

"I told you woman, I do not need it." He saw her raise an eyebrow at him, in mock of how he responded to conversation of hers he found ridiculous.

"Ok, perhaps you don't need to use it now but when the bone heals poorly and you are forced to go with a limp for the rest of your life, don't come complaining to me about not being a good enough healer." She said pushing the crutch into his arms. "Oh, and when your other leg starts to pain you because of all the undue stress you're putting on it trying to heal faster than your body will allow, don't come crying to me." She turned around in a huff that begged no argument.

At first, he'd been furious with the woman for treating him as she did but after taking a moment to collect his thoughts, he decided that for the moment, he would let her win. If only because he wanted to keep the peace with the long winter looming ahead of them. He had no desire to put up with her ire in a tiny hut where he had no chance of reprieve.

He let her win. Or so it was that he told his ego as he positioned the crutch under his arm and began to use it again.

"And how far do you plan on taking us today?" He asked in one of his rare shows of desire to start a conversation.

She smirked as she slowed her pace so he could catch up and the two of them could travel abreast. He had become quite proficient with the crutch and caught up easily.

"To the same place we went last time, just over the ridge." Well, it wasn't much of a conversation but more than three words in a row out of his mouth qualified as one for her.

"What about your teak? You are getting low."

He never ceased to amaze her. He acted so bored about everything she did but paid close enough attention to her that he knew when her stock of carving wood was running low. She didn't comment on it however as he would simply deny it and come up with some excuse as how he would know such a thing that would ultimately attempt to make her seem inferior to him in some way. It was comical actually and she didn't dare let on about the way she thought on the matter because she was positive he would never speak to her again.

"If the weather looks like it's going to hold, I could grab some of that as well." She answered evenly enough even though she wanted to laugh at her internal musings.

"I will collect the firewood; you go on for the other." His statements of offered help were always done so in an order like fashion.

She nodded her head and smiled.

He noticed.

"Why do you smile? I did not say anything amusing." He was only slightly perturbed. He secretly enjoyed it when she smiled. It made her common features light up and made her rather nice to look at.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, I just..."

"Just what?" He was mildly intrigued.

"Do you think that maybe you were a military officer of some sort?"

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Why would you wonder that?"

"You're just such a natural at giving orders; I assumed you might have been a general or something." Thought her answer was given plainly enough, the mirth in her voice and the sparkle in her eyes as she said it betrayed her comical view of the situation.

"You think I am issuing orders?" He decided to play along with the harmless banter. Getting out in the fresh air was having as positive an effect on him as it was on her.

"You don't?" She answered his question with a question.

"No." He answered plainly and purposely, offering no further explanation and bating her to continue.

"Then what would you call it?" She said as she stepped in front of him and began walking backwards so this conversation could continue face to face.

"I call it offering some sense to a sometimes senseless woman."

Takana walked backward with her mouth agape. It wasn't exactly what he'd said that left her in the shocked state she now found herself in but the fact that he had just teased her. She was speechless.

Shin openly smirked at her inability to deliver a witty comeback. She had not expected his response. Since he was on a role, he decided to go further.

"Finally, the woman that never stops speaking, is silent."

This time she stopped in her tracks and he nearly collided with her.

"Why you...I should..." But again, she had nothing.

"The silence continues." He said in a very restrained playful mocking. "It seems all one needs to do to quiet your tongue is find one's own instead." With that he stepped around the still stunned and now flushed woman and continued up the path.

Takana just stood there for a moment in an attempt to collect herself. Suddenly she snapped back to herself.

"It's true." She said as she caught up to her gimpy companion. She left it at that, hoping he would fall into the same trap she had moments ago.

Shin bit, he was actually enjoying himself. "What is?"

"That you've found your tongue. It's unfortunate though."

He smirked, she was fishing now but he allowed himself to be reeled in anyway. "And why do you find that unfortunate?"

She pounced on the opportunity as he knew she would. "Because now I'll never get anything done with that voice of yours always putting me to sleep."

"There is nothing wrong with my voice." He defended.

"I didn't say that there was." She agreed.

He looked over at her to find her smiling and looking ahead as though she had won the game. Then it struck him. She had played the game perfectly after all. His shots had been true to _his_ form, placing her somehow beneath him while hers had continued on in the placating form she had adopted while around him. She was simply but cleverly pointing out that she placated him as a mother placates a pompous child. Sometimes conceding a point you disagree with, gets your opponent to shut up and thus getting what you set out to do in the first place. She effectively made fun of him without saying a single cruel word. She was exceedingly cleaver.

He smiled. It was well played.

They traveled in companionable silence after that until they reached the wooded area she had been collecting the firewood for the hut's pit that served as both a hearth for cooking as well as the main source of heat for the winter. He took her larger pack from her. She nodded and moved off to gather her wood for carving. He spent several moments picking up fallen pieces that had been cut up by her earlier in the year. He was glad that he was finally healing. The first time he'd done this had been exceedingly difficult and a bit painful. Now he completed the chore with relative confidence that pain would not follow each of his movements. After several moments, he heard something that made his blood run cold.

Her scream.

He dropped that satchel and hobbled as quickly as he could up the path. She screamed again. He didn't think as he willed his still healing body to move faster. He only reacted, despite having no blade to defend her or himself with if a youkai or some other beast were attacking her. When he crested the hill, his blood boiled. There was Takana with two other men. One held her arms immobile as he stood behind her back, leaving her front completely at the mercy of the other man standing in front of her. The one in front was groping her through her clothing and running his filthy mouth over her neck.

Shin heard the man say to her, "So, you'll bed down with youkai but not hard working mortal men? Maybe you should find out how a real man feels."

"Release her!" Shin bellowed as he neared them.

His presence obviously startled to two youths that could not have been more than seventeen or eighteen years old. The one in front of her, spun around while his comrade continued to hold onto Takana. The moment the first saw Shin limping towards them, his stance returned to that of the confidence he had held before the intruder arrived.

"We found her first; you'll have to wait your turn gimp." He started to turn back to the struggling woman when Shin spoke again.

This time he didn't shout but spoke in the deadliest voice a human had ever delivered. "You will let her go now or you will soon find yourself acquainted with the pain of death but not death itself. It will be the crows feasting on your innards that finally kills you, not me."

The youth turned back to him, visible shaken by the words and the voice that had delivered them despite the limping form that had issued them.

Shin heard the darker haired youth's friend, the one that was restraining Takana, telling him that he could easily best him. This brought a little of the youth's confidence back once more and he pulled a dagger out of his belt.

"Unwise." Shin cautioned.

"We'll see about that." The youth patronized.

The young man lunged at Shin but was stunned by the crutch that had been supporting the gimp's weight only moments before, when it suddenly cracked down on the hand that held the dagger and then felt a rapid succession of hard hits of near bone crushing intensity reign down on his body as he fell past him. The youth crashed hard to the ground and when he tried to rise, found a solid boot on the back of his neck.

"Tell your friend to release her or I will snap your neck with a twist of my foot."

"NITO, LET HER GO! This guy's serious!"

Shin saw the other one let Takana go and she fell to the ground. "We were just joking with her man; really, we weren't going to do anything to her."

Shin found himself suddenly aggravated that he couldn't smell their fear. He got what he wanted a moment later when he ground his boot into the neck of the immobilized one beneath his foot. The pathetic thing shit himself and the stench made Shin move away.

"If I ever see you anywhere near here again, I will finish what was started today."

The man on the ground scrambled to his feet, uncaring that he had soiled himself and ran off into the distance with his buddy.

When Shin was sure that they were long gone, he immediately moved to the still fallen woman. When he neared her, he knew she was crying but trying to hide it from him. He respected this woman more and more everyday. She was trying to shield her weakness from him but at the moment, that was the furthest thing from his mind. He had an undeniable need to know that she was alright.

He knelt down beside her and showing more compassion he had the entire time he'd been under her care, he asked her, "Takana, are you alright?" What she did next took him completely by surprise. The moment he touched her shoulder, she flung her arms around him and clung to him as though her life depended on it.


	6. Day One Hundred

**Chapter Six – Day One Hundred**

The weather outside was miserable, just like it had been miserable for the past six days. It was safe to say that the two occupants of the little hut were getting a little stir crazy. Takana had used up her entire supply of carving wood and sat there putting finishing touches on projects that did not require finishing touches. Shin was not so lucky. He didn't have that kind of excuse to look like he had something to do. All he could do was sit there and stare at the leaves swirling around in this luke warm tea. It was not a fascinating as it sounded. He sighed.

Takana looked up at him. She drew one side of her lips up to the corner of her mouth with a look of consternation. She had no idea what to do about their current state of mutual boredom but soon both of them were going to go out of their minds of they didn't do something about it. An idea then popped into her head that she dismissed at first as silly and childish but the more she thought about it, the better it began to sound as the possibility of continued boredom continued to loom over them.

She stood from her carvings and gathered up a few things she would need in order to make this work. She grabbed a simple wooden cup and a few small stones from near the fire pit. Then she walked over to her hut mate and sat down next to him.

He glanced over at the woman and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Don't do that yet." She warned. "I haven't even said anything yet."

The eyebrow remained raised.

"I thought that maybe we could play a game to pass the time." She said in a half hopeful, half skeptical voice. Always the contradiction.

"This..." He almost had something there but then lost it before he could really grab a hold of it so he finished the statement. "I do not play games."

"I didn't think you would. Probably for the best since you'd just lose anyway."

The eyebrow went back up. He knew he was being baited but the prospect of staring at his tea for the next few hours until he became tired enough to fall asleep didn't seem like that great of a plan either. He took the bait and the opportunity it presented.

"I also do no lose."

She smirked. "No? A load of wood when this weather clears says you do."

"Very well then, baked apples if I don't."

She didn't have any apples left but she also wasn't going to lose so she nodded to him. "Here's how it's played. Pay attention, it's complicated." She set the cup several feet away from them and then set an equal number of pebbles in front of both him and herself. "Whoever gets the most rocks in the cup wins. You got that?"

He rolled his eyes, complicated indeed. "I believe I will be able to manage."

"New guy goes first. It will be the best of three games."

"Very well." Shin picked up his pile of four stones and looked at the cup critically.

He tossed the first stone...

Missed.

Takana smiled. Shin frowned.

He tossed the second stone...

Hit.

Shin smiled. Takana frowned.

He tossed the third stone...

Missed.

Appropriate expressions for each.

Fourth stone...Hit.

"Two of four, not bad for a beginner." Takana tried to be a good sport.

It was now her turn. She did rather well.

First...hit

Second...miss

Third...hit

Fourth...hit

"Three out of four. Game one, Takana." She announced as she stood to retrieve all the stones.

Shin had no desire to lose this bet and while she gathered the rocks, he scooted marginally closer to the cup. She didn't notice and moved once more to sit next to him. He wasn't sure if it was his change in proximity but he was more than pleased with his second showing. Four for four.

"Beginners luck." She said with a hint of jealousy.

"Luck had nothing to do with it." He stated in all seriousness.

Takana was not near as good in the second round. Two out of four.

"Game two, Shin." He announced in the same manner as she once again stood to gather the stones. He heard her huff. Once she had returned to her spot, he spoke again. "Shall we make the final game more exciting?"

"What did you have in mind?" Asked a skeptical opponent.

"Instead of tossing all the stones per player, we take turns."

Takana mulled it around in her head for a moment before agreeing with a sharp nod of the head. Shin began again.

First throw...hit.

Takana's first...hit

Shin's second...hit

Takana's second...hit

Shin's third...hit

Takana's third...hit

Shin took a deep breath and focused all his attention on the cup, just when he began his wind to toss the tiny stone at the suddenly very important wooden cup, Takana coughed. He stopped and looked at her. She feigned a platitude and then swore her silence. He no longer felt bad about his scoot closer. Again, he prepared to throw and held his breath when the stone alighted from his hand. It flew with perfect arch and passed into the mouth of the cup flawlessly.

"Four out of four." Shin reminded Takana as she readied herself for the moment of truth. She gave him a fake smile that told him of her lack of amusement at the reminder and then concentrated on the cup as well. She tossed the pebble and watched it flow through the air. It struck the lip of the cup and bounced off to the side, landing on the floor of the hut.

Takana bowed her head at her defeat. She looked up to find a very self satisfied Shin sitting there looking at her.

"I told you that I do not lose but you did not listen."

To add perfectly to the childish game they had just played, she stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, in the end it doesn't matter. We're out of apples so it will be some time before I have to make good on my end." She said smugly.

"You will not get out of our agreement that easily." He replied slyly.

Takana's heart suddenly beat irregularly as Shin moved over to her. She didn't move as he leaned over her so that their faces were only inches away from one another. He was so close, she could smell the scent of his skin, musky and masculine. For a moment, she was afraid that placing a wager on the game had not been such a good idea after all when suddenly he pulled away and two less than perfect apples were brought into her view.

"Why...you took those..."

"I simply placed them aside for a more appropriate time." He smirked at her. He was well aware of the state he had just placed her in and it had been far more fun than the game they had just finished playing. He probably shouldn't have teased her like that but when the opportunity arose and her attitude was so defiant, he just couldn't help himself. He surprised himself though. He had liked being that close to her and now wished he had drug out the tease for a moment longer. She had smelled good and he'd had the strongest desire to taste the skin of her neck. He controlled himself however and was content by the flushed expression she now wore.

"If I hadn't come up with the game in the first place, I would think that you planned the whole thing."

"But I did not, so I did not." was his response. "Have you played that game before?" He asked.

"A long time ago, when I was a kid. My brother and I came up with it on a day that wasn't too unlike this one."

"Your brother Shin?"

She nodded as she took the apples from Shin's grasp. She seemed to be remembering some long ago day. For a moment she looked amused but all too soon, her countenance turned sour.

Takana suddenly realized how she must have looked and quickly rectified her expression into that of her normal, easy going attitude. "Would you like them tonight, or another day?" She asked, changing the subject as best she could.

Shin didn't press her, he'd learned that lesson long ago, and allowed his attention to be drawn back to the subject of the apples. "I don't think their going to last much longer."

Takana nodded and gathered the thick cooking pot she used to bake the apples in the pit. Shin watched as she picked several specific spices that would soon leave the hut smelling absolutely wonderful.


	7. Day One Hundred Forty One

**Chapter Seven - Day One Hundred Forty One**

Shin stepped into the early morning air and out of the hut for his customary walk. The outings had first been suggested by Takana with the explanation that he needed to move about a bit more in order for his leg to heal properly and strongly. That had been three weeks ago and now, whenever the weather permitted, he would make a large enough circuit around the hut to get a good walk in but close enough that if the weather turned for the worse suddenly, he could get out of the storm before he froze to death.

Today was unseasonably warm and Shin took full advantage. He'd taken a walk the day before but had cut it short when dark and threatening clouds started to appear, which had been both a mistake and a gift.

Looking up at the quickly darkening sky, he cut off the path he normally took and headed back in the direction of the hut. He could already see its tell-tale smoke trail after only a few minutes of hiking as he continued to eye the clouds; they were dense and looked to be full of snow. It wasn't long before small flurries of flakes began to swirl around him. If he had been farther away, they might actually have made him nervous but now that the hut was only a few hundred yards away, he actually found them pleasant. Perhaps another storm would prompt the woman to teach him a new game or partake of the one they had played not too long ago. He actually found himself desiring increased contact with her. He wanted her to speak with him, to give him a reason to speak with her. He didn't know why he found it so difficult sometimes to think of things to say to her that didn't sound as though he simply wanted to talk. But then there was that, why didn't he want to just talk to her for the sake of talking to her? Why did the idea bother him deep down? Why should it? He shook his head. He was tired of fighting his first instincts on everything he said and did. He longed to just be able to do them without the nagging feeling that he was acting improperly somehow, that she should be beneath him when she had done nothing but prove herself to him day in and day out.

She was clever, talented in both healing and carving, full of wit and in her own way, and in a way that he increasingly saw her as, quite attractive. He shook his head again. He needed to stop thinking about her like that no matter what his instincts told him. The living area of the hut was far too small and the winter promised to be too prolonged to begin thinking thoughts related to her being female and him male.

He gathered a burst of speed and tried to walk more without his crutch, welcoming the slight discomfort as a way to redirect his thoughts. The wind began to pick up suddenly and gave him a new appreciation for the warmth the hut provided and he congratulated himself on choosing to cut this particular walk short.

He approached the hut from the side and wasted no time in throwing back the entrance cover. What he saw made his breath seize in his lungs and made the very woman he'd been thinking about spin to face him. She only faced him for the briefest of moments however before she covered her face with one hand and pulled up the hem of her bathing robe back over her shoulder with the other. What he'd seen was gone in an instant but it was burning into his eyes and his mind forever. He had seen the creamy white skin that she kept hidden beneath layers of cloth. He has seen the curve of her slender back when she faced away and the softness of a full breast when she turned to him.

Shin spun around to face the other direction once the impact of the scene made itself known to the brain that was all but completely fixated on the sight he had just witnessed.

"This Sessh..." He stopped mid sentence, unable to finish the word he had started. The unfinished word startled him almost as much as her nudity had. However, the awkwardness of the situation quickly jumped back to the forefront of his mind and he finished what he had originally meant to say. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

She cut him off before he could finish his apology. Her voice sounded just as flustered as his. "It's ok, I just expected you to be gone longer."

"The weather started to turn; it's snowing as we speak."

She finished dressing and told him to come inside before he got sick. He'd done as she asked and had not been able to get the sight out of his head even in sleep as his nighttime visions were filled with her nude form. Needless to say, there were no games played that night and it was not on that evening that he spoke simply because he wanted to speak to her. Neither occupant spoke and both retired early though sleep came slowly for both of them.

AN: Sorry to everyone for the tiny chap, another will be out very quickly.


	8. Day One Hundred Seventy Six

**Chapter Eight - Day One Hundred Seventy Six**

Ever since seeing Takana nearly nude that day over a month ago, Shin thought about her that way often. It wasn't that he made a conscious effort to do so, it just happened much to his utter dismay and sometimes embarrassment. It happened at the most inexplicable times as well. She would be bent over a pot of stew that would serve as their food for the next several days and he would unconsciously begin to ponder just what her naked form would look like in that position. The moment the vision popped into his head, he would immediately turn from her, shake his head and try to think less arousing thoughts. At times, it was so intense a thought, that it would actually affect him physically. Those times were the worst and found himself both thanking and cursing the confined space of her hut. He thanked it because the occasional physical evidence of his arousal was easy to conceal due to the lack of necessity to move around much but he also cursed it for the simple fact that it was so small; there was no way of escaping her presence within its tiny, one room premises.

If Takana noticed any of his strange behavior, she did a suburb job of keeping the knowledge to herself. Unfortunately, it was her lack of mentioning it that could only confirm that she had indeed noticed for she was far to perceptive a creature to not have seen his consternation and sharp looks directed at anything but her. And if she had declined to question him about his strange behavior, then she most likely was well aware of his motives for acting in such a peculiar way. Then there was the constant thought as to her motives for remaining silent as she was. It could either be because she did not want to cause him any more embarrassment than he already was experiencing or more likely, the whole situation made her uncomfortable due to her past. He hated to think that his foolishness and lack of perceptiveness was the cause of and discomfort for her, especially the kind he was inspiring in her now. He could only imagine how difficult it must be, to be a woman that had been forced against her will and then be thrown out of the only place and away from the only people she had ever known as a result. She did not deserve such treatment and the mere idea of it was enough to make him grit is teeth and clench his fists.

"It was not your fault, you know?" He stated more than asked as his metal revelations made its way to his mouth. He noted her immediate confusion when she turned to face him.

"What wasn't my fault?" She asked, though he could tell that halfway through asking her clarification question that she realized exactly to what he was referring.

She looked away from him immediately and he felt like a moron for his verbal attack of diarrhea. How could he let himself say such a thing to a woman who obviously had no desire to discuss the situation with him? Besides coming to her rescue from those disgusting excuse for men, he had never given her no reason to trust him in such a way. He couldn't even have a conversation with her without the nagging feeling that he shouldn't; so why now was he bringing up such a sensitive issue? Why couldn't he just keep his mouth closed? He had been so good at remaining silent so far. So why when he most should have remained thus, did he ask the most personal question of her that he ever could have?

Idiot.' He silently chastised himself. He envisioned himself actually smacking his own face. He deserved such treatment.

Takana was so thoroughly thrown off guard by his statement that she didn't even notice the obvious play of self deprecating emotions cross his face and obvious emotion on his face was something that rarely ever happened. She hadn't expected such a question and might even had made it through the day without thinking of it. Day without the constant shame had been practically non-existent before his arrival but lately, several days could pass before the thought occurred to her.

The fact that he had asked such a thing actually worried her. Did it mean that he thought of her humiliation often? Was she so tainted, was he so disgusted by it that he could not bring himself to think of anything else concerning her but it? She knew that was how her father had been and now she felt foolish that she had allowed herself to think that Shin would be any different. She didn't even know him in all reality. So why would she expect him to be able to look past something so shameful? Tears began to form in her eyes and she refused to look at him, the embarrassment and shame were simply too great.

Shin mentally smacked himself again when she didn't say a word for the longest time. He knew she was crying, he didn't need to be able to smell it to know that. His eyes scrunched together. How did he know what tears smelled like? He suddenly had a strange sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he was being dropped off a cliff. It felt like he was about to find something he'd desperately been searching for when he was suddenly pulled back to the situation he'd created by the sound of her voice.

"I'm sorry."

Now he was really confused. Not only did he feel slightly nauseous from the strange sensations he'd just experienced but he had no idea for what she was apologizing. It was said with the exact same defeated tone and with the exact same words as the day he had saved her from those two men. He had mostly ignored her apology then, dismissing it with a quick statement but his words then had obviously not been taken to heart. He had never seen her do anything wrong. She had never given him a cross word, or a cross look. She had saved his life and healed his injuries. What then did she have to be sorry for?

"What are you apologizing for?" He asked, the confusion and mild irritation that he couldn't suppress evident in his voice.

"For being so worthless." She whispered to her hands that sat limply in her lap. She still couldn't look at him, she was too ashamed. She truly didn't know how she brought those things on herself. She didn't know why that youkai had picked her that day, why he had done what he did to her or what she had done to encourage it but she knew with complete certainty that it made her feel weak, dirty and worthless. She thought she had fixed it, whatever it was, but it had happened again, or would have if it hadn't been for Shin. She tried so hard but it seemed that nothing she did solved her problem. She lived alone, only went into town when absolutely necessary and barely spoke to anyone. She didn't dress provocatively and wore drab, loose fitting clothing but nothing seemed to help. The villagers still saw her as nothing but a youkai's whore, just like her father told her she was. She hadn't wanted to be forced to the ground that day, to have him hit her and then hurt her in the worst way she could conceive! She truly didn't!

"You are not worthless." He stated plainly and in all honesty. "Why would you think that you are?"

She couldn't shake the feelings she had lived with for the past four years. "I am." She said quietly, still seemingly fascinated by her tightly clasped hands. "I am because somehow I let him, I would have let them.

His irritation from before immediately burned into anger. She blamed herself for her rape and for the men that had attacked her. How could she? His next question held more venom in the tone than he would have liked but it was a question he needed to ask.

"Did you want them to?"

"NO!" She spun her head to look him.

"Did you ask them to?

"No." She answered again, a little less fervently.

"Did you do anything to invite it?"

She just shook her head no, tears streamed down her face and she turned her eyes back to her lap.

"Then you did nothing wrong. You were not at fault."

"But..." She trailed off, tears dripping onto her fervently clasped hands.

Now he was truly angry. Not only did she believe possibly the most foolish notion he'd ever heard, but now she did not believe his words, and he did not lie. He quickly moved through the few feet of space that separated them and firmly grasped her chin with one hand, the hand of the arm she had healed. He pulled her head up until their eyes met, he would make her know his mind and make her know that it was the only possible truth available to her.

"There are no buts. You had no control over what that despicable excuse for a living creature did. The youkai was assuredly a hundred times your strength and you could not have stopped it had you been surrounded by those who would have protected you. It is not your fault that he took what he did. It is not your fault that your father was a fool that could not see past his own shame and see just what it was he was casting aside. You saved my life and I will not have someone of your talents, your skill and your devotion to life tell me that she is anything less that miraculous. You have done all this alone, lived alone for years with no help from anyone. The men that attacked you were spineless cowards that should not have been spared that day." He paused a moment to catch his breath after the sermon he had just uncharacteristically delivered. "Never...ever...again, tell me that you are worthless; do not even hint at the notion. You do us both shame by saying such a thing and yourself even more if you actually believe it." For the first time since waking in this tiny hut and speaking to this amazing woman, he felt as though her were speaking to an equal. It felt…satisfying.

She looked into his eyes, into those impossibly blue eyes. She'd noticed them before, the first time he woke up. One couldn't miss something like that, something so uncommon where dark eyes dominated the faces of every other person she'd ever known but for the first time, she truly found them beautiful. Not because of their startling color but because of what she saw behind them. He really _didn't_ think she was disgusting. He didn't think she was worthless, that she was tainted. He just saw _her_ and it was probably the first time in her life that anyone ever had.

"Don't ever tell me that you are sorry for that again. Do you understand?" It was another one of his commands but this one was said with a softer tone that she'd ever heard him use.

She just nodded, her throat too swollen on her own emotions to utter a sound.


	9. Day One Hundred Eighty Five

**Chapter Nine - Day One Hundred** **Eighty Five**

After a couple of weeks of strangely freeing but exhausting emotional turmoil, things had started to settle back into something of a state of normalcy for the two occupants of the small hut. The long winter was finally starting to lose its hold on the mountain and though it was still quite cold, the wind didn't have the same bite to it which it had for so long. Shin was extending his walks to far greater distances and often took the crutch along with him only for emergencies as his leg felt nearly as good as his uninjured one.

Takana was so confident in the improving weather that she had already begun to seed some of the garden plants she grew that took a longer time to mature. She had also gone back to collecting more teak for her carvings, which she soon planned to take to the nearest villages in order to barter for goods and sell for spare currency. Shin was more than simply impressed by the collecting she had amassed over the winter and though he had no idea what value they held in relation to other goods, he was positive that she would be happy with what she was able to get out of them.

Nothing more had been said about Takana's past and she found herself rarely thinking on it these days and when she did, it was more often about how grateful she was for the words Shin had given her that day and the added confidence that had come along with them. She found herself looking at him more than was truly necessary lately. She hadn't needed to gaze at him in order to discern that he was nearly fully healed but she did it anyway. She tried not to let him know that she did such things but knew that she had been caught one time or another during which times; she would turn her gaze away and feel the slight blush that would result. She did note, with delight, that he did not seem irritated by her shy looks but actually seemed mildly amused or pleased by them.

In fact, Shin found her little glances to be a bit more enjoyable than he would ever let her know. He had learned to control his embarrassing fantasies or more to the point, he had learned to control his reaction to them. He had also begun to indulge his imagination slightly more than before and found that he rarely chastised himself for allowing them to happen. He knew that he should not, but it felt good to do so and perhaps even right. Increasingly, he found her more and more attractive. It was small things that he began to notice, like the way her hair had a slight wave to it after she washed it and before she put it up into the simple bun that was her common way of wearing it. He began to notice the way she moved, with an amount of grace that one born to a small mountain village would not normally have. Though he was nearly sure that it was a fairly new development. He actually liked to hear her speak, her voice was fairly low and quiet and lulled him when he felt out of sorts, especially after he experienced one of those falling sensations that had become more and more common of late. She seemed to have picked up on that and the fact that he had the bouts of uneasiness. She would make a point of starting small conversations him; and effectively distracted him from his discomfort with both her words and her calming voice.

Shin knocked next to the entrance of the hut, as had been his practice since his blunder, though he often wished that she would just not hear it so he could enter and meet a similar sight or even one more revealing than he had stumbled onto before. He was just barely conscious of the fact that he actually seemed to knock just a little softer with each subsequent return.

"You can come in.", her voice announced from within the hut, though it sounded a little distracted.

Shin walked in to find Takana closely inspecting each completed carving she owned. There were several piles she'd arranged and from his perspective, he couldn't immediately see by what criteria she was separating them. Each pile held objects of different sizes; some were containers, some were utensils and some were merely objects that were nearly decorative in nature, though those were rare amongst the piles. After trying to discern her current chore for several minutes, he finally gave up and asked.

"What are you doing?"

She glanced up at him for the briefest of moments before returning the bulk of her concentration to her current project. "Sorting," she stated quickly. If she'd been looking at him, she would have seen the vexed look on his face but as she was too caught up in what she was doing, she missed it.

"I can see that woman but what are the means by which you sort and to what purpose?" He asked, slightly perturbed by the lack of attention she was showing him.

"Oh…um," she started, still too distracted by her incomprehensible sorting process to devote the proper amount of effort to his question. She finally mumbled out the answer in a barely comprehensible sentence, if it could even be considered that. "Sorted…eh, by value…for market," she finally finished.

Shin scrunched his eyebrows together but didn't dare try to continue the one sided conversation, now well aware that he was nothing but a nuisance at the moment.

"I see," he stated lamely, and made his way over to the stew pot. It was cold. He had left very early in the morning, before the sun rose over the horizon, to take his daily walk. She had still been snugly bundled in the covers of her futon and still slept soundly when he left. After his long absence, he knew she would be awake when he returned but, obviously something had possessed her in the meantime and made her act so strangely that she had forgotten to heat the morning meal and not jump at the chance to chatter away. He sat down in a huff on his futon and just looked at the pot that should have contained his hot morning meal. Somehow, she must have noticed his little tantrum through her earnest work and let off a little half laugh.

"You know," she calmly chided, "you could place it over the fire yourself." When he made no move to do so, she begrudgingly stood up and walked over to the covered metal container.

Shin smirked to himself. He would get what he wanted after all. He watched as the woman reached her destination and grabbed the lid of the container. All normal actions, but that's were the normalcy ended. Instead of grabbing the side holds of the pot like she normally did, she uncharacteristically grabbed a clean wooden bowl and scooped some of the cold mixture into it. Then with exaggerated movements, she glided over to his position, kneeled demurely and extended the bowl to him with her head submissively bowed.

He was not amused.

She was though, and couldn't hold back the snickers in her voice. "Here's your breakfast…my lord." The reaction she received was not the one she had expected. She thought he would stand and huff out of the hut, annoyed by her mockery, but what happened next stunned her. One moment he had been seated less than a foot from her and the next, he was up and stepping back and away with an urgency that was almost fearful. The sudden movement caused her eyes to seek out his retreating form and was almost scared by the look she saw in his face. It wasn't anger or amusement. It wasn't reproach or scorn, but that of complete and utter shock. It was the shocked expression that made her feel uneasy suddenly. She set down the forgotten food and started to make a move in his direction, when she looked back up, she found him studying his hands and pulling up the sleeves to expose the pale flesh beneath. From her perspective, it seemed as though he were very unhappy with what he found.

By the time she made it to her feet and was nearing his shallowly breathing form, he had grabbed his hair and began looking at it as well.

"Shin?" she timidly asked, "Are you alright?" He jumped back at the sound of her voice and just stared at her with a slightly panicked expression before turning and striding to the entrance of the hut. "Shin?" She asked again but he didn't heed her call though she knew he had heard her. She called out his name again but with greater urgency when he passed through the opening and to the outside. "Shin!" She ran to the door and tore open the heavy covering only to find him gone. She heard the telltale signs of feet running off into the distance but didn't follow. Whatever had happened, he didn't want her around and the thought saddened her more than it should have.

Takana leaned heavily against the outer wall and brought one hand up to her mouth. She had meant to chastise him for his childish behavior, not do whatever her teasing had done to him. She felt terrible for her behavior, no matter whether it was deserved or not because it was all connected to something deeper.

Takana was faced with a cold hard truth. Soon there would be nothing that would bind him here any longer. He was healed enough even now that he could easily move around on his own even without the crutch and warm spring temperatures were fast approaching. Soon the season would easily support weather suitable for traveling. There was no reason for him to stay and soon she would be left alone again.

It terrified her. Even though she had lived alone for so long, she had become accustomed to his presence and the small comforts that he unknowingly provided. She felt safe with him around and even felt a modicum of happiness that she hadn't had the benefit of feeling in a very long time. She didn't know if she could handle the rejection a second time. It was not that she would ask anything of him that he could not refuse, but if he left to find the old life he once had, it would be the same thing as rejecting her.

Tears started to run down her cheeks, and her breathing felt constricted as she tried so hard not to cry, but it was all in vain. Unbidden, the light sobs began and once they started, they escalated to such heights that she dashed into the hut and dove into the familiar comfort of her bedding. She stayed there until she cried herself to sleep, though it wasn't even midday yet.

He ran until his lungs burned and until his once broken leg protested the excruciating overexertion by simply refusing to support his weight any longer. He crashed to the forest floor and managed to turn himself over on his back. He lay there, under the still leafless trees, and stared at the cloudless sky. It took over an hour for his racing mind and it's multitude of flooding images and memories to quiet enough for him to think even one clear thought.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he thought about the way he had scrambled out of the hut and away from her like some terrified rabbit. What would she think of the way she had just acted?

"Aahhg!" He suddenly yelled as he forced himself to get back to his feet. He shouldn't care one way or the other what she thought.

She was just a human and he was the Lord of the Western Lands.

The moment that thought streamed through his mind, he knew how hollow it sounded. A human Sesshoumaru slumped against the trunk of a nearby tree and pinched the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to ward off the next wave of headaches. It was all just too much. He'd tried so hard to remember who he was and now that he did… he closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree. Now that he did remember, he almost wished that he hadn't. He'd finally started to feel a modicum of comfort with the way things had played out but now… he didn't know what to do. He needed to think and sort everything out, to make a plan and decide just what the hell he was going to do.


	10. Day One Hundred Eighty Five Evening

**Day One Hundred Eighty Five, Evening**

The youkai turned human trudged slowly and with mild discomfort back to the hut that had served as his home for the past two seasons. He dreaded his return and even now had not fully decided on what he was going to do when he returned. He knew he had to explain his actions but exactly what he chose to explain was the problem. If he told her that he'd regained his memory, then the fact that he was youkai would come out. When he thought of the story he'd have to tell her in order to explain his situation, he wanted to kick himself. It sounded absolutely ridiculous even to him even though he knew it to be true. She would never believe it. She might even think that he had lost his mind.

Then there were the more practical concerns. If he did tell her, and by some miracle she did believe him, how would she react? She had been raped by a youkai, one that sounded similar to him. She might tell him to leave, force him out of her home. He knew that if she did, he would leave. He could force her to let him stay but she didn't deserve to be a prisoner in her own home. She had been through too much already. He couldn't just leave either, he had nowhere to go and it was still too dangerous for him to travel around within his ancestral lands, even as a human, he still looked mostly like himself. Though he could follow through with his original plans of leaving the West and coming back when the year was up, he couldn't chance it. He had survived this long, he was not about to screw it up now.

Besides, what if the creature had lied to him? What if it left him like this forever, to live out the rest of his abbreviated life as a human? What would he do then? The idea of living alone seemed ridiculous. He didn't yet posses the necessary skills that Takana did which would make that a viable option, besides, would he want to? He had become comfortable here during the time he believed he was human like her. He found her company pleasant and had even begun to… He shook his head. He most certainly could no longer entertain those ideas though he was surprised to find that the allure of them had not changed in the least. Would they when he returned to his youkai self? He shook his head again, this was not something he needed to be thinking about right now, he had far more important problems to solve other than his growing attraction for a human.

There was one cold hard fact that faced him. He could not leave. He could not do anything that would jeopardize his current, fairly secure position and as such, he could not tell her of his past because of hers. He could not accurately predict her reaction to the news. Sesshoumaru finally came to a decision.

He would not tell her. He did not want to lie but at this point, he had no choice. Far more than his pride rested on this decision. The future of his empire was at stake. With lack of an heir and with no other person he believed strong enough to control it, the Western Lands could very well collapse and plunge the entire region into a bloody civil war as the different clan heads battled for power and position with one another. It would also affect far more than just the youkai population, as the fighting would inevitably be drawn into the human villages and towns. Hundreds of youkai could lose their lives and thousands or more humans too could die. He had to simply put aside what might be the right thing now in order to do what was right for the future.

He stopped when he saw the little hut through the break in the trees. He heaved a great sigh, contemplated what he would tell her in place of the truth and made her a promise. If he was going to lie to her, then he would find a way to make it up to her and he knew exactly what that task would be. He would seek out and end the life of the creature that had ruined any chance at a happy future that this amazing young woman may have had. He would kill it and make sure she knew that she would never have to fear a repeat of the shame. She had saved his life and in return, he would make sure her protection was guaranteed, if he survived the rest of the year anyway.

Steeling himself and running through the excuse for his reaction earlier, he set back off toward the hut. It only took him a few minutes to reach the entrance. He took a deep breath and knocked. There was no response but he definitely heard movement within. It was the sound of footsteps and they were headed toward the entrance. They were hers, he had heard them enough to recognize the gait though the spring in her step seemed lost somehow.

A moment later, the curtain was pulled back and a red, puffy eyed Takana stepped out. It was obvious that she had been crying though her face was now dry, having been wiped clean.

"I thought you had left." She said quietly, looking at the space on the ground between them.

"I…" He paused, "I did not, I just…had to leave for a while." It was a lame response.

"I didn't mean to insult you." She looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry." Her eyes sparkled with a fresh batch of tears that were ready to fall if he rejected her apology.

Sesshoumaru almost laughed. She thought he was angry about her teasing and more than that, she had been worried to the point of tears, that he had left because of it. He couldn't help the swelling of pride he felt at her sentiment. She wanted him to stay, a woman that had lived successfully on her own for years was almost distraught over the thought of his absence.

"You have nothing to apologize for." He readied himself. "My behavior earlier had nothing to do with what you said, I just suddenly felt out of place."

Takana was definitely surprised by his contradiction but took him at his word. The stress of the past day suddenly lifted and she couldn't help but smile. When she saw some of the tension leave his face as well, she remembered herself.

"What happened? Did you remember something?" She looked hopeful; her earlier attitude had dissolved away, completely forgotten in light of his words and the hope that he was regaining something.

"No." He said almost too quickly. "I just thought that I was going to, it felt like I was but then…" He let the statement finish itself with the silence that followed. He held his breath. He didn't know how convincing his lie was. He didn't have any experience with telling them. This entire scenario confirmed his long held belief that lies were only told by the weak, and that was exactly how he felt right now. He hated it.

"Oh." Takana responded but it was her facial expression that expressed her sympathies. She would not express it verbally. She did not want to put him in a position that made him feel any worse than she suspected he already did. She would not allow her sentimentalities to wound his pride further. Besides, she was still too relieved by his dismissal of her poor behavior to press the issue.

"Well, it's getting cold; I have some fresh hot stew if you want some."

Sesshoumaru, unwilling to create any more possible conversation on the subject, welcomed the new topic and nodded. He didn't miss the irony of it however as it had been cold stew that brought all this on in the first place.

They both reentered the hut and Sesshoumaru, now pretending to be the same Shin he had been for two seasons, sat down and allowed her to serve him his dinner in what was probably the same bowl as this morning. This time however, she did not kneel in front of him or call him her lord but just handed it to him. She then took her customary seat with a bowl of her own. They ate in silence for some time and as each moment passed without something said, the tension in the air became thicker and thicker. Takana could not take much more and was about to say something inane when she was surprised by the sound of Shin speaking.

"Did you finish your sorting?"

"Ah…oh yes, I did. You were gone so long, I needed to keep myself busy with something."

"What do you plan to do with them now?" He asked as casually as he could, trying to, but finding it difficult to maintain his demeanor with all the thoughts of his true identity swirling through his mind.

"Sell and barter them for goods at the surrounding villages."

"When will you do this?" He asked after the next sip of broth.

"Well, I originally planned on going to one of the closer communities tomorrow if the weather looked like it was going to hold." She seemed distracted as she answered the question, as though her full attention was not on him but elsewhere.

"But now?" He sensed the hesitation in her voice.

"What…oh, well…I don't know if I feel up to it anymore. Maybe another day." She was still a terrible liar and it was the first time she'd done that since late last fall, the day she told him about her past.

"You truly are a terrible liar." He stated nonchalantly. Her eyes snapped up to meet his, he found the annoyed expression on her face quite endearing and forgot his own problems for the moment. "Perhaps you should just be honest with me." She looked suspiciously at him for a moment but then just sighed.

"How do you always know?"

"You don't look at me and lately, that is rare." The quip surprised even himself and though he immediately should have regretted it due to the current circumstances, he couldn't help but find the bright flush of her skin highly attractive.

"I…I don't know what you're talking about." She wasn't looking at him again.

"Liar." He mercilessly persisted in the tease, too captivated by her reactions to care if his actions were improper.

"Why you…I should…" Even though he had flustered her, and was the cause of all the embarrassment she was currently feeling, she was pleased that things seemed as they always had been. She had been so sure that he was leaving, that this current teasing was a welcome to the thoughts she had been entertaining earlier that day.

She had no doubt that he would one day leave but, for the moment, she was satisfied that today was not going to be that day.


	11. Day Two Hundred Mid Morning

**Chapter** **Eleven** **- Day** **Two Hundred**

**Mid Morning**

Sesshoumaru stood anxiously in the hut's doorway. She had been gone for most of the afternoon and while that was not atypical, the weather seemed as though it was going to take a turn for the worse at any time. He looked again at the warm cloak she customarily wore during the winter. It was large, kept her warm and was completely useless sitting on the trunk where she had left it this morning. He knew why she hadn't taken it with her. It was heavy, and weighed her down where otherwise she could carry more of her precious teak. It had been beautiful this morning with neither an indication in the sky of the ominous clouds that now covered it, nor the chill that had set into the air and the strong wind that had ushered it in.

"She should be back by now." he said under his breath, his voice filled with the concern he now felt. Should he go find her? She'd taken him with her several times before but the area she collected from was so large that it would be too easy to miss her. He walked out of the hut and looked up the path that he hoped she'd be coming down soon. He could at least go part of the way, to a spot before she made any random excursions into the forest and then even help her with the load. He started down the path but stopped suddenly as a near gale force wind pushed against him and drove surprisingly frigid air through the thin cloth of his shirt and pants. He hated the cold as a human. He didn't understand how they dealt with it. As a youkai, he rarely even noticed the elements, no matter their severity. The last time he'd worried about the cold, it had been for a susceptible little girl.

Sesshoumaru ran back to the hut, grabbed the cloak she'd made for him, and the one she'd left behind. She must be freezing' he worried to himself. He needed to find her and quickly, before the weather worsened further. The thought that he might be endangering his own life by going after her barely registered in his mind and the part of it that did, brushed it away and pretended that it hadn't. He'd be damned if he was going to let his savior suffer a senseless death just because he had a strong desire to survive. She had saved his life, he wasn't going to hesitate in returning the favor if need be.

He ran back out of the hut, not even noticing that his leg didn't pain him at the moment and unfortunately, as if sensing his thoughts, the weather did suddenly take a turn for the worse. Thick sheets of near freezing rain began to fall. The cloak did a surprisingly good job of keeping him relatively dry as the waterproofed outer hide shed the water like a well greased pan.

Takana cringed when the first drops hit her face. This was bad and she knew it. She still had miles to travel before reaching home, despite having abandoned her load the moment she believed the weather was going to worsen. She continually kicked herself mentally for having ignored the time of year in favor of the glorious morning. She picked up her pace to a light jog over the path as the rain really started to pour down in sheets. It only took a minute before she was soaked clear through her clothes that were now offering her no protection from the cold what so ever. Before long, she started to shiver and she had to stop jogging as her footing deteriorated with the severe tremor that wracked her body. Soon, the rain fell so thickly that she could barely see more than a few feet ahead of her next step. She'd never been so cold in all of her life. She couldn't feel her hands or feet anymore and she nearly cried out when the rain shifted from liquid drops to hard falling pellets that burned at her not quite numb skin.

She stumbled after a few more minutes and was groggily surprised that she hadn't fallen over. Hell, at the moment, forward motion surprised her as she could no longer feel any part of her body except the cold tongue in her mouth. She was so tired. She just wanted to lie down and fall asleep. Deep down in her head, she yelled at herself that doing so would be a very bad thing but the voice was so small and the rain and sleet so loud that it drowned it out completely.

Takana didn't realize it but she had stopped moving quite some time ago and was now just swaying in the strong winds. She didn't feel her legs give out or the feeling of cold, hard ground under her body. All she could think at that moment was how nice it would be to just fall asleep. With that, her eyes closed and the last thought to pass through her mind was the flicker of a dream, of silver hair and golden eyes. If she'd been able, she would have found it strange but didn't as she'd already lost conciousness.

Sesshoumaru trudged steadily ahead through the sloppy mud, intent on finding her. If he was miserable underneath two layers of thick cloak, then he was afraid to think of her condition at the moment. He'd left the hut when it was midday and with the clouds and rain, it now seemed as though it were soon going to be night. A thousand thoughts were running through his difficult to control mind about the many possibilities she could be facing. Perhaps she knew of shelter and was safe out of the elements but maybe not. Maybe she was…

He never finished the thought as a dark, undefined lump began to enter his less than perfect line of vision. The closer he got to it, the more frightened he became. He started to run and nearly fell over the object as he fell to his knees and rolled over the still form of the woman that had nursed him back to health over the bitter winter. Her skin felt icy to the touch and he nearly moaned in the anger of loss as he believed she must have died in the storm. It wasn't until he heard a muted groan that he realized that she was still alive. He clutched her to him, hefted her drenched body to his and covered her as best he could with one of the cloaks he'd brought with him and then immediately began to make is way back to the hut with his precious cargo clutched tightly to him.

He must have run the whole way, barely paying any attention to the world around him or the weather that continued to try and take the woman with it. All his focus was on the path ahead and the fragile figure he held. His heart would jump with hope each time she made a sound but her prolonged silences filled him with a dread he had never before known. He'd always understood how fragile humans could be and with his own personal experience now under his belt, he was terrified that this creature would expire right in his arms.

It seemed to take twice as long to get back to the hut than it had to find her even though he ran the whole way on the return trip. He'd never known such joy as when the tiny little hut came into view. He pushed his already burning legs to carry him that much faster and finally entered the dry hut with its, thankfully, still burning fire.

Regretfully, he set her down next to the fire and he immediately pulled her bedding off the futon and onto the floor next to the blaze. He then placed her on it and wrapped her in as many coverings as he possibly could. Uncertain of what to do next, he just sat down next to her and watched.

After a while, she started to shiver. Sesshoumaru had no idea if that was a good sign or a bad one so he crawled over to her and felt inside the coverings to see how warm she was becoming. He was horrified at how cold and wet she still was and cursed his own stupidity at not removing her wet clothes before putting her in the bedding. It was now soaked as well and she felt just as cold now as she had when he first brought her back. He ran his fingers through his near shoulder length hair and looked about the hut. He sprang into action as he pulled his bedding over to the fire. He arranged it as best he could in his adrenaline filled body and then grabbed Takana. She was still unconscious, and shaking so violently that it sent chills through his body. Without even thinking about her modesty or his own recent infatuation with her naked form, he stripped her bare and then carefully placed her in his dry bedding. Once he was satisfied with her position, he set to work laying out her wet bedding and clothing so that they would dry.

Once that task was complete, he immediately strode over to check on her. To his dismay, she was still shivering; clammy cold and the bedding did not seem to be helping at all. The blanket next to her skin felt as cold as she did. She would never warm up like this. Again, he automatically reached for his hair that was still wet from retrieving her from the storm. He gripped a clump of it and held it as he scanned the room, wracking his brain for any other ideas. His fingers slid out of his hair as he paced the length of the hut which took no time at all. Reflexively, he grabbed for his hair again only moments after having released it and suddenly stopped in his second circuit of the hut.

He pulled his hand from his hair to stare at it and then quickly put it back into his hair.

It was warm.

Where his hand had been, his hair was warm.

He felt his face. It was warm. His neck too, was warm. He felt his chest through the wet cloth of his shirt but the skin was cool to the touch. Without any debate on the matter and without a moment's hesitation, Sesshoumaru immediately stripped down to the skin he hadn't been born in and crawled in right next to her.

At first, she didn't stop shivering and he feared that his bright idea wasn't working at all but slowly the nonstop shivers turned into occasional tremors and much to his relief, those occasional tremors, eventually ceased altogether. It wasn't until she slept soundly pressed against him that he let the stress of the situation leave his body, and with it left all ability for his eyes to remain open. He quietly fell asleep wrapped around a warm woman and filled with the contentment of utter and complete relief.

She would be ok.


	12. Day Two Hundred Night

**Chapter** **Twelve** **- Day** **Two Hundred**

**Night**

Takana's eyes groggily rolled back and forth under closed lids. She was warm. She didn't know why but she felt a profound relief at the simple sensation of that warmth. She made a contented sleep sound and nestled her head snugly into the pillow she wasn't quite prepared to leave yet. Her mind was groggy, but it began to register something that didn't normally happen to her while she lay sleepily in bed. Her mind took its time, as the sensation was entirely pleasant and not at all threatening.

Slowly her mind let her know that the sensation was not just one but two distinct sensations. One on her belly and the other was on her neck. She bent her head into the sensation and was rewarded with another such sensation and this one far better than the last. Her mind registered slowly that the sensation on her belly was not a stationary one and was slowly moving up and down to areas quite near her breasts and very near the apex of her legs.

Her eyes began to move more quickly under the cover of her eyes as her mind and her consciousness began to try to discern the causes of such sensations. All at once, the two came to a consensus and her eyes snapped open just in time to release a soft gasp as a hand lightly tweaked one nipple and lips nibbled up near the lobe of her ear.

Sesshoumaru stilled the moment he heard her gasp. She was most definitely awake now and he had most definitely been caught in his ministrations. He had debated with himself the moment he awoke over an hour ago on whether or not he should extract himself from her side. The debate had not lasted long. Of course, he _should_ extricate his person from hers, but just as quickly as that verdict came in he knew he would not follow the wisdom of it. Instead, he remained pressed against her, his arm draped over her side, spooning her. He was nearly positive that she had woken some time back but had immediately fallen back to sleep, much to his relief. He watched her sleep; the slow breaths she took and the way her chest would expand with each inhale.

She was beautiful. He had known for a long time that he had grown attracted to her but this was the first time that he fully allowed himself to believe it without forcing himself to immediately deny the thought. Of course, he had thought it before he regained his memory but this was the first time since regaining the knowledge of who he had been that he had allowed himself that particular pleasure. And a pleasure it was.

He may have always hated humans but; this was one thing he now envied them. He had never known such pleasure in simply holding someone. He wondered if it was something that all humans experienced or if only a select few were allowed this treasure. After quite some time of just being content to touch her passively, his mind eventually led to the inevitable.

This time he hadn't scoffed at himself for his more carnal thoughts of the woman. In fact, after some internal debate, he decided that he would even indulge in such thoughts. Despite how wrong it may be to take advantage of the creature while she slept, when would he ever have the opportunity to do such a thing again? At least, that was the only justification he could come up with at the time. Therefore, he had innocently, or so he thought he could keep it, began to lightly move his fingers in small unobtrusive circles on the flesh of her amazingly soft stomach.

After some heart pounding moments of that, he grew bolder and moved his mouth to the exposed part of her neck. He tasted her and damned is weak human body for not being able to truly find out what this female tasted like. Still, even with his decreased senses, he could tell she was as sweet as he had always thought she would be. He continued along this path for even longer still, until again, he grew bolder. His teeth began to graze her neck and his hand began to roam.

This all led to the moment in which he now found himself.

"Shin?" he heard a small, timid voice ask.

He had no idea what to say. A hundred profound responses flowed into his mind. Each one of them elegant and seductive but this was the one that made it out of his mouth.

"I wanted to touch you." He squeezed his eyes shut at the ridiculous statement and simply stayed stock still waiting for her response.

Takana just lay there, now fully aware of her surroundings. She was lying in his bedding naked with an equally naked Shin pressed up against her back. One of his hands was currently cupping one of her breasts and his hot breath, which she assumed he must have now been holding as she no longer felt the hot puffs, against her neck.

The last thing she remembered before waking up in this rather awkward situation was trying to get back to the hut before she froze to death in the rain. She now assumed that she must not have made it back on her own power but why she was naked with him now was something she could not readily explain.

"Uh...why..." she stumbled, unsure of how to actually ask the question.

Sesshoumaru jumped to answer the question he knew she was trying to ask. "You almost died from the cold and the blankets weren't warming you up."

"So you..."

"It worked," he again interrupted, hoping to quell any other interpretation she may have.

"Oh," was all she said in reply.

They lay there like that for several minutes: neither saying a word nor moving a muscle. For Sesshoumaru, he took this as something of a victory. She hadn't screamed at him to get away from her. She just stayed there. Again, he damned his human senses. If he had been his old youkai self, this situation would have been very simple to figure out. If she desired for him to continue, he would have been able to smell her desire. If she didn't want him, he would have been able to sense her fear but as it was now, he knew only that she had not pushed him away. It was a dicey situation at best.

He weighed his options. Continue and perhaps she would consent or she would deny his advances. He had never been much of a coward, not as a youkai and he was not about to be one as a human.

After what had seemed like an eternity to both, Sesshoumaru gave the nipple still in his grasp a soft, testing squeeze. He both felt and heard Takana's sharp intake of breath.

Again, she didn't say a word. She gave absolutely no indication as to her view on the current situation and Sesshoumaru again wondered how human males could live like this. The uncertainty was almost unbearable. No wonder they were most often unbalanced fools when he ran across them. He now actually somewhat sympathized with their plights.

Takana lay there absolutely stunned and completely torn as to what to do. She knew she should put an immediate stop to this, but she couldn't help the feelings that were running through her. He wanted to touch her. That meant he wanted _her._ It was a strange thing to feel wanted again after all this time of being alone. She didn't push him away because she was currently unwilling to let go of the feeling that she hadn't known she was so starved for. After all, what could it hurt? He just said that he wanted to touch her, and maybe that wouldn't be so bad. After all, what he was doing did feel good. She had never been touched like this before. Her first time had been nothing but pain but this...

She gasped as he did it again, but this time his mouth boldly made its way back to her neck.

"Will you let me?" Sesshoumaru again held his breath. Though he could easily overpower this woman and take exactly what he wanted from her, there was no chance that he would allow himself to do such a thing. He knew her past and fully intended on fulfilling the promise he had secretly made to her, to find the youkai that had raped her and painfully dispatch him once he was given back his youkai self. He knew he was taking an awful risk, asking verbally for her consent when he was nearly sure he could have gained it through actions alone but he had to ask. The last that had touched her had not.

Another tense moment passed.

Takana, unable to say the word, nodded her consent as she tightly closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.

Sesshoumaru didn't press her and took what she offered. Though he was more anxious now as a human than he ever had been as a youkai, he kept his actions slow and tender. He had no desire to scare her and he had every desire to take her. If he moved too fast, he may loose the tentative permission she had given.

He stayed on her neck for quite some time as his hand sensually made its way from one breast to the other. His male pride soared when he was nearly positive that the quiet noises she made were that of the pleasured variety. After several minutes of light fondling, Sesshoumaru decided that he needed to know of her desire for sure. Slowly and with as much finesse as he could muster in his increasingly aroused frame of mind, his hand that was now intimately familiar with both her breasts, made its way down to the apex of her legs.

He felt her reflexively squeeze them together and contented himself with gently massaging the muscles of her thighs, while he continued to lavish her neck with as erotic of actions as he could muster. After a couple minutes, she relaxed enough to allow his hand between them. When his fingers met with the universal wetness of any female that is aroused enough to ease the act of coupling, he nearly cried out in triumph and joy. His ego swelled and he took his newfound courage and used it to coax her onto her back.

Once there, he immediately saw the expression on her face. At that moment, he verified that human women were strangely contradicting creatures.

She was as wet as any female he'd ever been with, but her face looked as though she were about to break down in tears. Her eyes were squeezed shut so tightly her eyelids appeared almost white. The lip that would have looked adorable pinched between her lips at any other time looked like it was in danger of being bitten clear through. He almost sighed audibly but caught himself before he allowed it to happen. Thinking quickly, he decided to try to coax the obviously terrified female into relaxing a little, no matter the toll it might take on his physical being. Seeing her like that had quickly given him the ability to calm the sexual inferno that was now raging inside of him.

He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against hers. At first there was no reaction, so he did it again, This time he saw her face visibly relax, if only a fraction. So he did the same with her forehead and each eyelid while staying his hand's exploration of more interesting parts of her body.

"I can stop if you wish." Not entirely sure that it was a true statement.

Those words made her open her eyes, deep brown met azure blue as he stared down at her with the warmest look that barely covered the obvious lust behind his eyes. It was then that she willed herself to relax as much as she possibly could.

"You will just touch?" she asked hesitantly.

Despite his disappointment at the obvious setting of boundaries to where this could go, he nodded, not wanting his voice to betray what he felt.

"Ok," she agreed quietly.

He felt her relax and saw as she closed her eyes once again, but this time they were not squeezed shut, just closed in timid anticipation. Touching her is exactly what he did. His hands roamed every inch of body paying extra attention to her breasts and the delicious wet spot between her legs. However, it wasn't just his hands that did the touching. His mouth tasted her mouth and breasts as much as they possibly could. By now, the bedding had fallen off the two, as it wasn't needed to keep them warm. Both creatures were doing a fine job of warming themselves up.

Sesshoumaru took a moment to stare at the naked beauty beside him while his fingers slipped between her slick folds. She gasped as her eyes shot open to look at his.

"You said..." But he cut her off.

"I am only touching." He didn't take his eyes off hers as he carefully slipped one finger inside her slick passage. Her eyes widened marginally as she stared at him.

It was true, he was only touching her but it hadn't been exactly what she'd meant. After all, anything he did would technically just be touching. It was such a strange feeling and she shut her eyes as he slowly slipped that one digit in and out of her. It wasn't until he pulled his hand away, that she opened her eyes again. He was still looking right at her, a tiny smirk on his lips as he brought the same hand up to his lips and tasted her. Takana gasped again as she watched him do this and felt another jolt of moisture between her legs.

"I want to taste you," he declared.

Takana's brow furrowed. "You just did." The confusion was evident in her tone.

He leaned down, licked her neck and then spoke softly into her ear. "Yes, but I want to taste your source." He then lifted his head up enough to see her face. He was entirely pleased with what he found. The red flush on her face stretched all the way down to the tops of her breasts. "Will you let me?"

Takana had no idea how to answer that. He wanted to put his mouth... Her eyes looked in the direction of what he had indicated and then moved back to his eyes that were still watching her intently. For a moment, she was going to say no, having lost her nerve in this particular situation until he said something that made her catch her breath.

"Please."

It was a profound word for them both. For Takana because he had always refused to use such pleasantries with her and for him because he had never used that word with any other any creature in all his life.

Their eyes stayed locked on one another's and finally, Takana gave the same method of consent as she had before and nodded dumbly. Sesshoumaru wasted no time and kissed her passionately, thankful that his gesture had not been lost on her. He carefully returned his hand to between her legs. It was not long before he abandoned her mouth and steadily made his way south, her breasts and stomach making for nice diversions on his route there.

He now moved his body down hers and between her legs. It again took a small amount of coaxing to get her legs spread far enough apart to settle comfortably between them. Once there, he pressed two fingers inside of her and began to devour her with his mouth. It took no time for his talented tongue to find the little nub that would send jolts of pleasure through her body. He smiled against her as the noises she made steadily became louder as she began to lose herself to the feelings he was causing within her.

Takana couldn't help herself as she cried out. She'd never felt this before. She hadn't even known that such things were possible. No longer did she think about the specific things he was doing to her body, she just let herself go and got lost in the multitude of excitingly pleasurable sensations.

Sesshoumaru expertly played her body like he had so many others and he was determined to make her feel the height of such pleasure. It was exciting for him as well. He knew she had never experienced it before and the idea that he would be the first to do so was more than just a little pleasant. He knew it was building within her, her noises, her tensing and finally her crying out and pressing her legs around his head like some sensual vice signalled her ultimate sexual release.

It was then that he let her alone. She was gasping for breath with one hand on her belly and the other resting on her heaving chest. It was one of the most erotic sights he had ever seen and suddenly he became painfully aware of just how excited he was. He looked down to find himself almost unbearably turgid. When he looked back at her, she too had stolen a glace at him and her expression of ecstasy had quickly been replaced by one of fear.

He suddenly knew that they would not be doing anything further on this late night. He couldn't force her to do this and he had already asked so much of her. Unfortunately, that didn't help his current predicament.

"Don't worry." He said and pulled himself up and away from her. "I won't ask anymore of you." He couldn't help the exasperation from seeping into his voice. It wasn't directed at her but more at himself. He just needed to get out of there to calm down and there was no way that he could do that while anywhere near her.

He turned and began to walk away when a warm hand grasped his. He heard her say the words `I'm sorry' as he turned back to her. The situation they now found themselves in was even more awkward than when she first woke up.

Takana had moved to her knees in an attempt to grab at his retreating hand. His assumption had been right. She didn't want him to do _that_ but she felt incredibly guilty for allowing things to go as far as they did and now putting him in pain because of her. She hadn't meant for him to turn back to her though, but now she wondered exactly what she _had_ expected. Now she was on her knees and his impossibly hard arousal was staring her right in the face.

Sesshoumaru too was surprised by the situation and just stilled. He couldn't help the hentai thoughts that entered his head when he looked down at her.

They both didn't move for quite some time until Sesshoumaru found he just couldn't help himself. If she showed any resistance, he would just leave. Easy as that, right? He reached out, ran his fingers into her hair, and gave only the gentlest pressure on the back of her head to encourage her forward.

She did resist, but didn't pull away. Instead, she lowered her eyes to the ground and whispered.

"I've never done that before."

"You don't have to start now."

He heard her sigh and would have given anything to know what was going on inside of that head of hers. She obviously knew what it was he was asking but she was obviously conflicted about whether or not she wanted to do such a thing.

Takana did have a lot going through her mind. On one hand, the idea of taking him into her mouth slightly disgusted her. On the other, hadn't he just given her immense pleasure by doing nearly the same thing? Not only had it felt amazing, but he seemed to rather enjoy it. Maybe she could at least try it. After all, it would serve as a nice exchange for what he had done to her and then she didn't have to feel guilty about denying him actually taking her.

She took a deep breath.

"I don't know what to do."

Sesshoumaru's chest almost exploded. She was willing to do this? He just couldn't believe it but quickly got a hold of himself. She was asking him for direction and unfortunately, that sent another jolt down to his loins and hardened him even more if it were possible.

He took a deep breath and managed out a brief explanation. "Touch your tongue to it. Lick it," he explained. He groaned the moment that little pink tongue darted out and tasted him.

Takana looked up at his face and couldn't help the self-satisfaction she felt at eliciting that reaction from him, so she did it again. She got the same reaction but this moan was just a deeper, needier sound. She continued on, gaining courage until he spoke again.

"Take it in your mouth," he barely hissed out. Her teasing, though extremely pleasurable, was soon going to drive him insane with want.

She looked up to see his eyes burning into her with his lust. She did as instructed and slowly pulled him into her mouth, wetting his length with her saliva. The hand that he had originally tangled into her hair suddenly tightened and applied gentle pressure to the back of her head again, but this time she didn't resist. When she had taken as much into her mouth as she could the pressure relented until she nearly drew all of him out of her mouth and then the pressure was back. This is how it went. She pleasured him as he set the pace though he never did anything more than he thought she could handle or would want to.

He couldn't believe the turn of events. Only hours ago, he thought she was dead and now here they were, her mouth wrapped around him in the most erotic of ways and before that, he'd been between her legs in nearly the same fashion. He was thrilled.

Soon the delicious friction of her mouth was bringing him to the edge. He wouldn't spill into her mouth, as he was nearly sure that she wouldn't like it, so at the last moment he pulled away from her and turned to the side, letting his seed spatter to the ground as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through his body. Once he recovered, he looked over at her to find her staring at him with the strangest look of fascination. It was slightly embarrassing, he decided, being observed in such an intimate act but he would take the embarrassment any day of the week over seeing the frightened look that had adorned her face only some minutes before.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Again, she just nodded and turned away when she realized she'd been staring. She lay down, not facing him.

For a long moment he just stood there, worried that he'd upset her somehow by maybe moving her faster that she really should have gone. He looked about the room, decided he was exhausted and went to check to see if her bedding was still wet since she was currently occupying his.

"If it's still wet..." He heard her hesitate. "You could...come back here."

His heart soared and he didn't even bother checking her bedding. Instead, he walked back over, lay down next to her, and got back into the position that had started this all. He wrapped an arm over her waist and she pressed back against him as he drew the covers up and over them. After some time, both fell asleep like this, though the excitement and this new turn of events didn't let them fall back into slumber right away.


	13. Day Two Hundred One

**Chapter** **Thirteen** **- Day** **Two Hundred One**

Sesshoumaru woke early the next morning, but not as early as his bed partner obviously had. When he opened his eyes and became aware of his surroundings, he knew she was gone. Sitting up, he hoped to see her at least within the confines of the hut, but was met with a sight as empty as his bed. Looking at the steaming cup of tea only a few feet away from him, he knew that she must at least be close by. His clothes were dry and folded neatly next to him, so he dressed himself and stood up, holding his tea. He smiled to himself as he noted the light apple amongst the other pleasant flavors his morning drink held for him today. He wondered, when he returned to his former self, would he still like the taste of apples as he did now. Though he couldn't be sure, he somehow believed that he would not. After all, he didn't like raw game in his human form and he could only guess that his tastes would go back to the way they had before. His brow furrowed. Did that mean he would no longer be fond of Takana? He pushed the thought aside; he had no desire to think about that now.

He started to think about the night before and quickly shooed those thoughts away as well, but for an entirely different reason. They were doing nothing to relieve the morning hardness he already suffered. No point in indulging in such thoughts if he didn't even know if he could indulge in the real thing again with her.

The sun seemed to have resumed its spring brightness after its short departure behind insidious clouds the day prior. Before heading outside to find Takana, he noticed that her cloak was missing, he was sure that she would not be without that particular garment until nearly half the summer spent itself.

As he stepped out of hut, he found that his first assumption had been correct. She was close by. In fact, she sat just outside the hut's entrance, looking off into the rising sun and the bright display it was putting on this morning. Takana looked up at him for only a brief moment, before nodding her acknowledgement of his presence and resuming her watch of the coming dawn. Sesshoumaru couldn't be sure, since she was already bathed in hues of pink and gold, but he was almost positive that a blush rose up on her quiet features.

Deciding that silence was often best, he decided to join her without invitation or small talk. He sat right next to her, their bodies only slightly touching, but touching none the less. They remained like that until the sun was well above the horizon, and no longer comfortable to gaze at directly, but still they didn't say a word.

Takana was a frenzy of emotions, and she silently thanked her companion for his silence as it allowed her to sort out her jumbled thoughts and feelings. Last night had been unexpected to say the least. She had not intended to get caught unawares and unprepared in that spring storm, which now showed no signs of ever having existed at all in the clear skies and warm sun. She also knew that Shin had not expected the drastic change in weather or its subsequent consequences either. He had saved her life. She had no illusions that she would be little more than a corpse this morning, and not the woman sitting against her hut with a now cool cup of tea sitting in her hands. However, upon saving her something else had happened. She quickly learned that his presence was no longer the platonic company of a doctor and his patient, but something else entirely. Something she had no idea how to handle. He had touched her in ways that no man ever had, despite her not being pure. He had been gentle and careful with her, and had even held back on his own desires for the sake of hers. Amazingly, what had happened was not something she regretted; in fact, she would always treasure the memories of what passed between them, no matter what the future brought, but it was the future and its uncertainties that caused the cacophony of emotions within her now.

Was last night just the desires of a naked man embracing a likewise naked woman? Was it something he would want again? A shiver ran down her spine at the last thought, and not the bad kind. If he did desire her again, would it just be to satisfy a lust, or did it run deeper? The part of that question that scared her was that she wasn't even sure if it mattered to her one way or another. She knew she desired him. She had been so hesitant the night before because she kept thinking that she might begin to think of him like she did the youkai that raped her. Much to her surprise and relief, she never did think of him that way the entire time, and Takana now knew she never would. He had been too gentle for her to imagine him in such a revolting way. Finally, the thought that worried her most of all at the moment, what if she decided to say to hell with it and make her desires for him known? Would her reject her? She wasn't sure if she could handle that. Rejection was too common an enemy in her life to not fear it.

Sesshoumaru's thoughts were not unlike hers, except his were conflicted with what he knew he felt now, and what he might feel when the year of this curse ended. He hated the thought that he would desire her now, only to be repulsed by her when youkai. That was not his main concern however, he was nearly sure that his thoughts on her would not change and if they did not, what would he then do when returned to his former self? It was not just that he would be youkai, but that he would be the Lord of the Western Lands. His father had died because of the human he took and his lands had been thrown into chaos and civil war after his death, and a young Sesshoumaru had only barely managed to hold them together. Did she mean enough to him to risk that, or anything for that matter? Besides the political ramifications of his desires for her, there were also her thoughts on the matter to be considered. She still believed him to be the only thing she could reasonably believe him to be, human. How would she react? If he continued this, how would he handle all of these issues? Would he be able to stop himself even if he determined it to be the best course of action for all involved? There was no denying the fact that he wanted her and more completely than he'd already taken her. It was not just his physical, sexual desire for her that he wanted either, it was just her, like she was now, sitting quietly by his side and offering some of the only real comfort he'd ever known in his life. Now that he knew what it was like to feel such a way, would he ever be able to go back to the way things were? He knew now that he didn't want to.

He suddenly realized that the opinion of human women he originally formed with his father's human had not changed in the least. They were a plague on youkai males. They made them weak, and they did it by showing them just how pleasant life truly could be when bathed in their presence. Once infected by them, it was something from which one could never truly recover. He would always want for it, need it and seek to keep it. Rin had been the start. She had never left his mind even in her death. He now knew that it was her spirit that he craved; the smiles, the devotion and the loyalty. He had been infected once but now his condition was hopeless. Takana was so much more, and no matter how he tried to deny it, he would want her always. By infecting him as she had, unconsciously as she did, she had now damned herself.

With clarity of thought he had never known, he realized that he would never let her go. She sat next to him and had no idea that she had just been claimed. He hadn't even been able to give her a choice, she was his, his to protect and his to need. He knew that he would do that until the end, whenever that may be.

"Takana." He said her name as though it were the most beautiful word he'd ever heard, but it was underscored with the fear that his realization placed on him.

She turned to look at him, but was met with action. He leaned over and took her cheek in his hand, and then took her mouth. It was gentle and not demanding but it carried with it all his trepidation for the future. She was surprised at first but quickly let it melt away all of her concerns. She needed him even if it this would not be forever, it may only be the now but now was what she wanted, what she lived for.

Sesshoumaru began to pull her in deeper to him but the moment he felt her hesitation, he relented and ended the impromptu kiss with a tiny peck to her forehead. He may have not been able to give her the choice of who she would most assuredly be spending the rest of her life with but he would give her this choice. He would not touch her again as he did last night unless she asked him for it. It had nothing to do with pride or ego but on letting her have as much control of a situation that had already gotten so far out of either of their control.

Takana was surprised when he pulled away, but also very grateful. Though the kiss had not been unwanted, there were just too many stray emotions floating around in her head at the moment. She needed time and she was so glad that he recognized it. They both turned back to watch the morning sky and the start of an entirely new day.


	14. Day Two Hundred Fifteen

**ChapterFourteen** **- Day** **Two Hundred Fifteen**

Sesshoumaru helped pack away the last of the bowls, utensils and carvings for the day's trip. This was the third of such excursions into the mountain's surrounding areas and the villages that dotted the fertile valley beneath. He found that he actually enjoyed the outings. It got him away from the tight confines of the hut which, in the increasingly warm days and after a winter stuck inside, offered a nice change of pace. Besides just getting out, it also let him see an entirely different side of Takana. Despite her usually warm, talkative demeanor, he now saw her as a shrewd businesswoman who was very good as getting exactly what she thought her wares could fetch at market. Never once did she back down from what she wanted, starting high in the bargaining but never dropping lower than what she had already determined the pieces worth to be.

During these rather loud and sometimes animated discussions between her and the business owner, farmer or shopkeeper, Sesshoumaru kept his distance and simply observed her behavior. No matter how many times he'd seen her do it already, he was still surprised at the transformation that took place. In a moment's notice, she went from being the sweet, witty healer, to a stern, stubborn tradesman. In one transaction with a shopkeeper who dealt in a variety of goods from foods to furniture, he watched as Takana managed to barter five full bags of dried apples for one finely carved box. He could tell that everyone she ran into respected her for her skills both as a carver and a tradesman. He was impressed every time.

Today seemed a little different from the others and Sesshoumaru was having a hard time putting his finger on exactly what it was that made him feel that way. There were several indications that led him to this strange conclusion. First, as he became more and more familiar with her work, especially after seeing what she was capable of obtaining in exchange, he noticed that the load they were hauling today was of a much greater quality that it had been in the past. Also, Takana was more reserved than she usually was before departing for the trip. Before she had been excited and talked almost non stop about the different aspects of the village they would be visiting, what the village was known for, where it was and what she wanted to barter for in return. This morning though, she was unusually quite, only talking about their destination if he asked her direct questions about it and even then her answers were brief and to the point, not elaborating on any aspect of it as she normally would.

He wondered if perhaps she just wasn't feeling well but when he asked if she wanted to postpone the trip, she had waved him off and told him that she was feeling just fine. With that possibility shot down, he continued to wrack his brains for others. He then inquired on whether or not their destination was quite far away or not but she had then told him that it was in fact, one of the closer villages to the hut. Another dead end but Sesshoumaru was still undeterred, now curious and fully into the little mystery that she now presented.

He was almost positive that _he_ had done nothing to cause her current sour mood. The last few days had been uneventful. Twelve days ago, he had found the sword he'd been carrying when attacked by the boar youkai. He'd had to fain ignorance upon seeing it and Takana had bought his little deception. She then told him that she had found it in the beast's carcass. Ever since then, he started training in the mornings with his now healed human body. At first, Takana had just stolen small glances at him while he'd practiced but when he'd said nothing negative about her presence, she'd started to watch more openly while weaving new baskets from some of the fibers she'd recently traded for. It pleased him that she'd taken a passive interest in one of his skills despite the fact that his movements felt muddled to him in this form, she however, seemed fully impressed by it.

After several days of simply watching him, even stopping projects for long periods of time, not even pretending to do them, he finally come to a decision.

"Would you like to learn?" He'd asked. He had been amused at the shocked look on her face. She had even looked behind her to make sure that some stranger had not come up behind her and that perhaps he had been talking to him but she was the only one there. When she'd returned her eyes to his to check on the validity of his question, she'd found nothing but sincerity in his gaze.

"You would be willing to teach me?" He'd nodded his head in response and since that day, he had begun to show her simple beginner's moves. He was surprised at how quickly she picked it up and was just as surprised at how much he enjoyed teaching her. He'd always thought that he'd find teaching another anything, let alone combat techniques, would be bothersome and tedious. The opposite was true in fact. He felt a sense of pride from the first time he showed her a simple move to the time she had mastered it. She took direction well and listened with rapt attention when he offered criticism on her form. She took it to heart and rarely made the same mistake twice.

There was another reason he found the training pleasant. Teaching her the basics of swordplay and defensive combat allowed him to get very close to her and have perfectly good reason to do so. He touched her often, correcting stance and posture. Sometimes he let his touch linger longer than necessary and though he knew she was well aware of it, there was an unspoken agreement between the two and to put it simply, it was allowed because they both enjoyed it. It was as physical a contact they engaged in since that fateful night when she almost died of hypothermia. He had decided the next day that he would not press such activities on her again unless she wished it.

At times, he wondered if she did but was too shy to ask him but other times he believed she was perfectly happy with the amount of contact they now engaged in. Their innocent battle play, filled with not entirely innocent touches, seemed enough for the both of them at the moment.

But now, he just couldn't come up with what it was that could be bothering her. They hadn't practiced this morning but they never did when they traveled to barter her goods. He shrugged as he tied the last satchel together and stood to survey his work. Everything was ready to go so he stepped outside to look for the female that filled his thoughts. He no longer minded. She was his and nothing was going to change that.

He found her by the stream, seemingly filling a traveling container with water but the jug was obviously full as the water passed by the overflowing opening. Still, she held it in the water, her hands pink where the still very cold water passed over her flesh while her gaze was directed off into the woods. She didn't seem to be staring at anything in particular and her eyes had that inward look in them that told him she was deep in thought.

"Are you ready?" He finally asked when he realized she was not going to pull herself out of her mental reverie anytime soon. If they wanted to get going before the sun got too high, they needed to be on their way.

Takana jumped. She'd been so far away in her thoughts that she hadn't even seen Shin walk right up to her. "Oh, yes of course. I was just getting us some water for the trip." She looked at Shin and saw something strange pass through his eyes at her reply though she had no idea what it was. She still couldn't read him well but she found she didn't mind. She trusted him implicitly.

She stood and followed him when he started to head back to the hut ahead of her. Every step that took them closer to the hut and closer to the inevitable filled her with dread and more this year than it had any year past. She had traveled to the village that had served as her home for sixteen years, three times since her exile but this year was going to be different. Each time she did it before had not just been for the goods that she could gather there but for a few other contradicting reasons as well. For one, she went for defiance, to show her father that she was not worthless, that she could survive without his help or the help of anyone else. But even though she thought those thoughts, she also went to show him that she was ok, that he didn't need to worry about her, that she had survived another year. Strangely enough, another set of thoughts passed through her mind while there, that he could suffer the shame she had given him by showing up year after year. It had always been a shame that he'd kept to himself but with the events of the last fall, she was nearly sure that he'd finally decided to share his shame with at least some others from the village.

They'd called her a youkai's whore that day. Those two men that had threaten to commit those same shameful acts against her and would have if it had not been for Shin's protection. The only other that had ever given her that title had been her father the night she told him of whose child she carried. He had said it only once and moments later he'd told her to leave. She had left but only to return the next year with no intention of begging to stay but if he'd asked her to stay, she'd never have returned to her little hut. Now it seemed that this little trip was going to be different. Soon she would find out just how many people he'd told. She knew who the men had been and their family was not close with her father or at least they hadn't been when she'd lived there. If they knew, it was not unconceivable that the entire village would.

To say that she had misgivings about their trip today would have been a bit of an understatement.

"Ready?" His smooth voice brought her back to herself and away from the disturbing thoughts that today's excursion was having on her. She looked up at him and could tell that he was trying to figure something out. Undoubtedly, he'd noticed her lack of enthusiasm and was trying to discern why. She debated for a moment and then decided against telling him for now. After all, she might just be unduly paranoid and today might just be like any other. Perhaps only a handful of people now knew of her past but even if everyone did, what would it change except that she may finally never go back to the village that had once been her home. No matter how hard she tried, getting rid of that desire, that fairytale was far harder than any other vice she'd ever had to rid herself of. He had cast her out and she should hate him for it but it didn't change the fact that she didn't hate her father and that deep down, she just wanted to be his daughter again.

"Yeah, I'll just finish packing up a few things."

"Everything is packed, I finished it myself." He continued to look at her as though he were trying to figure something out.

"Oh, well then I guess we can get going then." She said without being able to cover all of the trepidation in her voice.

"My sentiment exactly." He said as he hoisted one pack onto his should her and handed the second, smaller pack to her.

They traveled in silence for many miles, both deep in thought. Takana was still thinking about the inevitable and Sesshoumaru was trying to discern her thoughts. He studied her posture, her gait and even the pattern of her breathing and found that he had no idea what it was that ailed her. Finally, he was tired of not knowing, tired of meeting with nothing but dead ends so he just gave up and asked. He knew it was the easy way out but sometimes the easy way is the best way.

"What bothers you?" He asked simply enough.

Takana didn't look at him but rather sighed. "I didn't really want to go today." She answered just as simply.

"That much is obvious but why?"

Takana looked up to meet Shin's gaze. She had decided that she could trust him so perhaps she should just tell him now but she hated bringing up bad times. Every time she'd done that with him, she'd regretted it on some level. She didn't like rehashing her pain with him. It made her feel weak. She'd learned not to feel sorry for herself a long time ago but around him, she wanted to be perfect. Perfect in his eyes and each time this was brought up, she felt just the opposite. He'd never said anything to her directly that should make her feel this way but it probably stemmed from the fact that everything he did, at least in the beginning, seemed directed at putting her in her place, a place beneath him.

He hadn't done that in quite some time but the feeling of it still lingered. She wanted him to think of her as someone worthy of his company. He'd know, however, if she lied to him, he always did in his uncanny way so she looked at him, sighed and told him everything.

He listened as they walked, most of the time she looked away. He knew this was difficult for her but she told him anyway just like she always had. He wondered often why it was that she chose to tell him the intimately painful parts of her life. Before it had been difficult to hear and left him feeling uncomfortable but now it did nothing but focus his rage at all the creatures that had hurt the creature he had come to care for so intimately. No one was allowed to hurt her even if they had done it long before he even knew she existed.

When she finished, they both continued walking silently and Takana worried for a while that perhaps she should have avoided telling him anything after all but then he said something that made her stop in her tracks.

"No one will ever hurt you again." He said it with a tone that brokered no argument and he didn't stop walking when he said it until he noticed that she was no longer walking beside him. He looked back at her to see her staring intently at the ground.

"How can you say that? You'll leave someday and you won't be able to stop anything. Please don't say things like that if you can't make them true."

Sesshoumaru was taken aback by her words but didn't miss a step when he walked back to her and lifted her chin. She may not have known of his silent proclamation but he would let her know of it now. "Woman, I _can_ make it true and I will say what I know to be fact. I will _not_ leave you and that is how I can say such things. Do you understand?"

Takana's eyes were wide with astonishment. What had he just said? Did he mean it? Of course he meant it but when had he decided such a thing?

"Do you still wish to go?" He finally asked as he watched the torrent of emotions fly past her eyes.

It took a moment for Takana to regain herself but the moment she did, a wave of relief hit her. Afraid she might cry with joy, she only managed to nod her head in the affirmative. The moment she did, he turned and headed back in the direction they'd been traveling. She quickly caught up to him and walked so close that they occasionally touched as they walked. Takana couldn't help how wonderful she felt and for the first time, the thought of returning to her childhood home didn't fill her with the contradicting thoughts it usually did. Instead today, as they walked there, she didn't care what happened, what people might say or what her father thought. It didn't matter because at the end of it all, Shin would not leave her despite everything that had happened to her. He would not look at her like she was filthy because of that day almost five years ago. He would protect her from everything her father had not. Takana felt safe and secure but most importantly, she felt truly happy.

The rest of the trip was passed in amiable silence. Sesshoumaru didn't have any second thoughts about his proclamation to the woman. He would find a way to make it work. If she wanted him now as her protector as a weak human then she would certainly find him more than adequate in that capacity as a youkai. He would just have to make her understand that he was basically the same creature when the time came, if it ever did. But time passed so slowly for humans and that day seemed so far away that he decided that there was no reason to worry about it.

It was midday when Sesshoumaru saw the small wisps of smoke that spoke of human civilization. It was only a short while later when the two of them reached the outskirts of the town, dotted by small farms and the farmers that tended them. No one seemed to really take notice of them as they entered and made their way to the market portion of the moderately sized town. Sesshoumaru let her lead the way as she knew where they were going and he did not.

Takana first took them to what was obviously a butcher and had no problem bartering for what she wanted there. Sesshoumaru watched and practically begged the man with his mind to do something that would offend the woman he was with. Though he noticed the man look at her and then at him with some amount of knowing, he never said a cross word or even made an effort to show he knew anything. The one thing he did notice while he was there was a young boy, perhaps around twelve years old, scurry off quickly the moment he saw Takana. When that happened, Sesshoumaru shifted his body and noted exactly how the sword at his hip swayed with his movement.

After finishing there, they moved on to a different vendor and began doing business there. As they spent more and more time in the village, Sesshoumaru began to notice that more and more people began to take notice of their presence and he damned his human hearing for not being able to hear the quite side conversations that some of the people were having. If Takana was aware of them, she didn't show that she did and just continued on with their business like she always did.

After finishing later with the third merchant and having nearly sold all of her wares, it seemed as though the day were going to be as uneventful as all the others had been if only with a few more observers. That was, until two men that Sesshoumaru recognized showed up at the edge of the small crowd that had gathered. They were the men that had accosted Takana that fall and Sesshoumaru didn't even bother hiding the fact that he now had a firm grip on the hilt of his sword. Then he noticed several other men around the same age speaking with the two he already knew until he counted five among them. Sesshoumaru now paid little attention to what Takana was doing and placed all of it on the men that he had now deemed a threat.

"Takana, we should go now." Sesshoumaru stated in a quite tone.

Takana was so absorbed in her task that she didn't even register that she'd been spoken to at first until she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Annoyed, she looked up to the person that had pulled her out of her game but that emotion immediately fled her when she saw he was not looking at her at all but at someone she recognized.

"Alright." She said to him quickly. "Deal." She then said to the merchant though she would have liked to garner more coin for the products she was offering him. Under the circumstances, she was willing to let it go. She handed the man his goods and was given a bag of money in exchange. The moment she backed away from the man, Shin took her by the arm and began leading her out of the village. Though she hadn't let on, she had been looking around intently between merchants for the chance at seeing her father but as it had been the last three years, his face remained absent among the multitude of ones she recognized. This year however, it did not fill her with a sense of loss and surprisingly she felt very little.

Sesshoumaru continued to scan the area for any place that would place him at more of a disadvantage than he was already in. The five that he had spied in the market place had turned out to be six by the time they were leaving the square and though he didn't see them follow directly, he had not doubt in his mind that they had not gathered for the simple reason to watch them. He ran their earlier trek into the town through his mind. For the most part it had been open farming land with little of the path abutted by forest on both sides. That boded well for the first league or so but after that, they had to travel through thick woods that, though he was familiar with them, he had not grown up here like the young men from the village most certainly had. It was a bad scenario.

"Are there any other routes from here to the hut?" He asked quickly, while continuing to scan the horizon as well as the path they had just traveled.

"No, just this one unless you want to take an entire week to skirt the base of the mountain." Takana knew why he was asking and it worried her. Perhaps coming back here with what had happened last fall had not been such a good idea after all. She had just needed to know if she could never return to this place again but now that she knew she could, she wasn't sure if knowing that information was all that important, not if it got them killed. "Are we being followed?"

"I haven't seen anything yet but I believe so. If we are attacked, it will be in the forest, not out in the open like we are now."

"I'm sorry." She said quietly. "I knew they lived here but I still had us come anyway."

"If they attack us, it will not be because of anything you did. It will be simply because they are cowards." Takana nodded at his words but they didn't have that magic about them that allowed her to be absolved of all wrong here but she wasn't about to argue. If he said it, then he believed it and it was enough for her for the moment.

"What are you going to do?" She asked with apprehension shrouding her voice.

"Keep a promise." Was all he said in reply.

They continued traveling along, both keeping their eye out for anything out of the ordinary. Sesshoumaru had never had the chance to fight common humans. Any time he'd had the chance to run upon them and slaughter them; they had always been trained soldiers, not farmhands. Soldiers were easy to predict as they always followed the same code of battle but these fools were untrained as his last run in with the two had proven. But at the moment, what they lacked in skill, the made up for in numbers and Sesshoumaru hoped that it was only six that he was going to have to deal with. He may only be human but he was not about to fall at some fool of a human's hand. He would be fighting for several things at the moment. For one, he had less than two seasons left before he would know if he were to remain human or not forever and two, he would die before he let anyone harm the woman he was traveling with. He had no illusions as to what would happen to her if he were to fall and that made losing to these men a non option.

They were now entering the woods and would remain in them until they reached the clearing that held their small home. They traveled in silence and vigilance. Half an hour passed and nothing had happened. For a while, Takana thought that nothing was going to happen until finally, they found what they'd been looking for ever since stepping foot out of her childhood home.

There, at the top of the hill, was the one that Sesshoumaru had beaten so thoroughly that day, even though he'd been partially crippled at the time.

"So you still travel with a youkai's whore?" The young dark haired man said.

Sesshoumaru said nothing in return but dropped the satchel he'd been carrying and pulled Takana behind him. He heard her pull the dagger she'd begun carrying after her last encounter with this man out of her waist sash as she too dropped her bag.

It didn't take long before he was joined by two other young men, one quite tall and the other with a strange red tint to his hair. Then, from behind them, the three others that Sesshoumaru had spotted made their appearance.

"He seems like the quiet type to me, Omuno." Said the one from behind that had held Takana last fall, Nito was his name if Sesshoumaru remembered right. The other two with him were unremarkable, of medium build and dark hair.

"Just leave us be." Takana spoke up. "We haven't done anything wrong." Sesshoumaru remained silent.

"Oh you've done plenty wrong slut. We just wanted to be friendly last time Ta – ka – na." He pronounced each syllable of her name like it was something wretched. "But you had to get all loud and call the gimp in to 'save' you."

"Not very nice at all." Nito spoke up from behind them, agreeing with his sleazy friend.

Sesshoumaru still said nothing but kept all of the men in his sight that he could. His main focus remained Omuno. He was the ring leader here and if he had to deal with anyone, it was going to be him.

"Maybe this time you'll be a little nicer and if you are, we won't hurt your friend here too much." Omuno continued. The moment he began to move forward, all of his comrades began fanning out.

Sesshoumaru now pulled his sword out and held it at the ready. He was not going to play around. He was outnumbered and had to protect Takana at the same time. Moving so quickly that most of the men didn't even see, he snatched Takana's dagger from her grip and effortlessly threw it at Omuno. It landed just as he had planned, right in his throat. Sesshoumaru knew the moment he saw it hit that it was not a fatal blow but the man would never speak correctly again. He'd done it for sheer shock factor. It worked.

The looks on all the faces of his comrades paled as they saw their friend drop to his knees with his hands delicately touching the blade sticking grotesquely out of his neck. The two closest to him, ran to his aid and one vomited when he got a closer look at it.

Satisfied that the men in front would cause no more problems for the moment, Sesshoumaru wheeled on the other three. He stared directly at Nito and began to walk forward.

"You keep poor company. Leave now or I will do far worse to your neck, if I even decide to let you keep it." It said simply and after speaking directly to Nito, he addressed the other two. "Will your blood run with as much filth as the two you followed here or are you wise enough to leave now?" The two plain looking men took one look at each other, nodded to one another and then took off running back toward their village. It was only a moment later that the coward Nito took off running as well.

Sesshoumaru now turned back to the three that had been in front. "Take him back to your rat infested village. Tell your healer that removing the dagger could be deadly and that he should not have chased away the talent that could have saved this pathetic creatures life. Now move out of our way."

The two men grabbed Omuno and pulled him off to the side of the path. Sesshoumaru then grabbed Takana's arm as well as his discarded pack. They walked by the three men without even looking at them. Even after they crested the hill, they could still hear the sickening wheezes of air escaping past the hilt of the embedded knife.


	15. Day Two Hundred Sixteen

**Chapter Fifteen - Day Two Hundred Sixteen**

Despite the rather interesting run in they had with the men from her village, the rest of the journey home had proven fairly uneventful. The only point of interest the entire time was the one conversation they shared, if it could even be called that. Takana had asked Shin if he knew where the dagger would land and after he'd confirmed her belief that he had, she thanked him.

"There is no reason to thank me. We were both in danger."

"I'm not talking about scaring them off." She said quietly.

He looked at her with interest and a little confusion until she spoke again.

"I'm thanking you for what you said. For telling them...for telling my father what you did." She stared at the ground before pulling her eyes up to his on her own.

"You also do not have to thank me for the truth." Though he said it in his normal manner, the one that always had the underlying, unspoken message that he didn't care or that it was a matter beneath him, his expression and his eyes belied his tone. It was as close to a 'you're welcome' as Takana was likely to get but she understood.

Takana, now lying in her bedding, looked across the still dark interior of the hut at her savior of no less than three times. She propped herself up on an elbow and watched as his chest rose and fell evenly. She knew he was still asleep. She had watched him all night, unable to sleep herself. Her mind had replayed at least a dozen times, all that she had experienced since his arrival. It was strange. In the beginning, she had thought he was a pompous, arrogant jerk but even then she hadn't been able to bring herself to dislike him. Maybe it was the fact that he was hurt and she had to care for him that kept such feelings at bay but whatever it was, had never gone away. In fact, her view of him had slowly changed to something far more, to something she never thought she'd feel. She used to have nightmares. Nightmares, that for other people would just be dreams of being touched innocently on the hand or face, she would wake up from in a cold, shivering sweat. She now found herself desiring to be touched.

She looked forward to their little training sessions as much for the knowledge he gave her as she did just to feel his hand on her arm or more scandalously, on her leg. It was a strange thing to want in her opinion but she wanted him to touch her so much more than just that. It stemmed from so many things, from feelings of gratitude and protecting her not only from men that would harm her but also from something as powerful as the weather. But it wasn't just gratitude that made her want to let him touch her but also her own growing attraction to the very attractive man. There was a definite desire within her to touch him as well.

These were the thoughts that had run themselves around her head all night long. To put it simply, she wanted him and she wanted him to want her. She knew that both of those sentiments existed, so what was she waiting for? Could she take that leap? Could she be bold at something she never imagined herself to be bold in?

Takana closed her eyes. She clenched her fists. She held her breath and then she made a decision.

Slowly, she pulled herself out of her covers and the moment her feet touched the cool wood of the floor, her heart began to race. She made quiet, tiny little steps over to his sleeping form and stopped several times to catch her breath though it wasn't physical exertion that made her breathing act that way. After what seemed like an eternity, Takana reached Shin's sleeping form and knelt down next to him. Almost as if he sensed her, his breathing began to change into the rhythm it did when he was about to wake. Takana unconsciously held her breath.

She looked at his sleeping face, at the high cheekbones that led to a small pointed nose that in turn pointed to his thin but soft lips. She remembered the way they felt on her body and longed to feel them again. She pulled her gaze up to his eyes that were still closed in slumber and regarded the soft curve of the brows above them. He had such a strange control over them and seemed to speak more with them than he did his mouth. Under those quiet lids, she knew the most startling eyes she'd ever seen lay beneath. They were more blue than the brightest sky and though they had been cold towards her in the beginning, she now felt a warmth pour from them every time he looked at her. Almost as though on cue, said eyes opened, revealing their strange color to her eyes.

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes slowly and was met with an unexpected sight. There, kneeling next to his sleeping place on the floor was the most apprehensive woman he'd ever seen. After taking a moment to clear the sleepy grogginess from his brain he opened his mouth to ask him why she was there but stopped himself at the last moment. He knew why she was there and it made his heart jump erratically in his chest and his breathing catch. For a moment, neither moved but Sesshoumaru, afraid that she might lose the nerve she'd built up to come over here, pulled back his blankets and offered her a spot next to him.

Takana took a moment to look down at him before making a move. He looked amazing and she realized that this was the first man she had ever looked at in such a way. This was the first time she looked at a man's bare chest, with his slightly tousled, straight, black hair and felt a little warm jolt between her legs. She was amazed that simply looking at someone could make her whole body feel as hot as it was suddenly getting. She stared at the open space next to that well defined chest and came to a decision. Ever so shyly, she slipped her sleeping robe from her shoulders and let it fall to a small heap around her knees and feet, keeping her eyes on his the whole time.

Sesshoumaru gazed at those shy but slightly fiery brown eyes and held his breath when the only visual barrier between his eyes and her flesh fell to the ground. She was magnificent, perfect, at least in his eyes. At the moment, the most beautiful demoness, the most shapely, burning eyed vixen would pale next to the plain little female in front of him. He didn't want the vixen. He didn't want the seductress that could charm a thousand strong men into their beds. He wanted the simple beauty kneeling beside him. He wanted the quiet strength of her enduring character and the timid sensuality of the woman who wanted to give herself to him, not because he was a lord with wealth and power but because she found contentment with him, because she felt safe with him and because she...trusted him.

He pushed the last thought away when he reached out to lightly run a hand up the outside of one thigh and to the hand that tensed in anticipation next to it. He grasped it lightly and with a quarter of the urgency he felt but more than he wanted to express, pulled her to lie next to him. She came willingly and before she even made herself comfortable, he met her neck with hungry lips. He loved the small gasping moan that left her and it only encouraged his starved pursuit of her body.

He burned for this, as unexpected as it was, this was exactly what he'd been waiting and hoping for all this time. It wasn't until this moment that he realized just how badly he'd needed her to make this choice and his eagerness was apparent in both his passionate caresses and his body's response to her decision.

Takana was quickly lost in the sensations he was causing her and dug her fingers into his soft hair as his mouth pulled one of her hard peaks into his mouth. Soon after, she cried out as his one of his hands made its way between the legs she hadn't even realized she'd already spread wantonly for him. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, giving him the best opportunity to reclaim her neck before moving for the first time to her mouth.

This was not the same calm and careful caresses of their first encounter. No, this was something far more needy and consuming for both of them. (Tiny edited bit)

"You want this?" It was as much a statement of fact as it was a question but Takana moaned out her go ahead anyway.

"Yes." The word ended in a hiss when he pulled her legs wider apart to make room for his hips.

"Touch it." He ground out as he took one of her hands from his head and pulled it down between them. If she was willing to do this then he was going to make damn sure she knew what they were about to do. He doubted he could stop himself even if he tried but he wasn't doing it to give her a chance to back out, he did it so she would have no illusions about exactly what effect she had on him.

Takana's mind was a flood of emotions and all of them good ones from what she could tell. She was very aware of what he was telling her to do and obeyed with a feverish need. Her small hand, roughened from years of toil and carving, wrapped lightly around the smooth, turgid shaft he guided her to. Then she felt him moving forward, causing her to guide him to her. She then understood what he had wanted. He wanted her to be as much apart of this as he was. He paused for only a moment when the head of his member touched her slickened crevice. That was when he looked at her and found her wide, anxious but trusting eyes looking up at him. He held her gaze as he slowly pushed himself in a little at a time; being sure to fully coat himself in her wetness and reveling in the tightness of her.

She may have been taken before but that seemed little more than a trivial fact, a pathetic scrap of useless knowledge. Sesshoumaru didn't care that another had taken her because in all reality, she belonged completely to him and only him. She had freely given herself to him. His pace was maddeningly slow but he maintained it for now until she was adjusted to him or until he could hold back no longer.

The feeling of him stretching her was unpleasant but the man doing it to her was not. She didn't care that it hurt a little, she wanted it regardless and as a result, she bucked her hips up into his and succeeded in fully sheathing him within her. He groaned at the unexpected penetration while she let out a little whine that sounded more excited than pained.

Sesshoumaru took her bold move for what it was and wasted no time in pulling back out nearly all the way before plunging back within her depths. He was met with the same whine but louder. He searched her face for clues on how to proceed but found it a puzzle of different emotions that didn't seem to fit together properly. In the face of the unknown, he plowed ahead, quickly becoming too lost in his own pleasure to place all of his focus on hers. He did manage to slip his hand between them and begin rubbing her highly sensitive and engorged center of pleasure. Once he did, he was met with a new, even more alluring sound.

Takana gasped and moaned as his steady rhythm slowly picked up in pace. She was no longer sure what it was she felt and had ceased trying to define it as pain or pleasure long ago. All she did know was that she didn't want him to stop now or ever. She was lost in his embrace as much as he was in hers but like all things, this too soon came to an end. An end that left the couple panting and moaning in combined, sexual bliss.

Sesshoumaru barely supported himself on elbows as the last waves of tense, almost painful pleasure wracked his entire frame and ended in soft rhythmic tremors inside of her. He could barely believe the amount of energy he'd expended in the act and he was nearly sure he wouldn't even be able to lift himself off her now even if he tried. While the excursion left him physically drained and somewhat vulnerable, something he would normally detest, he found that he'd never felt more satisfied that he did right now while still embedded in her warmth and basking in the soft glow of her post coital body. Before he moved away, he stared down at their still connected body, at her still heaving breasts that were beautifully bathed in a light sheen of sweat, hers more from the exertion of her orgasm that of physical motion.

"Thank you."

Sesshoumaru pulled his eyes up to her still closed ones. "For what?" He breathed out, his voice having yet to lose its sexual, husky quality.

"For making me feel wanted again." She replied, opening sleepy eyes.

Sesshoumaru had no idea how to respond with words so he did the only thing he _could_ think of. He kissed her as tenderly as he knew how and was surprised with the amount of warmth he was able to deliver in that simple gesture alone. If only she knew how much she'd changed him, if she knew what he had been before her, she wouldn't be thanking him now but that was another thought that he brushed off as unnecessary at the moment. He would sort that out later because right now he was exactly where he wanted to be, with whom he wanted to be and in the exact way he wanted to be. And that's exactly what he planned to focus on. Nothing else because nothing else mattered one damn bit.


	16. Day Two Hundred Ninety Six

AN: Sorry so short but the next one will be up shortly.

**Chapter Seventeen – Day Two Hundred Ninety Six**

The summer seemed to pass by quickly, and Sesshoumaru found himself in a situation he never had before. He was completely and utterly content. For the first time in his life, he knew envy. How could creatures as weak as humans, with such short lives spent laboring in fields, know such bliss? Before he became human, he had never experienced a single day that was pleasant simply because another creature was near. He found himself, to his utter astonishment, finding the idea of never returning to his youkai self more and more appealing with each passing day spent with Takana. After all, what a life this was to lead. There was no intrigue, no dark plots, no worrying about the lives of thousands who had pledged themselves to him, willingly and unwillingly. He was free to enjoy a sunny day without worrying about a single treaty or border dispute. He wasn't constantly badgered by coy, vacuous females and scheming, power hungry males. Remaining human would be a short life for sure but what a pleasant life it would be. He'd never known such a thing existed, even when he was a child, life had been constantly demanding. He'd been given so much to learn, the future of a country had been placed on his shoulders before he'd been ready and he'd nearly lost it. If it hadn't been for a select few that had been undyingly loyal to his father...well, safe enough to say, the Western Lands, along with him, would not have survived.

There had been so many assassination attempts back then and that was what had hardened him most of all. He had never been a warm creature, but the final and seemingly impenetrable outer layer of his ice-like demeanor and personality had been put in place the day someone he thought he could trust had literally stabbed him in the back. He'd been unable to even stand, let alone walk for several weeks. That time spent on his back, in near constant pain had polished to perfection the hardened youkai that had walked these lands just over a year ago. It was the defining moment of his life and it had been then that he shut all emotion off. It had been then that he didn't allow even those he trusted most to get anywhere near him. It had been that act of treason, of betrayal that made him push people away and why, even in the act of rutting, that he kept his partners emotionally distant. This was the reason he kept his secret from the human whose company had chased away his desires for no one but her, however; at least once a day, he found himself dreading the quickly fading summer. Each day that passed brought the fall season that much closer to the day that he would have to reveal all to her.

His brow scrunched together. Though he was normally a creature of decisiveness, this was one matter on which he'd been unable to come to a decision upon. Though it would be best to leave her here for a short time if he reverted back, in order to accommodate a human's presence in his fortress since not a single human had stepped foot within its walls since Rin died, it was not something he found agreeable. It was not that he couldn't go without her presence for a short time, but it was her proximity to her old village that bothered him. He'd made a calculating decision that day in the forest. He'd known then, that even against six untrained humans, he had a good chance of defeating them, but if he had, an entire village may come looking for revenge. While six was not an inconceivable win, an entire village, untrained or not, would be a different story entirely. So he decided to stay the wrath of many while letting a few, still dangerous men flee. He had no doubts that they hadn't seen the last of them and next time they met, they would probably be better equipped in both numbers and weaponry. If he left her here alone, he left open the possibility of her being harmed or even killed by those men. He was torn. Though he would not leave her for long, any amount of time seemed too much. Unfortunately, taking her with him immediately seemed just as poor a choice. There would be too many unknowns that he'd be returning home to for his comfort and her safety. Though he was fairly confident that a year's time was not enough for another to try and take what was his, his confidence was not a sure thing. He could very well return to the beginnings of a civil war, and then she'd be in worse danger there than if he left her here alone. While his indecisiveness was understandable, he still berated himself for not managing to come up with a better plan, but for now at least he did have some time to think it over more thoroughly.

He'd decided long ago that his feelings for the human were not likely to change. Though his body was different from his previous self, his impulses, desires and logical thought processes were all still as they had been. He saw no reason why going back to the old him would interfere with the devotion he felt towards this human. Besides, even if he no longer felt the attraction for her that he did now, it would not change the fact that he would forever be in her debt for saving his life. There would be no changing that little fact, human or youkai. Each day that passed, he regretted not being able to tell her the truth. Each moment of contentment he spent with her was unavoidably tainted by his knowledge that it would not last. He knew, deep down, that he would be youkai again someday soon and when he thought of telling her, of revealing his true self, his youkai self, he cringed.

Would she hate him? Most probably. Would she be able to forgive him? He had no idea but hoped with all of his being that it could possibly happen.


	17. Day Three Hundred Thirty

**Chapter Seventeen – Day Three Hundred Thirty**

"Ahhh!" Takana moaned out loudly. This was becoming quite a habit lately. They had been lovers for several months now and the precedent she'd set had stayed in place as they most often made love in the mornings. That wasn't to say that they didn't engage in the carnal activity at other times of the day as well but mornings were definitely a consistent time.

In the beginning, she had always been the one to initiate their love making after a few weeks, Shin began drop not too subtle hints. The first time he'd initiated was right in the middle of one of her training sessions. He'd been trying to teach her a more advanced move that involved brushing off an attackers grip and using their weight and momentum to throw them off balance and to the ground. She struggled with doing it correctly and was still struggling with it after several missed attempts. To this day, she wasn't sure what had set him off after unsuccessfully throwing him away from her, he followed through with his grab, spun her around so that her back was pressed up against his chest and latched his mouth to her neck. Things had gotten completely out of hand after that. Soon she was on her back with her skirt hoisted up around her waist and a very lusty Shin between her thighs doing ungodly pleasurable things to her, causing her to cry out his name repeatedly.

Since then, he seemed to have no problems letting her know when he wanted her. Sometimes she would sense the tension behind his desire and he would purposefully draw it out or sometimes he would literally attack her unexpectedly. She always accepted his advances with one exception and one that had actually caused her a great deal of embarrassment.

One night when they had both decided to go to bed, Shin slipped in next to her as they had decided after the first few weeks of being intimate with one another that they might as well sleep together as well, and began to lightly kiss the side of her neck. His tell tale sign that he wanted her. She could still see the confusion in his normally stoic features when she had pushed him away. She didn't want to tell him why she didn't want to do that but he'd asked.

"Have I done something to displease you?" He'd asked. Though his voice held no worry within his slightly furrowed brow gave him away.

"No." She'd said quickly, trying to immediately calm his worries. "It's just..." She trailed off and looked away feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.

"Just?" He prompted turning her to face him.

She fidgeted under his scrutiny and finally let out a slightly exasperated sigh. "I'm not clean right now." She looked at him and saw that the furrow in his brow only deepened. She knew that she would have to elaborate even though she desperately didn't want to. How many months had she been able to go through this without him even knowing about it and now she was going to have to spell it out for him. Suddenly she found herself wishing that they hadn't become intimate but the moment she thought it, she knew it was a hollow wish. "It's my monthly time."

"Time for what?" His brow maintained the same look.

Now she was actually annoyed. Was he being dense on purpose to make her feel foolish? "When I bleed." She huffed out and pulled herself out of his grasp. She didn't feel like being that close to him right now and suddenly wanted some tea. There was some left in the kettle by the fire so she decided to get away from him by busying herself with that.

Even after she'd gotten up and moved away from him, he'd still not understood until it dawned on him. Human females and their monthly breeding schedules, he'd completely forgotten about that until now. After all, it hadn't been a fact he'd ever needed to remember. Inuyoukai bitches tended to one go through that a few times a year at most but humans maintained a much more rigid and regular schedule. Then he did something he hadn't done in decades. He laughed.

Wrong move.

The other thing he remembered hearing about human females and this process was that they tended to have more potential to become a lot less rational during these times. Unfortunately for him, Takana did not take his small demonstration of mirth for the truly rare moment it was and instead took it for something else entirely. Only moments after letting loose the small chuckle, a small, empty wooden cup came very close to connecting with his skull. His eyes snapped up to meet her livid ones.

"There's nothing funny about it." She said in a deadly and embarrassed tone.

"I didn't say there was." He replied evenly.

"Then why would you laugh?" She questioned indignantly.

He stopped for a moment. He really couldn't tell her what he'd found amusing without tell her some rather sensitive information that he wasn't prepared to tell her yet so thinking quickly, he came up with another plausible excuse. "I still can't remember my name let alone the physical workings of the female body. I was just surprised that I had forgotten." It wasn't very good but he was not an adept liar and it was the best he could do on such short notice.

Her unstable emotional state became even more apparent when he actually saw the rage flood out of her eyes replace just as quickly as it left by self reproach. She quickly set the kettle down and scurried over to his still sitting form. "I'm sorry. I just...I don't like talking about it and I thought you were making fun of me." She finished her statement as she sat next to him.

He held in his sigh of relief that his words had been sufficient to calm her. "There is nothing for you to apologize for. I should have controlled myself better." When he saw her smile, he knew all was well again. "If such activities make you uncomfortable now, just let me know when they will no longer."

She had nodded her head in agreement and then decided that she really didn't want any tea.

Ever since that night, if she ever pushed his advances away, he immediately relented without a word, fully understanding the situation. This morning, she had not pushed his advances away and was in fact the one responsible for it all. His forehead was pressed against hers, his breathe coming in quick pants as he spent himself inside of her. They stayed locked like that for several long moments before she kissed him, signaling the end of their coupling for the morning. He rose, handed her a small cloth with which to clean herself and pulling on pants went to the fire pit to stock the low fire for the morning tea.

She watched him as he did this. It was a ritual that had been adopted soon after she came to him. If they coupled in the morning, he prepared the tea, if not, she did. She recalled once again the time she'd turned him away and it made her think. While he busied himself with tea, she threw her robe over her shoulders and walked to the area she used to carve. There, among the many projects she had in progress at the moment, was a stick with many small notches on it. She counted up the marks and frowned. She did it again to double check but her count had been correct the first time. There were too many notches. She should have been able to throw this stick away and she should not have started their amorous fun upon waking. She counted a third time but she already knew. She'd missed her time. Maybe she was late but she was _never_ late.

"Tea?" She heard his voice and spun to face him as though he had caught her doing something she ought not to be. She saw the puzzled look on his face but before he could ask if she was alright, she quickly set the stick down and got up.

"Of course." She put on a smile and took the steaming cup from his hands.

Sesshoumaru eyed her critically for a moment longer before turning to pour his own cup. He suddenly had the feeling that they were both keeping something from one another. He didn't press her as he was sure she would tell him if need be. After all, who would he be to complain? He of all people knew how important it was to keep some things quiet.


	18. Day Three Hundred Sixty Five

AN: Just to let you know, this is the chapter that spurred the whole story. I write different odd storylines and occasionally, I liked it so much, I decided to go with it. Just a little silly information for you.

**Chapter Eighteen - Day Three Sixty Five**

Sesshoumaru woke early that morning, far before his bedmate. Something wasn't right. Quietly, he pulled himself away from the sleeping woman and quickly dressed himself. Grabbing his sword and cloak, he slipped out of the hut and into the cool, crisp morning air. Nothing looked out of the ordinary but he couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. A light fog had moved in over the night and Sesshoumaru carefully made his way through the eerie gloom. After making a large circuit around the hut, he finally decided that there was, in fact, nothing wrong. He started to make his way back to curl up with his female once more when he heard a strange noise off to his left, inside the forest. Gripping his weapon once again, he moved off to investigate.

Though it was probably just a deer or some other creature making its way through the undergrowth early in the morning, he needed to make sure. The feeling was back with a vengeance now as he made his way deeper and deeper into the trees. After several moments of nothing, he glanced up ahead and thought he saw something. In the fog that had only grown denser since he stepped out of the hut, he couldn't be sure of what he'd seen but he move ahead towards the location it had been.

He squinted his eyes in an attempt to focus through the misty air and the moment he saw it, he knew. There, obscured by the trunks of several trees and the dense mist, was the same creature he'd seen a year before. Had it been a year already? He knew it was close but so soon? When he was close enough to make out its face, it nodded to him with a strangely sardonic smile and then vanished.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru felt as though he had just been pulled from underwater. Everything was heightened, all of his senses but he was not thinking of that at the moment. What was he going to do now?

"Shin, you're starting to scare me. Please let me see you!" She begged her lover that still kept his appearance covered by the cloak. He'd come back hours after sunrise and she had already begun to worry before that. Now that he refused to show himself to her, she became more than fearful of what might have happened to him. She didn't understand his sudden unnerving desire to hide himself. She couldn't fathom a good reason he should have to do it.

"You have to promise me something Takana."

"Anything just let me see you."

"You have to promise me that you'll stay calm."

"Ok."

"Promise me!" The strain in his voice was evident.

The longer he kept her from seeing him, the worse her fear of the unknown became. She was terrified that he was hurt but until he let her see him, there was nothing she could do but worry. She didn't understand what was wrong that would make him act in such an impossibly strange way.

"I promise." She heard him take a deep breath before he said one more thing.

"Do you trust me?" He whispered out.

"Of course I do, now please let me see."

There was another moment before nothing happened. Silence filled the little one room hut that had been their home for a year. He sighed, unable and unwilling to stop the sound from hitting her ears. What did he expect? He could only guess at her reaction and hoped for the best. He should have told her long ago, long before this day ever came to pass but now it was too late. Why he only realized that now, he couldn't fathom. With all the regret in the world, he let the cloak fall.

Takana just stared at first, frozen to her spot. It was too surreal. Who was this man...this creature? Brown eyes met radiant golden ones and the two stood there in stunned silence, both holding their breaths. Her expression was inscrutable, one he would have been hard pressed to duplicate. She saw the silver hair that should have been black, the golden eyes that should have been blue, the pale flesh that should have been tanned dark by the sun and the face that was her lover's but, at the same time, was not. It was him but at the same time, it was not. The only thing she recognized and the part that suddenly scared her most was the concern she saw in his eyes. That _was_ her Shin but how could this be, he looked like a...?

The eerie stillness of the moment was broken by her single step away from him. He closed his eyes in unconcealed pain when he saw and scented her fear.

"Takana..." His voice was pleading as he reopened his eyes and took a tenative step in her direction.

"No." She whispered out, something so low that yesterday he would not have been able to make it out. "No." She said again, a little louder and she looked up into his eyes. "Who are you?" She was shaking now.

"I'm the same man you thought I was a moment ago." He tried to make his voice calm but it was edged in worry and hesitation.

"No." She looked at his clawed hand that was pleadingly reaching towards her. She flinched away when it came near. "You're a youkai!" She cried in disbelief, her fear redoubling. Her eyes flashed back to his face and rested on the crescent moon that delicately proclaimed his status. "Y-you're a tai..." She breathed out.

"Yes...but" He clenched his hand when she pulled out of his reach. She was still steadily backing away from the situation and him. Confusion and fear still the dominant emotions he sensed pouring off of her.

"Stay away from me!" She screamed at him and turned to flee. It was a poor choice of actions. Never turn you back on a youkai and flee, even one that loves you.

His slow hesitancy dissolved in an instant as primal instinct took over. He was on her in an instant, unaccustomed to his regained speed and strength; he slammed her into the wall, caging her between his body and the exterior wall. He immediately regained his composure before he growled at her and mentally smacked himself for his momentary loss of control. He searched his mind desperately for what he should do next to make this all better again. The smell of her fear sickened him. He wanted to see her smile again, to hear her laughter and quick wit. He wanted her to understand that he didn't ever want to hurt her, that he loved her and would always protect her but even as he thought though the words, they sounded hollow and unworthy for her.

Takana yelped and tried to regain the breath that had just been knocked out of her. She stood stock still for a moment, dazed by the quickness of the move and the steel force behind it. A horrible sense of deja vu settled over her. She had felt this kind of power once before and again it made her feel small, helpless and absolutely terrified. Another silence settled over them. All Takana could see was a veil of silver hair and alabaster skin.

"Let me go." She whispered.

"No, not until you understand." His breath brushed over her ear.

"Understand what, that you tricked me, that you lied to me? What else is there to understand?" She whimpered.

He clenched his eyes shut. "I never meant to lie to you."

"Liar." She choked out. "What kind of sick creature are you? How could you play such a cruel game with me?"

"None of this was a game." He said, pulling away from her when he believed she wouldn't try and run again. He was afraid of himself at the moment. His body, after a year spent as a human, was proving difficult to control, he was out of practice.

"What would a mighty taiyoukai want with a worthless castaway like me?" Tears started to slowly drip from her eyes as her world came crashing down around her. She should have known that it was too good to be true. Everything had been so perfect, she had finally started to believe that she wasn't cursed, that she would have a happy life but now...that was gone. It felt like nothing more than a beautiful dream that she had been viciously awakened from without her permission. "You pretended to be human..."

"No, I _was_ human." She shot him an icy look and a choked out laugh that held no humor. "You must believe me, it's the truth; I was cursed and left to be human for a year. I was attacked and left for dead until you found me. I truly didn't remember anything in the beginning." He was still pleading with her; he needed her to understand, to believe him like he'd never needed anything in his life.

"But in the end?" She was still barely whispering out her words and standing absolutely still, too stunned to do anything else at the moment. She stared at the floor between their feet, unwilling to look at the unusual eyes that should have been blue rather than a stunning golden.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. Yes, he'd fucked up and now he was paying the price for his cowardice and indecision.

"Please..." It was a word he only used with this woman but his pride didn't matter right now. All that mattered was her.

"Shi...oh my god that isn't even your..." Her eyes shot back up to his. "Who are you?"

He closed his eyes again for a moment before choosing his words carefully. "I'm...I'm the man whose life you saved, who saved yours."

She seemed unphased by his words, defiance and anger boiling up in her eyes, replacing the fear she'd felt earlier.

"Who...are...you?" She ground out between clenched teeth.

"My name is Sesshoumaru."

Her eyes opened wide again in astonishment. "The lord of the Western Lands..." She breathed out.

He shook his head to confirm what she already knew. He reached out her once again to lightly touch her face. Before he could feel the silkiness of her skin, his hand was roughly smacked away and her hand didn't stop until it solidly struck the side of his face. Her anger bubbled to the surface as the humiliation she perceived in the situation sunk in. He had used her, toyed with her, and made her love him, all for his sick amusement. It didn't matter that she had just struck probably the most powerful youkai in all the lands, it didn't matter that she knew full well that he could tear her apart with no effort at all. All that mattered was the pain in her chest, the pain of her heart being torn apart more fiercely than it ever had been before. Suddenly she hated him, what he'd made her believe, made her feel and made her hope for. She had been fine in her little world. She had been alone but it had become a constant in her life she could handle but this...this humiliation, this new meaning for the word torment, made her hate him with all of her being.

"Don't you dare touch me you bastard!" She yelled at him and suddenly her body sprang to action once again, intent on getting away from the humiliation of being anywhere near him.

He responded immediately. She didn't get more than a few inches away from him before he roughly pushed her back up against the wall. Now she fought him. She managed to hit him again with the same hand as her legs attempted to make contact with whatever part of his body that she could. Sesshoumaru felt himself loosing control yet again and grabbed her roughly by the neck with one hand while his other attempted to capture the hand that had managed to land yet another blow to his person. He quickly found it and subdued it against the wall next to her head. He pressed himself completely against her to quiet her furious legs but that still left a second hand to contend with. He found it suddenly lodged in his hair, trying to pull him away from her by it. He instinctively snarled at the woman, baring his fangs to her in an attempt to gain her submission but it had no effect.

Takana felt his hot breath against her and heard what should have been a terrifying sound issue from his lips but she was too incensed to pay either any heed. She gave his hair another firm tug, all she had left to do but it again had absolutely no effect on the creature that she loved so desperately and now hated so deeply.

He felt her pull again and his eyes met hers, now hoping to stare her down but the moment he saw her eyes shimmering with unshed tears and lit up with fury, something snapped within him. He crushed his lips against hers in the most punishing yet passion filled kiss he had ever delivered.

Takana's eyes clamped shut, in a feeble attempt to deny him something but she failed utterly. She was only able to resist him for a split second before returning the kiss with the same amount of passion. As misdirected at it may have seemed, her body burned for him. In its confusion, it mistook her fury and his domination for the highly charged sexual inferno it had just become.

Sesshoumaru relinquished his hold on her wrist in favor of freeing his hand in order to hike her skirt up and over her hips. His movements were not the calm practiced ones of an experienced lover but the jerky, needy movement of a man possessed by the need to utterly consume. His other hand slipped up from her neck to her jaw so he could completely control all of her movement.

With her other hand released, it joined its mate in the hair of the beast in front of her. She offered no resistance when he picked her up under her buttocks and practically dropped her onto the closest table available. She spread her legs of her own will when he stepped back enough only to release the ties of his pants with one hand as the other continued to hold her, never breaking their mouths away from one another.

It was only a moment after being deposited on the table and spreading her legs that she felt him press back up against her and only a split second later that he forced his entire length inside her. She cried out, not in pain or even in pleasure but a strange mix of both. He gave her no chance to recover as he immediately pulled himself nearly all the way out before ramming back within her. Every thrust he delivered caused both of their bodies to jar against the table. It wasn't long before whatever had been sitting on the surface of the table went crashing to the floor, unable to maintain its position.

Without warning, Sesshoumaru broke away from her mouth for the first time since this insanity all began and roughly pushed her onto her back. The hand that had controlled the movement of her mouth once again found its way to her neck. It didn't apply any pressure at all, just held her there so she could not rise again as she had been. His other hand moved from her hip to rip away the fabric that was aggravatingly keeping her body from him.

Takana lay on her back and cried out at each brutal thrust. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she moaned when his mouth latched onto a hardened nipple.

This wasn't making love and it wasn't fucking; it was something else entirely. It was both a desperate plea for forgiveness and an act of brutal domination. It asked both for love and hate. The act was so contradicting simply by its passionate and brutal nature that neither creature engaged could have described it even if they had wanted to or tried.

Sesshoumaru's thrusts started to become more erratic as he brought his forehead up to rest against hers. Only a few strokes later, he shoved into her one last time and spilled his demonic seed inside the woman that had ensnared him more completely and changed him more thoroughly than any curse ever could.

They both lay there panting for several long, strained seconds before Sesshoumaru pulled himself off her and released her from his hold. He stood there, still breathing heavily as she sat up. She finally brought her eyes up to meet his. He could easily see the disgust in them but where it was directed, he couldn't tell. The one thing he did know was that it broke his heart to see her like that.

"Takana..." He whispered and attempted to touch her still flushed cheek. She brushed his touch away again and pushed against him. This time he relented, his beast still too satisfied by the release it had just been given to react to her defiance again. He moved out of her and slightly way as she got off the table onto uncooperative wobbly legs. She pushed past him and shrugged off the hand that lightly gripped her upper arm. He watched as she grabbed her bathing robe, throwing it over her now ruined dress and left the small hut that had once been their happy home.

She had been gone for several minutes before he stopped staring at the doorway she had just exited. He turned and bent over the table, leaning his weight onto his hands. How was he going to fix this? She hated him and he didn't blame her. What had just passed between them had solved nothing and only compounded matters further. How could he fix this if he couldn't even control himself enough to make her understand? He would loose her and worse, he had just broken a creature that had been broken so many times, it was doubtful if she could ever truly recover. She had already been through so much in her young life. She'd been so careful to keep herself safe from pain and now, he had just delivered her back into the world from which she had fought so hard to escape.

The sound of snapping wood brought him back out of his depressing thoughts. He looked down to find the now roughly gouged and nearly ruined table. A pathetically embarrassing whine escaped his lips as he slumped to the floor. The creature had placed no curse on him. He had been cursed for far longer that that. It seemed anything he touched, no matter how precious to him, crumbled in his hands.


	19. Necessary Choices

**Chapter Nineteen – Necessary Choices**

It was easy to find her. Now that he was possessed of his old abilities, he could easily track her down by her scent. After all, he was covered in it from his loss of control through his sexual domination of her only hours ago. Also, the scent of her tears was quite easy to follow as well. He found her sitting by the river, staring across at it and hugging her bathing robe to herself as she clutched her arms around her knees. He let his presence be known by walking loudly as a human would and not with a youkai's stealth. He wanted her to hear him. She'd had enough surprises for one day that he believed sneaking up on her would not help their situation in the least.

He wasn't sure what to do, even after hours of thought and meditation. He needed to get back to his fortress and assess the damage that a year's worth of absence had caused, very little he hoped. On the other hand, he did not want to leave her alone. Even though she had survived for almost four years all on her own, he was unwilling to take the chance that in his absence, something terrible could happen to her. The day they went to collect wood came to mind and of the men that would have violated her had he not been there to stop them. However, it was equally as dangerous to take her back with him considering the uncertainty he faced at the prospect of returning to the fortress after such a long sabbatical. And to top it all off, he had no idea how she now felt about all of this other than the fact that she had not taken this turn of events very well. In retrospect he would have been amazed if she had.

"How long have you known?"

He was taken off guard by the question and the break from his internal thoughts. It took him a moment to collect himself enough to answer. "Since the middle of winter, the day you served me cold stew and called me 'my lord'."

"Since then?"

"Yes."

"You had known all that time and you didn't tell me. Why?" She sounded angry and it matched the emotion that fell off her in waves.

"I did not think it was the right time. I was still human despite what I remembered and there was still half the year until I was returned to my present form and even then, I was not sure that who did this to me would keep their word." He seemed to be stumbling over his words so he sighed and put it simply. "I thought it unwise."

"But bedding me was wise?" She hissed out. She was still looking across the water, refusing to look at him.

He sighed and looked to the side. "I did not plan it."

"You did not plan it? What, was it some kind of accident that you just couldn't avoid?" He could sense her anger increasing now as it quickly replaced the depression she had been wallowing in.

"I..." But he had no real response to her question.

"Leave." The command was simple and direct but he had no intention of obeying it.

"No."

She turned her head to look at him after his refusal. "You will leave me alone." She hissed at him as she stood.

"No, I will not." How quickly he slipped back into old patterns of speech. Saying as little as possible and making the one he was speaking with guess as to his full thoughts on the matter.

"I owe you nothing, so nothing should keep you here. You've had your fun, now just go and let me be."

"Your right, you owe me nothing but there is something that keeps me here." He took a step towards her and saw every muscle in her body tense. "None of this was done in jest. All of my actions have been honest, even if I failed to tell you of my origins when I remembered them."

"Honest is not a word you're allowed to use with me. Nothing about what you did was honest. Don't you dare try and convince me otherwise. Just leave me be and go back to wherever you belong because it is not here." She turned back to the river, an obvious dismissal of his presence.

Sesshoumaru's brow was a mass of knots. He wouldn't leave her. He came to a final conclusion. He had to return of his fortress and he could not leave her alone so as a matter of simple deduction, he would have to take her with him and be very cautious about making her presence known at first. There were people he could entrust her to while he smoothed over any problems that might have taken place while he was away.

"I will go back to where I belong but you will be going with me."

She spun on him, her face filled with righteous indignation. "I am not going to go anywhere with you."

Sesshoumaru looked off to the side and into the distance. He hated doing this but he didn't have time to convince her. His explanations would have to be made later. "You would be unable to stop me."

Takana jumped up from her position and angrily stalked over to the creature she should be terrified of but all that came to mind was the near mortally wounded man she had nursed back to health and then fallen in love with only to them have him lie to her in the most horrible way.

"You do not own me. I am not your wife or mate or whatever you call them. I saved your life and you repaid me my ruining mine. I am not going anywhere with you, do you understand. If you so much as touch me, by the gods, I will... I can't hurt you but I can make you dead to me. Now I just hate you but if you get anywhere near me, it will be as though you never existed and I will think on you no more!" She finished in a somewhat hoarse yell. She stopped just in front of him, breathing heavily from the rage and hurt that was draining away her vitality.

Sesshoumaru had not looked at her the entire time she spoke and had closed his eyes at her decree of making him dead to her. It hurt more than he would ever admit, even to himself because that's exactly what would have to happen in order to make sure she was safe. He was right, he was going to lose her but he would protect her whether she liked it or not.

"Then I have died and you have killed me."


	20. Homecoming

**Chapter Twenty - Homecoming**

"Wait here." Sesshoumaru said quietly to the woman who had refused to even look at him since they left her small hut that morning. He waited for some type of response from her but she stayed silent, her eyes cast to the night sky. He looked at her for a moment longer, his brow furrowed in consternation. He needed to leave her here, alone for a few moments and though he didn't think she would go anywhere, he couldn't be sure of her actions at the moment. With a resigned sigh, he took the chance and stole away to the gates of his fortress.

Takana just stood there. She tried so hard to just block out everything that was happening to her but every time she heard his voice, it made it almost impossible. What had happened to her happy life? How could this be happening? One moment, she had been wrapped in the warmth of having everything she ever thought she'd wanted. She had a warm home, a loving man and the prospect at a happy future but now… Now she was standing just outside of the fortress to the most feared youkai in all the lands. The Lord of the Western Lands was her lover and it now seemed she was doomed to live a life that she never asked for or even dreamed. Her father had been right all along.

She was a youkai's whore.

She kept staring at the stars, the only constant in her tumultuous life. She didn't hear him leave though she knew when he was gone.

Sesshoumaru easily made his way into the fortress amidst a few gasps from the subjects he crossed paths with. Apparently his absence had been expected to continue. He headed immediately for not his rooms but those of one he trusted. He made his way to the officer's quarters and headed directly for the set of doors that were at the end of the east wing. He was thankful for the lateness of the night as it minimized the number of people that realized he had returned. Even with this helpful factor, he still had no doubts that word of his return would be well known among the majority of his populace within the hour.

He had not been planned to return now. He and Takana should have arrived by noon but, he had to first make a stop and retrieve his swords, Tokajin and Tensagia. Once he arrived at the location of his transformation, he spent fruitless hours searching for the now lost blades. Surprisingly, Takana had not been a hindrance to quick travel in the least as she simply stood where he placed her. She had not spoken a single word or reacted to anything around them. Instead she just stared to the horizon or to the ground in empty solitude. It was almost as though he were not even there and he found himself wishing she'd put a fight. Anything was preferable to this silent torture she was now putting him through.

When he reached his destination, he skipped the polite knocking and immediately slid open the door and let himself. He immediately headed for the sleeping chamber.

"Yuti, come with me right now." A head popped up from the large futon but it was not the one he'd expected to see.

"Who...MY LORD! You're back!"

Realizing his mistake and mentally berating himself for not scenting the room first, skipped past any conversation and got right to the point. "Where's Yuti? Why is she not in these quarters?"

"She'd be in General Tomo's quarters my Lord." The young female was now standing but bowing slightly as she answered each question to the ground. This was the most unexpected thing to ever happen in her whole life. She'd only taken on the room a month ago and although she expected the occasional misinformed person to come looking for the previous occupant, she would never have thought to be wakened by the Lord of the Western Lands.

"Tomo's?" He asked, unable to conceal his confusion.

"Yes my Lord, They were mated and have since shared quarters." She replied as quickly as she could. She waited for more but when nothing else was asked, she chanced a peek up at the lord she'd served for the last sixty years of her life but saw nothing but empty dark room. He'd left.

This time Sesshoumaru stopped and scented the doors before entering. Though it wasn't an unexpected move by the pair, he was surprised they would go through a mating in his absence. Right now he had more important things on his mind. He would deal with that later but at the moment, he had a helpless human female alone outside the fortress walls. Time was of the essence.

"Yuti!" He yelled as he entered the chambers. He gave the warning because he had no desire to walk in on a recently mated couple in their bed chambers. "Come out here now, you and only you. Tomo, stay where you are until your mate returns."

He only had to wait a minute before a hastily dressed and astonished looking female inuyoukai appeared from Tomo's bed chamber.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what's happened while you've been gone?" She sounded like she was chastising him and if Sesshoumaru knew her well enough, she was.

"You mean generals becoming mated to one another without my blessing. I can only imagine but I am not firstly concerned with that at the moment. Come with me and do not speak another word until we arrive at our destination."

Though she looked confused and a little perturbed, she bowed lightly and followed quietly and obediently.

Yuti was about to break her pledged silence but was stunned back into silence when they reached a clearing that contained a lone human female. If her nose had not already told her of the truth, she never would have believed it. The woman smelled strongly of Sess and mildly of a human. To say that Yuti was astonished by the turn of events would have been the understatement of the age.

"What the fuck is going on Sess." He threw her a glare but only for a moment. Then all of his attention returned to Takana who had turned abruptly, startled by the outburst of the new female.

"This is Takana. I am entrusting her safety to you until I am able to determine just what has happened while I have been gone. Her life is yours, guard it well." He looked at Takana who had looked at him momentarily before remembering herself and her pact. She then looked back to the stars and tried to fight off the fear that was now redoubling at being in the presence of yet another youkai. She did her best not to let it show but both youkai present could easily sense it. Sesshoumaru could do nothing but sigh. "I must go for now. Guard her with your life and place her in my rooms for now." He looked at Takana for a moment longer with eyes full of regret and sorrow before heading off to find out exactly what had happened in his absence. "I'll inform you of the situation later."

Yuti was dumbfounded. Of all the things that were likely to happen upon her lord's return, this was not something she would have ever imagined. She then turned her attention from the area he'd departed to the human woman that was obviously upset but, trying desperately to conceal it. Yuti was in uncharted waters with this one and she immediately wondered why Sess had chosen her for this particular detail. Perhaps because she was female. It was the only logical explanation she could come up with at the moment. No matter why, she had to deal with the situation now and it was obvious that it was to be kept quiet. She steeled herself against the unknown and spoke.

"My name is Yuti. I'm one of Lord Sesshoumaru's generals." She watched as the human turned her attention away from the sky and then to her. She looked frightened and lost, immediately Yuti felt sorry for the creature. She doubted that coming here had been her choice and that only confused the youkai further. After a moment of regarding one another, Takana gave a small laugh and turned her attention back to the night sky.

"My name is Takana. I'm one of Lord Sesshoumaru's whores."


	21. The Year in Review

AN: Wow, what can I say but sorry for the _extremely_ long wait. Sometimes real life interrupts my fantasy life. I'll try to start updating regularly again but please bear with me. I will stress that even though it may seem like I'm not going to finish at times, I always will. If a story never gets finished then it's a pretty sure bet that I'm dead or in a coma. Since I don't plan on letting either of those happen, it will eventually come to an end. Also, I've created something of a convoluted plot here and it's going to take me some time to figure out how I'm going to get from point A (already written) to point C (already written). It's that damn point B in the middle that's giving me indigestion. Thanks to everyone who's stayed with this and I hope you enjoy this long overdue installment.

Chapter Twenty One – The Year in Review

Yuti maintained her vigilance over the fitfully sleeping human. Getting her into the castle unseen had been a bit tricky but fortunately the human had been nothing but quiet. She didn't say anything and obediently followed all directions given. Once they arrived they entered the rarely used private quarters of her lord, Yuti was at a complete loss as to what to do next. Any attempt at conversation had been ignored by the disquieting woman. Finally, she just decided to sit and watch over the pathetic creature. She would have to pry answers out of the stoic lord, as this human was surprisingly less forthcoming with information than even he was.

Sesshoumaru was seated at a large table, which was littered with documents that would require his immediate review. The stack was imposing and though he normally dreaded such things, this time he looked forward to it. It would be vital in his education over the past year.

His head general stood in a stance of agitation across the table at which he was seated. Tomo had spent the last two hours trying to give an accurate description on the more important goings on of the past year within and out of the Western Lands. It had quickly become obvious that his master was completely ignorant of the state of things. It seemed as though he had just fallen off the face of the earth only to suddenly reappear one year later..

"I didn't even need to be told that Loki had was stirring up discontent during my absence, such an occurrence is hardly surprising."

Tomo wished he could just laugh at the all too accurate statement. It was true, that rat of a lord who never should have attained such a title in the first place was always the instigator of trouble. Unfortunately, this time it was not the easily quashed problem that it had been in the past. This time was different.

"I couldn't agree with you more my lord but there have been other troubling circumstances that have arisen in your absence. It seems that Loki has begun to catch the ear of others beside just his own subordinates this time."

Sesshoumaru looked up from the stack of papers to his general, trying his hardest to remain solidly focused on the important matters at hand. He felt like a pup again with his easily wandering mind. He'd managed to conquer it once but he now found he'd regressed in the ability. He would attempt to deal with the situation that _she_ presented as soon as he had a full understanding of the events and problems that had occurred within his lands in the last year.

"What type of nuisance is he presenting this time?"

Tomo's brow creased. He disliked only giving partial answers to his lord but at the moment a partial answer was all he had. "Nothing concrete my lord but during your absence he began preaching openly that changes needed to be made. He never said anything overtly mutinous but he said it eloquently enough that many of your usually loyal lords began to turn an ear toward him instead of turning their back as they normally do." He paused a moment before continuing when Sesshoumaru made no move to quiet him. "The unrest I reported with the Northern border, the disputes over holdings within the West amongst some of your lords, your lack of an heir apparent and your extended absence have all weighed heavily in making many of your loyal subjects nervous about the future strength of this land. The combined circumstances have allowed a garrulous fool like Loki to burrow into the minds of the weaker lords."

Sesshoumaru said nothing. He would have to ruminate on the current situation before taking any definitive action. If all Tomo was telling him was accurate, as it most assuredly was, then moving carefully through the political scene at the moment would require a great deal of finesse. He could not afford to have his lords split over his ability to lead them. He may be a powerful youkai in his own right but he was not a god that could do anything he pleased. He needed the backing of powerful men to rule successfully especially without the added measures of the now lost Tokijin and Tensaiga to lend strength to his position.

Though no one knew yet of the two swords' absence, it did not mean that it would not be realized soon enough. After all, he was rarely seen without them. To suddenly not have them at all after such a long absence would be recognized almost immediately. He'd be surprised if Tomo hadn't already noticed. It also presented an added complication. How would it be seen? He disappears for a year, leaving his lands in unrest and then coming back without his greatest symbols of power. He already knew how it would be perceived. Weakness. It was unacceptable and he would have to find a way to end it as quickly as possible.

After a long moment of silence between the youkai lord and his top general, the silence was finally broken. "Now if I may be so bold my lord but where the hell have you been for the past year. Jaken came back with Ahun one day saying you had simply not returned from a routine patrol. I had to practically beat the little toad to death to keep him from moaning about how you must have met some gruesome demise."

Sesshoumaru raised a single eyebrow. So his retainer had lost faith in him so easily. Truly though, he wasn't surprised in the least. It wasn't because of the little toad's faith that he kept him around, rather his undying sense of loyalty. The little toad probably tried to commit suicide to follow his master into the land of the dead.

"Then the little idiot tried to commit oibara since he believed you had left this life for the next."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in mild annoyance, predictable little twit. "Well, as you can see, I did not die."

Tomo just gave him a guarded but obviously annoyed look. He was much better at staying within the character of loyal subject and subordinate than his new mate ever had been or currently was. Yuti had always had a boldness that no other could rival. She had even stood up to his great and terrible father when the two had been children. Not even the young lord had possessed the courage or the stupidity for such a foolish move against his father. Despite the consequences of that blunder, Yuti had not been sufficiently cured of her bull headedness. She had wizened up since then however as she'd learned when such behavior would be tolerated and when it would not.

"The reasons for my absence and my return are, for the moment, none of your concern. Just know that it was beyond my ability to return and had I done so, the consequences would have been far more disastrous than my prolonged disappearance."

Though unsatisfied with the answer, Tomo knew better than to press his master. Where most could not differentiate between one stoic countenance of his lord and the next, Tomo had learned long ago the subtle differences. At the moment, Sesshoumaru would be unmovable on the subject.

"Then may I ask a different question my lord?"

Sesshoumaru inclined his head to continue as he returned his attention to the papers on his desk.

"With what mission did you entrust Yuti before retrieving me?" Tomo immediately noticed the way in which all of his lord's actions simply stopped. Whatever it was, it had to be very important to affect the great youkai in such a way.

"She's attending to a personal matter of mine at the moment." He then stopped as if in mid thought. He simply didn't know how to deal with that part of his return at the moment. The more that Tomo had told him about the current state of things, the less Sesshoumaru had felt secure in his decision to bring Takana here. With Loki causing all different sorts of problems at the moment, the foolish lord would undoubtedly make quite a spectacle of his brining a human female back to the fortress. Though it had taken place over a hundred years ago, the acts of his father were still forefront in the minds of many in the Western Lands.

His father's taking of a human directly led both to his death and the bloody civil war that had followed in the absence of his leadership. It had taken a great deal of luck for his young son to overcome the uprising and bring the lands back under some semblance of order. In the early days, many had tried to take advantage of his young age and lack of experience. If it hadn't been for a few key supporters that had the best interests of the West in mind, it is a fair bet that it would have fallen apart only to be slowly picked apart by the surrounding stronger lands.

Sesshoumaru was pulled out of the past by his general's persistence. "Is it a matter that I will be enlightened to or will I be kept in the dark on this subject as well?" Sesshoumaru then did something that actually surprised the hell out of Tomo, he sighed visibly and audibly. It was the type of sigh that made Tomo believe that his lord was actually unsure of what to do, something he had not seen in many, many decades.

"No, you will not be kept in the dark. In fact, I'm going to need your advice on how to proceed." With that said, Sesshoumaru stood. "Come, there is someone you will need to meet first."


	22. Observations

Chapter Twenty Two – Observations

Yuti yawned. It didn't matter that this was the strangest thing she'd ever been apart of, watching a human sleep just wasn't a very exciting occupation. She hadn't moved since she fell asleep on her stomach several hours ago except to twitch her arm or leg occasionally.

"Who are you?" She asked quietly to herself even though she knew she would only be met with silence from her charge. Strangely enough, it wasn't silence that answered her. At just that moment, she heard the distinct sound of two people approaching the rooms and she knew exactly to whom the two sets of boots belonged. A few moments later, both her mate and her lord slipped quietly into the room. Both men nodded in her direction as they made their way over to the sleeping human.

It was then that Yuti noticed something. She had been so absorbed in the return of Sess and his unexpected companion that she hadn't taken the time to really look at the lord himself. There was a great deal about him that was different. Some of it was easy to spot. First, the cloths he wore. They were not of a youkai design and nor were they fit for the position he held. They were the cloths of human peasants. Next was his hair. The once calf length, silver mane now only fell to his mid back and made the youkai appear even younger than he already did. And finally, the expression on his face the moment he came near the human. It wasn't distant and stoic, instead it seemed to hold a thousand expressions all at once. The funny thing of it was, even now it was a difficult expression to read despite the multitude of emotions etched into it, as though they all cancelled one another out.

Yuti drew her attention away from her lord and laid them squarely on her mate. What she saw made her want to laugh out loud. She kept herself in check as she realized both the inconvenience it would cause in waking the human and that she probably bore a very similar expression when she first laid eyes on her. He just stared at the figure and though he couldn't see most of her due to the position in which she slept, she knew full well that he was aware of her all too human heritage, any youkai would have been able to. She smelled like one, breathed like one and cast the simple aura of one.

After the shock of the moment passed, Sesshoumaru motioned to both of his generals to follow him back into the hall. He had no desire to wake her. She had been through so much in the last day and a half. The sleep would do her good and perhaps she would be easier to deal with after she was rested. He doubted it but he held out hope for the possibility anyway. Once they were outside, he spoke.

"For the moment, I believe it would be best to keep her presence a secret in light of the current situation of the Western Lands." He looked at both of his generals in turn and didn't say anything else for a moment. The pause was awkward until Tomo and Yuti realized that he was waiting for their opinions. Both were caught off guard. Though it had been a year, they were not used to their lord asking for their thoughts often on matters such as this or anything else for that matter.

The three discussed the best approach both to his return and how to handle the unusual situation of the human he'd brought with him. Though he'd said very little to the effect, Yuti and Tomo understood clearly that sending the human away was simply not an option though neither knew the reasoning behind the desire. After a time discussing the pros and cons, they decided that playing down his return would be the best. Make it appear that his absence had not been anything truly worthy of notice. That way his detractors would have less ground to stand on if any of them decided to make any kind of fuss over the incident.

All three heard when the human cried out from within the bedroom. All three heads turned.

"We will finish this discussion in the morning." Sesshoumaru stated, effectively ending the conversation for the night. Yuti and Tomo both bowed and turned to leave as their lord slipped back into his rooms. They exchanged glances at one another as they made their way back to their bed. Their lord Sesshoumaru had awakened them to a reality that was far stranger than any dream they could have even imagined having.

With the discussions outside his door finished, Sesshoumaru soundlessly slipped inside his chamber and to the human woman inside. After hearing unintelligible scream only moments before, he fully expected to find her awake and brandishing some sort of weapon. What he found was quite the opposite. Instead, he found her fast asleep but thrashing fitfully as though caught in some unseen creatures grasp. He'd seen another human act just like this some years ago. He recognized a nightmare now when he saw it. He quickly but quietly made his way to the bed. Her agitation seemed to almost completely go away when he gently placed his hand on her flushed cheek. Almost as though she were physically drawing comfort from his touch, she turned her face into his caress.

He stood there for several long moments wondering if she might wake but when her countenance finally turned back to that of someone peacefully asleep, he knew she would not. It was a small measure of comfort to him that at least in sleep, she did not ignore him. As carefully as he could so as not to disturb her, Sesshoumaru slipped into the bed and wrapped his body around hers. The slumbering Takana easily nuzzled into the warmth and protection he provided. He couldn't help but sigh. With everything going on around him, the difficulties that lay ahead in his leadership of the Western Lands and with his relationship with Takana, he was content to simply hold her. He knew it would not last and willed the night to last forever. The coming dawn was bringing more with it than simply a new day but a daunting variety of obstacles he would be forced to face and overcome.

AN: Sorry for the very short chapter but even though it's not much and doesn't seem very complicated (even to me when I read it) it was a pain in the ass to write. I know you are all looking forward to some more Sess/Takana interaction, so am I, and I promise that there will be some in the next chapter. I've decided that convoluted plots are tough. What was I thinking? After this, it's back to PWP. What can I say, I'm feeling lazy.


	23. Why?

Chapter Twenty Three – Why?

And the dawn did come.

Sesshoumaru lay there quietly, doing everything in his power to allow the human woman that slept next to him to continue as she was for a long as she could. He would have stopped the sun in its journey up the sky if he could have. Soon the first rays of dawn slipped past the columns of ancient wood and stone that made up outer walls of the fortress and calmly made their way in through the open archway to the Lord of the Western Lands' private rooms as they routinely did. Today though, it seemed that they took extra care when curling up onto the futon that, this morning held two occupants, one quietly sleeping and the other keeping close watch on the first. When her breathing began to change and her heart rate slowly rose, he knew that the inevitable would soon come to pass. He held his breath as she took hers.

She felt warm and very comfortable and for that she smile lazily, keeping her eyes closed in an attempt to hold onto the groggy heaven for just a little bit longer. One hand stretched out languidly to wake up the muscles still sleeping within. The slow movement suddenly came to a stop however when it touched silk where simple cloth should have been. It was then that she remembered and then that she knew she was not in the home she had made for herself and the home that she'd hoped someone else would make theirs. She knew he was there, beside her, like he had been on so many mornings before this one and that's exactly why she kept them closed. She didn't want to see him as he was now but instead remember what it was that she had originally come to know him as. The man she'd saved and the man she'd grown to love.

Several minutes passed before she found the courage to speak.

"This is to be my prison now?"

Sesshoumaru was surprised but overjoyed to hear her speak even if the words were not positive in nature.

"No, it is not your prison."

"Then I can go home." She heard him take a breath before answering, he sounded worn.

"No."

"Then this _is_ my prison."

A long silence followed and only the quiet breath of the human could be heard.

She remained as calm as she could. She remembered yesterday all too clearly. She had been hysterical and rash though she didn't blame herself for her behavior in the least. She took a deep breath before continuing. She needed to know what was going to happen to her now. He needed to tell her.

"Why did you bring me here?" Her eyes were still closed.

"For your protection, it was no longer safe for you to remain where you were, alone."

"I can take care of myself." She quipped back. She didn't like this demon telling her that she needed protecting. She'd done just fine for years before he came. She would do just fine again without him.

"Like you took care of yourself that day the men attacked you?" He didn't say it for cruelty but in order to make a very valid point. Takana didn't see it his way however. Her eyes snapped open at his words to glare at the youkai that was far to close to her for her comfort.

"You bastard, how dare you!" She spat as she quickly sat up and scooted away from him.

It was his turn to close his eyes. "Do you deny that you were in danger that day, or the day of the storm or the day you returned to your former village?"

"T-that's...that's...I..." She sputtered.

"Those men that would have hurt you the first time were the same the second. Do you think their actions were those of men who would forget? How long till they found your little hut?" His voice was stern but he did not attempt to keep her next to him. He had learned from yesterday's mistake and held back his first instincts to pull her back and force her to understand. She was not some inu bitch; she was human and as such would have to be handled in ways that his instincts would not understand.

"I suspect they already knew. I brought you here to protect you because I will not see any harm done to you."

"Like the harm you've already done to me?" She spat again. Her anger was apparent but there was not hysteria as there had been the day before. This was just cold, hard anger. He wasn't sure what he preferred at this point.

He sighed, exasperated. Was she purposely trying to goad him into acting? He had never excelled at words; actions were his more common approach. Her words though were making it difficult. He stood from the bed as well but did not approach her. He did however; consciously place himself between her person and the bedchamber doors. She would stay and she would understand. Before anything else could be done, she needed to realize what had happened.

"I will not repeat myself a third time so listen. Any 'harm' you have suffered due to me was unintentional. It was the last thing this Sesshoumaru ever wanted."

"Then why did '_this Sesshoumaru'_ lie to me?" She asked derisively. "If you cared so much, why would you keep me in the dark about something so important?" She was breathing heavily but managing to maintain some of her calm, even if it was a forced one. He kept his distance and it helped.

"Would you have believed me?" She didn't answer as she looked to the floor in front of her feet so he continued. "And if you had by some miracle believed that the human you found almost dead was indeed the Taiyoukai of the Western Lands, how would you have reacted. Your past with my kind had not been a pleasant one." Again silence. "I could not tell you. I could not chance that you would throw what you believed to be either a lunatic human or a soon to be youkai lord to the snows of winter."

She finally looked at him, a tear trickling down her face.

"You hurt me." She whispered to him, unwilling and unable to respond to either his questions or his logic.

"I know." He sounded almost pitiful.

She turned her head to look out the balcony opening. "You really didn't know who you were in the beginning?"

"No."

She looked back at him. "You didn't do it to toy with a human?"

"Never."

"Then tell me why." When he didn't answer and a hint of consternation crossed his features, she clarified. "Why were you human?" She saw him sigh.

"It is difficult to explain." He was surprised when she laughed. There was no mirth in it but it was better than yelling or worse yet, crying.

"I doubt it will be more difficult in the explaining than it will be in my believing."

A long moment passed while he gathered his thoughts before finally he spoke to the woman whose attention he so readily held.

"A year ago, I was as I am now. In my travels to patrol my lands I came across a creature I have never before seen, heard of or even imagined. It...questioned me about my feelings on humans. I answered and then I was human myself. The next night I was attacked by the creature you found me next to and everything else you know. The morning I returned as I am now, it had given me back my original form and after that until now, you know as well." A long moment passed before Takana responded to his story.

"What was your answer?"

"Answer?" He didn't hide the confusion in his voice.

"Your answer on you feelings about humans."

Sesshoumaru's brow furrowed. Of course she would ask that. She was, after all, the only human for miles around in a palace swarming with youkai. His feelings would be of great interest to her after all on such a subject. He could lie, he considered but quickly cast the idea aside. He had lied to this woman enough and he was many things but a liar by trait he was not.

"I hate them."

She just stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded by his answer. Honestly, she hadn't known what to expect but for some reason, that had been the last on her list. It _did_ make sense though. Being that she had always lived within the realm of the youkai's Western Lands, she had heard tales of the demon lord that despised her kind. It was said that the only reason humans were allowed to reside within his lands was because he would not sully his person with allowing them in his presence even for the purpose of ridding them from his lands. Humans were that far beneath him.

She'd heard the tales of why as well. She'd heard of his father that reigned over the land hundreds of years ago, of the human hime that he took as his own. It was not a fairly tale but a tale of warning to stay away from their kind for nothing but sadness followed the couple. It was said that she died because of her association to her love and that he soon followed in her fate. It was a tale of warning that Takana had followed well and believed as a child. After her rape, she no longer believed it. No woman would willingly go to a youkai. Not a sane one anyway. They were too cruel, too vicious to be capable of the love that the youkai lord supposedly shared with his human hime.

"Then why again, am I here?" She finally questioned.

"I do not hate _you_."

"This will not work." She stated calmly after a long pause, turning to the balcony but not daring to walk out on it for fear of the youkai she might see below.

'It must. I will not let you go.' Sesshoumaru said to himself as he carefully walked over to the woman he would protect until death. He did not answer her statement. He didn't know how. He wouldn't take the chance of lying to her again and telling her something as though it were fact when he could not guess the future would be just that. He came to stand next to her but made no move to touch her though he yearned to do so.

"You will not be ignoring me then?" He asked and a sad little smile crossed her lips.

"No. I don't think I could keep my mouth from moving for that long." She said, not looking at him.

"Good." They stood in companionable silence for a moment before he spoke again. "You are hungry?" She nodded an affirmative in response. "I will have food brought to us and then we have much to discuss." She nodded again. They most certainly did.

AN: Whoo, finally a chapter centered on our favorite pair and a long one to boot. Well, long enough that if you combined the sizes of this one and the last one, you'd have two of my normal sized chapters. Anyway, thanks to everyone who's sticking around and great big smooches to my reviewers. You guys always give me those little warm fuzzies. Happy reading!


	24. Machiavellian Machinations

Chapter Twenty Four – Machiavellian Machinations

Sarath looked over the scrolls in front of him. All was going well. At the moment he had everything he needed. His army was in peak fighting condition and larger than it had ever been in its 1500 year history. A twisted smile curled onto his blood red lips forming a strange crescent against the dark green that was his scaly skin. It was only a matter of time now before his plans would bear the fruit he'd been so carefully nurturing for a year now. Ever since the inu lord had disappeared into seemingly thin air, everything had been progressing with a smoothness that he almost found unsettling but what about implementing and financing an internal coup wouldn't unsettle a youkai. Sarath was interrupted from his thoughts by a knock at his study door.

"I told you that I was to be undisturbed." He growled at the cause of the interruption. A meek voice spoke from the other side.

"Yes my lord...but _he_ would like to see you."

A clear look of agitation crossed the serpent youkai's features. _What in hell was he doing here? _"Of course," he forced himself to sound anticipatory though he felt nothing of the kind, "send him you fool. He should not have to be announced!" This was the price he paid. It was necessary at time to make a fool feel important it he could advance your cause. His servant knew full well that sending this twit in without announcement would ensure his quick but painful demise but the servant understood the purpose of subterfuge by false flattery. If he didn't, he would not be standing guard outside of the Lord's door.

Sarath plastered his friendly mask firmly into place as the door was slid back, revealing the very fool that was the major key to his plan.

"Ah, Loki my good man, what brings you here so unexpectedly? I thought that we had agreed that it was best for you to remain in the West until we commence the next part of our plan."

The fat youkai huffed as he moved into the room that Sarath would not have believed the slovenly youkai to posses. "It's over!" He all but cried. His pudgy features were red with his discontent and the exertion to move more quickly that he was used to. "It will not work. We are ruined!"

Sarath took a calming breath, suppressing the desire to plunge his fist into the belly of this pathetic excuse for a lord. "Slow down Loki. Just what could have happened to cause your mind such troubles? There is nothing that could have happened that a little good planning can not fix."

"Bullshit!" He yelled. "He'd back!"

Sarath's eyes widened marginally.

"And just what clever little plan do you have now? We're done. There is no way that we can defeat him now; too many people will stand behind him now that he's back. We had a chance before but it's all over now!" He fat youkai was getting hysterical now. "I will never be the Lord of the Western Lands now!"

Sarath suppressed an eye roll but this new development would cause some trouble. Best to start trying to figure out what to do right away and for that he would need as much information as he could pull out of this idiot.

"It will be all right. Since when has your good friend Sarath not taken care of you?" He almost choked on the words. "This is just one more obstacle to overcome and in the end it will have only made you stronger. The West will still be yours, just tell me all that you know." He now made his way over to the shaking ball of fat.

"How?!? How can you possibly do anything? I _am_ superior to him but I could not defeat him when so many of the other lords will back him. Not even you would be able to strengthen my position enough now with all your armies to defeat them all."

"Loki!" Sarath hissed a bit too forcefully though he was quick to correct himself. "Loki," he spook more softly, "trust me. I will find a way but you need to tell me everything."

The pudgy youkai finally calmed himself enough stop the constant fidgeting he'd been engaged in since he'd reached the north. "You really think so? Even with Sesshoumaru back, you really think so?"

"Yes, yes, I do. Now what do you know?" He was getting tired of repeating himself.

"Well," Loki took a deep breath, "he came back last night, that's all I know."

"That's all?" Sarath couldn't help the derision in his voice. Luckily, Loki was too stupid to notice it at the moment.

"Yeah, I immediately came here to tell you."

Sarath's nails were now digging painfully into his palms as he fought against his desire to destroy the mutt in front of him.

"Here's what we are going to need to do. You need to return to the West immediately so that no one suspects anything. Remain there for a week and find out everything that you can about his return. Why was he gone, where did he go and everything else that you can? No detail is too small, no piece of information is unimportant. While you are gone, I will begin to modify our plans in preparation for this change. Then come back to me with what you have learned."

Loki nodded. He was now wringing his hands together. "Your right, your right." He looked up from his hands to the serpent standing before him. "I'll remember you when I am the Western Lord. Our lands will be allies forever."

"Yes of course." Sarath wasn't sure how much more of this acting bullshit he could take. It was taking all of his strength but when he remembered the reason for swallowing his pride like so much bitter medicine, it gave him new resolve. "Allies forever. Now go and learn what we need to make that a reality."

"Yes, yes. I will go right away."

"You do that." He commented patting the ample backside of the youkai as he escorted him to the doorway before pushing him just a little too hard out the door. Loki of course didn't notice this; his mind was too full of images of him wearing the crests of the Western Lands.

Only when he was sure that Loki had left his estate did Sarath finally let his mask slip. "What a moron. How did he even make it into adulthood with that mind of a simpleton?" He returned to his desk. This was going to take considerably more planning now with this new development. He would not give up so easily as his fat dog would though. Too much had been invested to back out now. He would have the Western Lands and he'd see the Dog General's son dead by the time it was all over.

AN: 'Holy crap!' you say? Another chapter out so soon? What can I say, I'm unpredictable sometimes. Here's a special thanks to my reviewers of late. You guys are so very sweet for taking your time to leave your comments. You know who you are but I'm going to name you anyway. Thank you LSR-7,marilarious, junyortrakr, Hasso, Jarik and all my previous reviewer. Thanks guys, you add that something extra to story writing.


	25. Continuing Hardship

Chapter Twenty Five – Continuing Hardship

She sat there, on display as she was in the uncomfortable, ridiculously intricate kimono she'd been dressed in and began to hate her situation more and more. She knew why she was here. Sesshoumaru had tried to explain it but she knew there was more to it than simply letting people know that she was going to be staying in the palace. There was something more important going on and somehow she knew that she was only complicating matters with her presence. That, however, was currently forgotten as she continued to sit as a statue to the lower right of the youkai that had brought her here.

Each youkai that passed to pay their respects to their lord would cast a curious glance at her. It wasn't so much that she minded their curious gazes but it was the physical appearance of the creature themselves that offended her. The females that passed, the women of his court were beyond a doubt the most beautiful creatures she had ever imagined. Each one was dressed in finery, that while not as ornate as hers, fit them in a way that hers never would. These were tall, delicate, sensuous looking creatures that outclassed her in every respect. They were taller than her, with longer more luxurious hair that hers. Their eyes were all shades of the most precious stones that adorned her necks. There were vivid violets, emerald greens and even the occasional fiery red. Their skin was like his, alabaster and flawless. Their necks were long and graceful, their stride purposeful and seductive and their very aura exuded a confidence in their appearances that she would never feel.

The longer she sat there, the more common she felt. Being common had never bothered her before but then again, she had never been set on a pedestal for all to view. It was a pedestal she did not find herself worthy of and she wished for nothing more than to crawl off of it and hide herself away in some dark corner. It increasingly felt as though she were the butt of some twisted joke that, while no one was playing it on purpose, she fit the punch line better than anyone could have imagined.

Sesshoumaru cordially greeted each of his guests with the due nod of his head but his true attention was not anywhere but on the little human female that sat off to his lower right. Though she had not moved a muscle or made a sound, he could feel the increasing agitation role off of her in waves. This had not been a good idea at least from the perspective of getting her slowly introduced to this way of life. He now regretted the decision. Something was bothering her and though he couldn't be sure exactly what it was, he knew it was only worsening as time went on. Every once in awhile, he would chance a quick glance in her direction, as time went on, he began to notice her eyes sparkling with unshed tears that she thankfully managed to hold back.

He didn't miss the difficulty some of his court had with repressing their desire to stare at the human woman and he certainly didn't miss the ones that failed at represent it all together. Undoubtedly, there were already small conversations begging started about this strange guest though if there were any, they all occurred out of earshot.

When all of his guests had arrived and taken their seats for the coming performance, Sesshoumaru took this chance to lean down and question her about her apparent state of distress.

"Takana."

She didn't look at him or give any indication that she had heard so he leaned closer still to her and whispered her name even louder.

"Takana, what is bothering you?" She gave him his answer. She turned to deliver what had to be the most dangerous glare he'd ever seen any creature give and it was focused directly on him. Her eyes were red and her body trembled lightly with barely suppressed rage. She looked at him for only a moment before returning her gaze back to the stage that was still devoid of any players. He'd thought they'd come to a tentative peace but her current state threw that hypothesis to the wind.

Sesshoumaru spared a glance at his two coconspirators in this plan to introduce her to society. Tomo had met him in the hall just outside of his rooms. It looked as though his general had not slept either. It was soon apparent why. He immediately began explaining a possible solution to the "human problem" as he'd dubbed it. The fall festival had already been set to begin that night. He believed it would look as though Sesshoumaru had planned on arriving back when he did and if he brought Takana to the opening performance, that would look intended as well. There would still be problems caused but he believed it would be much more manageable if handled this way. The mated pair now looked just as worried as he felt. He saw Yuti turn and say something to Tomo but he could not make it out. He seemed to disagree with whatever opinion she'd raised. She looked back to her lord with an expression that clearly said, 'all will be well, I hope.'

Finally, several of the surrounding lanterns were dimmed, signaling the start of the show and silently asking the audience for its full attention. Sesshoumaru looked to the stage as was expected of him but kept all of his other senses attuned to Takana.

The only human in the room or even within miles of the area stared ahead and slowly pushed her anger aside her anger as a single figure stepped onto the stage, bathed in white, flowing robes with hair that matched. This creature, like the ones that had been paraded in front of her, was also perfect but that was not why she drew Takana's attention. It was her eyes. Takana couldn't be sure if it were real or if it was some sort of trick but the way that woman's eyes looked was exactly how she felt, full of pain.

Then, when all voices had ceased and the large amphitheater was dead silent, she began to sing. At first her voice was alone, carrying a mournful tune in an unknown tongue that sent shivers down Takana's spine. Slowly, quietly, plucked instruments and perfectly toned drums joined in with her in a simple harmony that had more impact on Takana than the loudest thunder crack ever could. It was beautiful and terribly sad all at once. She wanted to cry along with the singer; to let her know that she knew exactly what she felt even though she had no idea with was being said. It was enough that the mood was conveyed and understood far better than any string of words. The song went on for quite some time and by the time it ended, Takana had forgotten all of her rage, had forgotten even that she'd been angry. She just wanted to hear that song again. Unfortunately, Takana rarely got what she wanted and today would be no different. The white clad figure quietly left the stage in the same quiet manner in which she'd arrived and before Takana had even noticed they were there, several dozen drums were expertly revealed in both the foreground and background of the stage. The rest of the show captivated Takana but none of it in the way that the first singer had done.

Unfortunately though, after the performance, the same procession occurred and once again she felt small and out of place in this world that was not her own. Again, she bore it, though barely. Finally, everyone departed and she found herself alone with the youkai once again.

He had hoped her distress had left permanently but as the show ended, it began to build once again. He was once again on ground that he felt uncomfortable with. He didn't know what to say or where even to start. The only thing he did know was that he needed to say something and soon before she broke down and perhaps began her silent treatment again. He decided to employ a tactic one might use on an unhappy inu bitch. He stood gracefully and kneeled down next to her, placing their faces at an equal height.

"Whatever you desire, I will provide." He breathed quietly into her ear. He wanted her to be happy here and this was the only way he could think of to do it.

Now she truly felt insulted. Did he think he could buy her affections, her trust? She was in no mood to be insulted. It only caused her ire to worsen and focus even more on the creature next to her. "Whatever I desire?" She asked quietly, her tone belaying nothing of what she felt.

"Anything." He was desperate.

"I desire my old life back, before you." She said it as though it were something he would give her. She knew that was impossible and not at all what he meant but she had absolutely no wish to make this easy on him. This had been a torture for her after all, why shouldn't he too suffer for the pain he'd caused, for the lies he'd told and for the life he'd destroyed. "And since you are in the business of giving me what I desire, I want my baby brother to live again. I want to have never been raped. I want my father to have never had to throw me away. But most of all, I wish that I had never, ever met you." By the time she finished the statement, the quiet rage in her voice made him shiver.

Sesshoumaru drew back from her.

"I can only give you what is within my power, within reason."

"Ah and how am I supposed to judge what is reasonable? Just two days ago, I believed you human only to find that you were the Lord of the Western Lands. I don't think, in all reality, that I'm in a position to tell you what I think is reasonable or for you to demand such of me." While she was at it, since she felt so cold and so low, she decided to go for broke. She saw no point in holding back.

"I really have no luck in this life. I actually think I'm cursed. You know, you are now the third man in my life that has destroyed it."

"I have told you, that was not my intention." Sesshoumaru was fighting hard to cage the beast but he had never known such insult in his life. Never in a million years would he have imagined that he would force himself to bear it for the sake of a human woman. He loved her, yes, though he had not said as such. He had wronged her, yes but to be compared to two men that never saw her worth, who cast her aside with little to no thought, who thought her lower dirt, it was an injury he found difficult to bear.

"And it was not my intention to rut two youkai in my lifetime. It was not my intention to give my trust to those who would betray it so callously. It was not my intention to..." But she didn't finish, so many tears were streaming out of her eyes and her voice could no longer support the painful words she spoke. "I wish that you had never revealed yourself to me." She cried silently.

He looked at her blankly for a moment, allowing what she said to sink in. If he had never revealed himself as a youkai, he never would have returned after being given back the form to which he was born. It stung to believe that was truly what she wanted, abandonment over a life with him.

"Why?" He asked, dumbfounded. He knew she was hurting but this...

"Because then, I would have thought you died and we could have lived in our respective worlds where we belong. You do not belong in mine and I most certainly do not belong in yours. They do not work together." Tears were pouring down her cheeks. She felt so foolish. Even after everything that had happened, she still found that she loved him.

He refused to believe it and if he did not believe it, then it was not true. "I say that they can." He would not let her go even if he could have guaranteed her safety.

She laughed. "You say that they can. Is that how your world works? You say it is and suddenly it's true. Do you really believe that?" She sighed and looked off to the side for a moment before continuing.

"I wish I believed that. If only it were that easy." She lifted her eyes back to his. She saw the confusion and frustration on his face. It mirrored the conflict inside her own but she did not stop. "Because if it was, I would say that my brother is alive, that I was happy and that you never lied to me and were actually human. But saying it does not make it so, does it?" She took a deep breath. "Even if it isn't safe, you should take me back to my home."

"No." He would not let her go though he let her turn away from him. "I will not let you leave." He stated firmly. She was connected to him. He imagined a world without her and did not like what he saw. He knew he was being selfish but it was difficult to break a habit that was over two hundred years in the making. He thought to his past, before he met her and wondered how he had managed. She was his life now. It didn't matter that she would age and die long before he ever grew old but that was the future. The future had always been something he looked to but now, all he cared about was the present. That's where she was. When he thought of his future, he knew she would not be there and therefore, he didn't think on it.

"You are my life now."

"I will die."

He turned her around to look at him. When she did not raise her eyes to his, he lifted her chin. "You are my life now."

She tried to pull away but he held her firmly. She continued to pull against his hold and became desperate. "Please let me go...please!" She cried. He held firm. She made one last effort in vain and then gave up. Her entire body was wracked by sobs and finally, she just collapsed against him. "It's foolish to keep me. I'll only grow to hate you for it."

He clenched his eyes shut at her words. He had no retort and could only hope that she was wrong. In the end however, right or wrong, he was going to keep her here, with him, as close to him as he could manage.

"I don't want to hate you." She meant it. She wanted more than anything to be happy but she just couldn't fathom bridging the gulf that now laid before them. He was youkai, she was human. He was a lord while she was and always would be a peasant. She could not be his wife here. If she stayed, what would it be for? His servant? His mistress? She scarcely dared to even think of the unborn she was now certain she carried within her. It was all too much to bear. A fresh batch of tears rolled down her flushed cheeks.

"Then do not." He knew it was oversimplified but at the moment, he needed all the reassurance he could get. Even if it was from himself and even if he barely believed it.

AN: I know, I know. It's a bit of rehash of the same feeling from the chapter before last but I just don't see how anyone would be able to get over such a traumatic experience just like that, so that's my excuse for this chapter. It just felt necessary or the rest of the story was going to feel rushed and forced for me and since I'm the writer, I get to make the decisions. :) He, he. Evil me.


	26. Schmoozing

**Chapter Twenty Six – Schmoozing**

With a fluid grace that surprised even himself, Loki crouched just behind the backstage curtains. The players had left soon after the performance in order to join in the feast that was taking place in the palace gardens. This left the perfect opportunity to do some surveillance on his Lord and the strange companion he'd brought to the play. What in the seven hells was he doing with a human woman? She'd seemed distressed by the entire affair, perhaps she was even there by force. Had Sesshoumaru's distaste for the human race suddenly led him to torturing their females? Certainly Loki thought the play was torture but did humans dislike such fanfare with as much gusto as his did?

"Please let me go...please!" That was what he heard the human say as she struggled to free herself of his Lord's grasp. She was definitely not there by choice. She must be some exotic plaything. He began to wonder if they really were fun to play with. Perhaps he would get himself one when he became the Lord of the Western Lands as it did seem to be in fashion now. He could not make out the rest of the conversation much to his chagrin. They were too far away and were speaking far too quietly for him to make out but since she looked as though she were quite anguished and his Lord looked just as cold as he normally did, he just assumed that he was threatening her to behave as a proper plaything should. After a few more minutes, he watched as Sesshoumaru stood first, followed reluctantly by the human. He ushered her out of the room and then moved close behind her.

Loki gave himself a big pat on the back. He'd observed his Lord without him even realizing it and that in itself was quite a feat. But then again, when you're the great Loki, it wasn't actually all that surprising after all. He smiled to himself as he made his way to the feast. He was starving.

"Yuti will escort you back to your room." Takana nodded as she automatically moved to stand next to the female youkai that she had met the previous day. She didn't trust her but she was in no position to question anything. Besides, her room was exactly where she wanted to be right now. "I will join you as soon as I take care of some business that needs attending too." Sesshoumaru waited for some type of response from her but when he was met with silence he grew anxious.

"Will that be alright?" This surprised two of the three people in the hall but it was the third that spoke.

"Yes, I'll be fine."

Tomo exchanged a quick glance with his mate before Yuti whisked the human back to her Lord's chambers. Had their Lord Sesshoumaru just asked for confirmation on a plan of action from a human. They knew he cared for her but this... this was... well they just didn't know what to make of it at the moment. It made Tomo nervous and he was glad that it seemed everyone had already made their way down to the feast. He would hate to even begin to imagine what would happen if someone had heard that otherwise innocent exchange. The Lord of the Western Lands asked confirmation of no one, especially humans.

He and Sesshoumaru turned in the opposite direction of the women and headed to the gathering. It was necessary for him to show or it would arouse the suspicions of everyone present and begin a rumor mill that Tomo had no desire to undermine at the moment.

"That went...well. Don't you think?" Tomo asked his silent companion.

"It put her under undue stress." He calmly replied.

"Yeah but she did alright. It's probably good that she acted the way she did. People will never think that she wanted to be there. Makes it look like something strange is going on but not that you're..." Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"That I'm what?"

Tomo cringed. "Well, that you're...doing whatever it is you're doing with her." He breathed a sigh of relief when Sesshoumaru merely nodded. He prepared himself again. Why in the gods was he such a loyal fool? He just didn't know how else to be. "Since we're on the subject, we need to find her a place to stay."

"Where she is now is fine."

"Well...yeah but you don't want anyone to..." He was cut off before he could finish that thought.

"She will not be moving."

"Oookay." He sighed. This was going to complicate matters. It wasn't going to take any time at all for people to find out where this human was staying. The palace staff was not known for its indiscretion when it came to such matters and swearing them to silence would only make the situation seem more scandalous than it already was. Rumors that she was there for a sexual nature would be out before the end of the week but he'd worry about that problem later.

"Perhaps you should tell me in what capacity she'll be staying so that I can better advise you on what courses are available to you."

Sesshoumaru stopped mid stride, causing Tomo to stop rather suddenly and awkwardly. He waited patiently while his Lord seemed to mull the question over. 'How could he not have considered this question before?' Tomo thought to himself with unease. Where had his old Lord gone who wasn't even in need of advisers because he was always one step ahead of everyone else?

"I don't yet know." He finally answered.

"Ah, well then." 'Thanks, that clears it all up.' He thought sarcastically to himself even as he answered something else entirely aloud. "Ready to assuage the fears of your lords, my Lord?" He finally asked as the silence between the two became strained. "They want you to, trust me."

Sesshoumaru smirked. Schmoozing his under lords was not a task he relished but it was one he could do without having to second guess himself all of the time. It would be good to feel that way again after so long.

"Indeed." He replied as they again strode out to the festivities.

"Would you like to change into something else?" Yuti asked as the human continued to fidget in her currently cloths.

"Gods yes." She sighed. "I wasn't sure if I should or not." She immediately made her way over to the small pile of cloths that were now hers. She chose a simple sleeping gown to wear since it was late and she no longer expected to go elsewhere.

Yuti couldn't help but smile. She was happy that the human was speaking now. The silence had been incredibly boring and she had begun to wonder if perhaps Sess had chosen her for that characteristic. She decided to see if last utterance had just been a fluke.

"You did not like the play?" She asked as the human struggled out of the intricate clothing. Though Yuti was not a dresser, she moved to offer her assistance which Takana took after it became clear that she could not escape from the ensemble on her own. It seemed Yuti had been correct in her suspicion and that it had indeed been a fluke until Takana got down to the last layer of clothing. Finally, she answered.

"The play was beautiful. I'd never seen anything like it." She left it at that but Yuti was not satisfied so she pressed. Secretly she was thankful to this human for giving her the excuse to not attend the feast. Though the food was always excellent and the company not that bad, she just didn't like such large gatherings. She preferred the intimate to the crowded. Besides, Tomo usually drank himself silly at these things. This year however would probably be a dry one for him. He knew when to indulge and when not to. This was definitely on of those 'not to' times.

"I couldn't help but notice that you seemed rather upset throughout the program." Takana looked up at her after she pulled the nightdress over her head.

"Was it that obvious?" Yuti gave her an understanding tilt of the head.

"We are all youkai here and we have an easier time telling such things."

Takana walked over to a bench and sat down with a tired slump to her shoulders. "You don't need to remind me of that." She sadly said. "Truly it wasn't the play that bothered me. It was that." She motioned to the kimono she only freed herself of moments before with the female youkai's help. Yuti looked confused.

"A kimono would make you feel so...angry?"

Takana shook her head. "It's not the kimono. It's the fact that I was wearing it. Those things are not for me. It was ridiculous to dress me up like that, like I was some hime or something."

"Humans do not where kimono?" She was still confused about why she had been so upset.

"Humans? Well some do, like royalty but I'm the farthest thing from royal. I'm just a commoner, a peasant. I'm not even meant to wear things as fine as this." She said, tugging at the clothing she now wore. Yuti's confusion only lessened somewhat. She was now pretty sure what the human was saying but something still bothered her.

"Wouldn't the guest of royalty be expected to wear such a garment?"

"We'll yes, I suppose but..." Yuti cut her off in her quest for understanding.

"Then you should consider Lord Sesshoumaru royalty, for he is the highest ranking youkai in the lands. And since you were his guest tonight, it was appropriate for you to wear it."

"You don't understand." Takana was getting that desperate feeling again. "I don't belong here. I never should have been his guest in the first place. I shouldn't have worn the kimono because I had no place doing so. I saw the other women. They were all beautiful. They could wear theirs because they were youkai and tall and thin and graceful and..." But she just trailed off.

Yuti felt understanding was over her now though she thought the reasoning behind the feeling foolish. "So you were upset because you are not one of us? Not beautiful enough?"

"Yes!" Takana shouted, slapping her knee for emphasis.

"I see." She was quiet for a moment and Takana finally believed that the conversation had been successfully concluded. "However," Yuti began as Takana looked plaintively up to her, "I find it silly."

"Silly. Really and why is that?" Takana snorted with a disbelieving look.

"Of all the females there, you were the most exotic. Of all the females there, you were the one that sat to the right of our lord. Every woman there looked at you and memorized every part of you. They will rack their brains over what part of their beauty is lacking and needs refinement. Many will begin to wish that they looked more like a little human woman because that is what has caught the eye of our Lord. It is their beauty that was inadequate tonight, not your own."

Takana opened her mouth to retort but slowly closed it was the youkai's words began to sink in. She couldn't be serious, could she? But they were so... "Arg!" She finally supplied. It was easier to believe herself beneath them. Now she was somehow supposed to be their superior simply because of where she sat. Was he that sought after?

She laughed at herself. Of course he was. He was beautiful. He had been as a human and he was now as a youkai. She sighed.

"Thank you." She said quietly to her hands.

"No need little one. It will take getting used to but...I think you will do just fine." And Yuti meant it. It took courage for her to go out there today and though it frustrated and frightened the human, it did change the fact that she went and held her head high. She had a feeling she was going to like this human. Hell, anyone that could change Sess at all had her respect and she had a feeling that this Takana, had changed him more than she knew.

AN: I'm going to do something new. There's a little thing that some other authors do that drives me bonkers, threatening their audience with no more writing if they don't get more reviews. Well I've decided to do the same thing but for things other than reviews. If I'm going to hold my story hostage, it might a well be for other more interesting things. So here goes. I'm not going to update until someone gets over to my house and potty trains my new puppy. She does her business wherever she likes and until that stops, I'm not going to update. Now hop to it readers. (I'm such a genius!)


	27. Exhausting

**Chapter Twenty Seven – Exhausting**

For a youkai that had almost unlimited reserves of energy, Sesshoumaru was amazed at just how exhausted he now was as he made his way down the dark halls toward his private quarters and to her. Even as he spoke with the multitude of lower lords and artfully dodged the obvious displays of the females, she was always on his mind. If he didn't have someone he trusted as much as Yuti, he doubted he would have been able to leave her alone. He knew it was ridiculous to have so much of himself invested in any one person, let alone a human, but it didn't stop him. He didn't even try to divorce his thoughts from her as the evening wore on. If it hadn't been so damned important to attend this function, he wouldn't have made an appearance this evening, especially after how poorly the performance had gone for Takana.

He sighed. He had wanted to leave hours ago but Tomo was a real slave driver. If Sesshoumaru hadn't known that the general pushed so hard for the betterment of the Western Lands, he might have punched the overzealous youkai square in the gut. As it was though, he knew this had to done. Luckily, the night had been fairly uneventful. Each lord he met with acted accordingly to traditional decorum, not presuming to ask questions about Sesshoumaru's extended absence, the absence of his birthright sword as well as Tokijin or of the unusual human guest at the performance only hours ago. They conversed amiably with the young lord and most took his silence on such matters as simply his prerogative. A few noted the choice of silence but did nothing to assuage thier own curiosity. After all, they were used to the exact same treatment from those that sat beneath them in the hierarchy of things. Everyone acted this way with the exception of one.

Loki.

The plump youkai had grown characteristically drunk by the time Sesshoumaru and Tomo made it his way. He was one of the less important district lords and therefore Tomo led them to the other more prestigious men before begrudgingly steering Sesshoumaru to Loki's position.

"My Lord Sesshoumaru, so good that you are hick back after so very, very long." He was the first to hint at the long duration of Sesshoumaru's absence. He emphasized his already poor manners with a bow that fell just a little too far and lingered there for just a little too long. "We were starting to worry." He finished as he finally rose back to a standing position, albiet a wobbly one.

Sesshoumaru practically had to hold his breath in order to keep himself from rolling his eyes or closing them in exasperation. 'Why did this man have to be such an idiot?' His internal monologue supplied in exchange of the physical display of annoyance.

"We?" Sesshoumaru questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Well...er, my self and my subjects my lord."

"Ah, why should your subjects be worried about an absence of mine if they are already being provided for by their reigning lord?" He asked, keeping the cool, aloof tone he had used the rest of the night with everyone else though his mind screamed at him to be snide with this twit. "You _are_ adequately providing for you own, aren't you?" He asked calmly instead.

"Oh, yes of course my lord, they just..."

"If they are being provided for then I'm sure everything is as it should be. After all, you were provided for during my journey, were you not? Was there something you were lacking?"

Loki looked rather annoyed at being manipulated so easily by this young fool. "No my Lord, I had all that I needed."

"Excellent, then all is well in your district and with you. Now if you'll excuse me." Sesshoumaru quickly and easily dismissed himself from Loki's detestable presence. Tomo was more than pleased but not surprised with how quickly and easily Sesshoumaru had handled that possibly bad situation before it became anything more than a social blunder on Loki's part. Undoubtedly the lower lord had planned on asking all kinds of inappropriate question and then blame it on the drink the next day. Or perhaps he was just stupid enough to think he had the right to ask such things. Either way, he'd lost in his little attempt.

Sesshoumaru now allowed himself the pleasure rolling his eyes at the impertinent nature of that fat youkai now that he was alone. He reached the doors to his rooms and quietly slipped inside. Once within, he was not surprised to find Takana fast asleep. She once again looked as peaceful in slumber as she once had in the waking world. He intensely hoped that these moments he was able to steel away with her when she was unaware of his presence would not be the only time that she looked so unencumbered with her tumultuous emotions. He yearned to crawl in next to her and share in her sleepy comforts but he dare not. There was still far too much to do still. He had no desire to hear Tomo's undoubtably logical reasons for pressing on as he should. He may feel distracted and not quite like the youkai lord he had been a year ago but he still knew well enough what was at stake and what needed to be done to ensure the survival of his reign. Instead, he pushed a lock of hair away from her face before moving to the attached study to go over various treaties and other correspondences with the other lands.

"S-sesshoumaru?" A groggy voice called out to him as he slid open the door. He turned to see a very tired looking Takana sitting up slightly. He immediately put the paperwork on hold and returned to her side. He knelt down so that he didn't tower over her.

"Yes?" He asked in a quiet whispered. He wasn't sure why he did that. She was already awake after all.

"Do...do you think I'm pretty?"

It was such a strange question to ask. He'd been by her side for over a year now and had been bedding her for a large portion of that time. Why would she even need to ask such a question? Before he could answer, she spoke up once again.

"They are all so beautiful. You knew who you were before you... chose to lay with me. Why are you not with one of them?" She yawned as she finished the question.

He was glad that her question would be as simple to answer as it was. "They are not you." He stated simply. Takana just gave him a quizzical look, her mouth pursing together. For a moment, Sesshoumaru thought he was going to have to elaborate on the simple point. He readied himself for another question when she drew breath to speak again. He was pleasantly surprised to the contrary.

"I like Yuti. She's a good one, isn't she?"

Sesshoumaru didn't suppress the light smile that came at her words. He nodded.

"You can trust her."

Takana nodded and lay back down, apparently satisfied with his answer. She closed her eyes and signaled that the short, impromptu conversation was at an end. He lingered for a moment before resuming his original course to his study. Again, he made it to the door only to be stopped by her voice again. This time it didn't sound sleepy but clear and serious.

"And I can trust you?"

He turned and caught her eyes as she looked at him from her pillow.

"Yes." Another simple answer.

She took a deep breath. "Ok, then we'll start there." And then she smiled. It was a real one. He nodded, unwilling to speak for the multitude of emotions this small statement elicited. And then she closed her eyes. He waited until he knew she was asleep before moving into the next room, unwilling to possibly miss anything this woman might have to say.

Several weeks passed with little commotion. Takana spent most of her time in the safe confines of Sesshoumaru's rooms but rarely saw him. She had grown more bold in her conversations with Yuti who seemed to be with her nearly all of the time. The female youkai was kind and didn't press the human for any of the millions of questions that seemed to burn in her mind at all times. Sesshoumaru and Tomo were doing fairly well in their dealings with the internal politics of the Western Lands with only a few hiccups here and there.

It seemed that the absence itself hadn't caused much reason for concern within the district lords and any grumblings that Loki had begun within their ranks had been greatly diminished with Sesshoumaru's return. The timing had been quite good it seemed. Most people were at their happiest around the time of festivals and by the time the fall festival had ended, nearly all of the commoners forgot about his long absence and many of the lords passed it off as the triflings of the young lord. Even Loki himself had grown mysteriously quiet, even taking a sabbatical of his own after the first week or so. All in all, the current state of things were going so well, Sesshoumaru planned on spending more time Takana and their slowly healing relationship.

The few times he'd had the chance to speak with her, she'd been polite in her tone and almost friendly. No longer did she lament to him her desire to be apart from him though he knew they were far from the closeness they once shared. Physical contact beyond innocent touches were strictly forbidden. She'd made that more than clear when he had attempted to kiss her one night while she stood overlooking the Western Mountains from the vantage of his balcony. She'd tried to do it as subtly as possible to protect him from any embarrassment but unfortunately it was her fear that had stopped him first before her movement had. He hoped that it would only require time. He missed touching her in the dark, hearing her sounds and tasting her lips.

He'd acted as though nothing out of the ordinary had occurred and mentally swore to wait as long as need be for her. Foregoing the pleasures of females had never been something he was particularly good at however. This was going to be and interesting and undoubtedly difficult trial. He could wait, he would wait...he hoped.

AN: So many helpful suggestions for the pup. Funny thing is today was actually an accident free day, therefore I decided to update. Lucky people. However, there's something new that's bothering me. Today I was unable to finish my run due to an accute pain in my hip. I'm going to be really upset if this impacts my milage for the week. So reviewers, until I feel placated in my most recent running problem, NO UPDATES!

Also, I'll address the whole, 'why didn't Sess know Loki was there?' dilema. A lot of people are questioning that along with 'why can't Sess tell that Takana's preggers'. No worries.


	28. Stolen Moments

**Chapter Twenty Eight – Stolen Moments**

"A human? A human female?" Sareth didn't even try to hide the astonishment in his voice. "And how is this being received?"

Loki picked at the roasted carcass and took a long draught of sake, in no real hurry to answer. "Some don't like it." He belched. "But most don't care and _no one_ will go to war because of it." He tapped his chest with his fist in a mild effort to force the food in his gullet down faster to make room for more but also in order to emphasize his point. "Everyone is already accustomed to the idea of Sesshoumaru keeping human females as pets anyway. He kept one for her entire life. If he'd been fucking her, then it might be a different story but the whole court paraded by her and nothing. I think their feelings would change some if she smelled like him but she doesn't just like the other human never did. She only smelled of her own kind. If he had fucked her, then it was a long time ago." He laughed. "Besides, there's rumor and this is just rumor mind you, that she's already whelped by a human."

"She's carrying?" He stroked his chin.

"I'm not sure. I never got _that_ close to her. I just walked by, but those that do think it, like the fortress servants would swear to it."

"Anything else?" Sareth asked, hoping that this fool had come with something more than this.

"No, that about sums it up. Oh, I need some more of that scent muddler. Can't have people suddenly knowing I'm being all stealthy." The fat dog answered back as he scoured the picked clean carcass for something else to nibble on.

"Why was he gone?" He asked, a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice.

"No one knows." Loki answered without looking at the serpent youkai.

"He disappears without a trace from his empire for an entire year," he began, "and all you have for me is that he brought back a whelped human woman?"

Loki looked up from his food survey at the chill in his coconspirators tone. He tried to match it but failed miserably. "Sesshoumaru _is_ well known for his silence on anything and everything personal."

"Hn." Sareth replied noncommittally. He needed more than this drivel about a human and its unborn whelp. If this plan was to bare fruit, he needed something...something more..." He was pulled out of his reverie by the sudden verbal explosion of his idiot companion.

"I almost forgot! No one has seen him with his swords or the swords themselves at all!" Loki looked very happy with himself.

Sareth allowed himself the pleasure of imagining himself spitting poison onto this fool and watching him dissolve in front of his eyes. Loki took the smile that resulted from the serpent's hidden fantasy as praise and smiled himself.

oOo

"Whoever knew you be so good with diplomacy Momo?" Yuti teased lightly when she walked into their quarters to find her exhausted looking mate slouched down in a chair with a mug of warm sake.

He gave her a mildly annoyed look. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

She laughed. "But that was the deal. I get to call you Momo and you get to call me Mate. Fair is fair." She said from the doorway.

Tomo put down the sake. "Yeah, well you got the better part of the deal. Besides, I don't much see the point in that lately." They hadn't seen much of each other lately but then again, that's probably why she was here.

She laughed and shook of his little jab as she walked over to her seated mate and sat down straddling his lap. "You look absolutely dreadful." She cooed before she kissed his brow.

"Thanks lover." He huffed as he placed his hands on her hips. "It's good to know that I look the same as I feel." He was about to say something else smart when she silenced him with a sweet kiss. He growled instead and not the kind when he thought about all the non military business he'd been involved in lately but the kind that he made when she wiggled in his lap like she was right now.

"Gods how I've missed you." He moaned when she pulled away from his mouth. "I didn't think Sesshoumaru would be back until tomorrow from his foray to the Southern Districts. Fortunate for us."

"I don't think he will be." She whispered into his ear right before she nibbled on it. Yuti suddenly found his hands on her shoulders instead of her hips where she preferred them.

He pushed her away slightly in order to get a good look at her face. "You mean he's _not_ back yet?"

"No." She said slyly before attempting to kiss him again. She was thwarted once more.

"Then why are you here?" He asked, all seriousness suddenly. "Shouldn't you be watching the human?"

"You mean Takana? And I've taken care of it." She said with a slightly guilty look on her face.

"Taken care of it?" His eyes narrowed.

Yuti let out an exasperated sigh and let her head fall back. "I've got Sura looking after her for just a little bit but if you think I need to leave right this minute..." She made to get up but strong hands suddenly held her firm.

"Now I didn't say that Yuyu." She laughed. He tried to use different pet names with her in an attempt to find one that she hated as well. That way he could get her to agree to stop using Momo in exchange for getting him to stop calling her whatever it was he came up with. It was a fool's quest. Even if he did find something that annoyed her enough to make her agree to such a thing, she'd never let him know it. She loved the look she received every time called him that way too much.

"Oooo, I like that one!" She didn't but she kissed him anyway.

oOo

Sura eyed the human woman. She'd been fascinated by the idea of one here in the palace the moment she heard the rumors. When Yuti had asked her to look after her for a little while, she'd jumped at the opportunity. Yuti must have seen the excitement in her eyes and had quickly admonished her.

"Don't bother her Sura. She's shy." She quickly softened her stance. "Thanks Sura."

Now the human was in her kitchen, peacefully eating a meal that Sura had especially prepared for her.

"Did you make this?" Takana finally asked. Sura jumped on the opportunity.

"Yes! Do you like it?" The diminutive youkai chirped, quickly moving away form the activity she'd been pretending to do for the last ten minutes.

Takana was surprised at the amount of energy that the little creature exuded but her voice matched her perfectly physical stature perfectly. She'd never heard such a tiny voice. It wasn't high pitched, just...tiny, with the hint of an accent. She had beautiful big black doe eyes that absolutely sparkled with excitement and the deepest black hair she'd ever seen. There was pitch-black and then there was the color of this creature's hair. Takana couldn't help but like her immediately.

"Yes, it's excellent! I've never had anything like this." She didn't think the little cook's eyes could get any brighter but they certainly did.

"I'm so glad! It's been a long time since I've had the chance to cook for a human." Sura saw the surprise on her guests face and immediately set to quell it. "This was Rin's favorite dish."

"Rin?"

"Oh, you don't know about her? She was the last human that Sesshoumaru-sama allowed to live here." The surprised look had not abated at all. "She died about twenty years ago. She was so old."

Takana was a mass of questions. Who had she been? Why had she been there? What had she been to him? Perhaps she wasn't the first to find herself in this odd situation. She opted to ask the most innocuous question she could think of without raising any suspicions from the tiny youkai.

"How did a human come to live in this palace before?"

"According to Jaken, a toad that accompanies Sesshoumaru-sama on patrols in order to care for Ah-Un, she just started following them one day when she was a child after Sesshoumaru-sama pulled her back from the underworld. Followed him all the way home."

"She'd been dead?"

"As a drown neko."

"How did he do that?"

"Oh, he has this magical sword that his father left to him called Tensaiga. It is a sword of life and he used it on the girl. No one knows why, not even Jaken and he was there when it happened."

It was a strange story but she was in no position to disbelieve any strange happenings these days. It was relieving to hear that she'd been a child that just followed him home though.

"I'm sorry," Takana started after a moment of silence, "my name is Takana and yours is?"

Sura absolutely lit up, even more. "Sura, my name is Sura. It is very nice to meet you." She said with a customary little bow of her head. Takana returned the gesture.

"Your accent; you weren't born here were you?" Takana asked, already becoming comfortable with the little youkai.

"No. I was born on the great continent across the sea to the west. I actually came over as a slave and was given to Lord Sesshoumaru as part of a treaty signing but I'm not a slave anymore. No, not me." She took a quick breath and continued. Takana was fully enjoying listening to her. "Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't approve of slaves within his lands so he freed me and allowed me to serve him in anyway I wished and I wished to cook so here I am. It was Sesshoumaru-sama's father that originally did away with the slavery practice in the Western Lands. I'm told that he did away with it when he took a slave as a mate and the decree was his gift to her. She was Sesshoumaru-sama's mother." She didn't stop but moved to take a seat across from Takana.

"Apparently it caused a lot of problems at first since all the lords had slaves. All the other lands still do too as does the continent but his word carried over into law here in the West. I was glad that I wasn't a slave anymore. It was so boring." She rolled her eyes and pretended to be falling asleep. "All I was allowed to do all day was look pretty but here..." She said, gesturing to the large kitchen that she obviously took a great deal of pride in, "here I can look anyway I want and cook all day and all night long. It's great! The life of a pleasure slave was not for me."

Takana almost choked on her noodles at her final words. "So, you never um...performed for Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Me! Oh no and even if I had, I wouldn't talk about it. He insists on privacy on such matters. It would be known of course," she tapped her nose, "but it would be improper to say it aloud."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Sura cut her off.

"It's ok." She chirped. "So, when are you due to have it?"

Takana froze, another amount of noodles just suspended in mid air. Slowly her eyes rose to meet the expectant ones of her cook. "What?" She asked hesitantly.

"Your baby. When do you think you'll have it?" Still as chipper as ever.

"But...I haven't told anyone." She stuttered out.

Sura had begun to get the notion that this was not a subject she should have brought up. "Well...everyone knows...everyone in the palace anyway."

"But how?" Takana was sounding like she was on her way to getting hysterical.

"You can smell it. Oh! Humans can't, I completely forgot but youkai, at least us inu, can smell it."

"Then Sesshoumaru knows." Takana said out loud to herself but Sura answered anyway.

"Yea, he would have known first since he brought you here. Are you alright?" Sura was a little concerned at the suddenly pale face Takana was sporting. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong. I didn't mean to." She started apologizing furiously.

Takana finally remembered that she wasn't alone and immediately tried to calm herself though she wasn't very successful. "No, no. I just didn't realize how good your noses were." She stood up, clearly still agitated. "Where's Yuti? I need to talk to her."

It was Sura's turn to look a little nervous. If she screwed up this little assignment then she wasn't going to be trusted with anything by Yuti ever again and she so looked up to the female general.

"Uh...she's indisposed at the moment." She knew full well where she was and just what she was doing. "She won't be gone long though. She should be back soon. I'm sooo sorry I upset you. Would you like some desert, I have some of the best deserts lined up for you."

It was funny that the distress of another actually calmed Takana down immensely. The caregiver in her seemed to always put her own worries behind those of another. "No, no. You didn't do anything wrong. I promise." When it seemed that the little youkai was not going to calm down, she continued. "I'd love some desert, what have you got?"

That did the trick. Sura immediately perked up. "You want some? Oh, then you're going to love this!" She ran to the back and came back with a bowl of diced fruit and a pitcher of cream. She poured the cream over the fruit and hand handed it too her with the most expectant look on her face.

"It's delicious!" Takana declare without an ounce of acting going into the display. It really was great. The cream was not just simple cream but was mixed with what had to be honey and a variety of spices that the young healer could not identify.

Sura clapped and hopped up and down. "Oh good!"

Sura just watched Takana eat her desert for a while, all conversation coming to a thankful standstill. When she finished as much as she could possibly eat, she spoke up again. Something had been nagging her ever since the silence began.

"Sura?"

"Yeah?"

"Where _is_ Yuti?" She asked with a little smirk.

Sura turned red which was surprising considering her previous occupation. "Um, I think she missed general Tomo-san" When Takana laughed, Sura gained a little confidence to speak again of which she didn't need much. "They haven't had much of a chance to see each other lately. They'd only been mated for a couple of weeks before Sesshoumaru-sama returned."

"I see."

"Yeah. I don't think she's supposed to have left you with me but...I'm not going to tell anyone.

"My lips are sealed as well." Sura immediately lit up as much as she had been before.

AN: Well, I haven't felt pain in my hip in a couple days and tomorrow I try running again so everyone, cross your fingers for me and I won't threaten you with anything this chapter. Good.

PSAN: I just realized after revising that this long chapter doesn't have any Sess in it. A travesty!


	29. Distressing Conversations

**Chapter Twenty Nine – Distressing Conversation**

If Yuti had left her alone, then it meant he would be coming to see her soon. She was nervous. She had been mulling over it all night last night and all day today but she still wasn't sure what to think of his silence over the matter of her pregnancy. If he'd known since he turned back to a youkai, then why hadn't he said anything? Should she say anything? It was all very distressing but soon she'd have her answer. Even if she shouldn't say anything, there was no way in hell that she wouldn't. She had to know.

She sat stiffly on a soft mat, in front of a low table. This is where she had eaten this afternoon. She'd been delighted when it was none other than Sura that brought her food to her. They had chatted about inconsequential things before she left and leaving her alone with Yuti once again. The female general had been eyeing the human all day. She'd been out of sorts, even for her, ever since she returned from her little rendezvous with Tomo. Sura had also been acting a little strange but said nothing. She might have asked the diminutive inu about her unusual behavior but had not yet had the chance. Whatever it was involved Sesshoumaru, of that she was nearly certain. The odd behavior of her charge had only deepened when Yuti mentioned that he would be returning today and that he wished to see her. Upon hearing the news, Takana became even more silent than she had already been that day and her whole person had become stiff and nervous. She would have to speak with Sura the moment she took her leave of her current duties.

Now Takana sat alone in the large rooms, waiting for his return. He didn't keep her waiting for long. She heard the tell tale signs of the door being slid open and of it being shut again, long before she saw him. She sat facing away from the doors and out toward the balcony. She didn't hear his approach but she knew he was there. She couldn't sense him, or smell him as he obviously could her but she still knew he was there. She didn't turn to look at him.

Sesshoumaru knew something was different the moment he stepped into his quarters. He'd walked quietly into the room to watch her already tense, seated form become even more so. He was aware that she knew he was there and he was sure that it was his presence that was now causing her tense distress. Every time he believed that they were moving forward in this tentative relationship of theirs, they seemed to take a step back instead. Each time, the reason behind the halt in progress eluded him at first. He hated always being on unknown ground with this woman. It unnerved him that he didn't know how to proceed and when he did act, it was often the wrong move. He sighed but not loud enough for her to hear. He would let her make the first move this time. Then maybe he'd have a better chance at judging how to proceed instead of jumping in blindly as he usually did with her.

He didn't have to wait very long. He was right, she most certainly did know that he was there.

"Why?" It was asked quietly, with a hint of worry.

The question was simply too vague for his comprehension. He would keep his question to the point, forcing her to continue and keep the lead.

"I don't understand the question." He replied in a cool and careful tone.

"If you knew," she began again, "then why did you say nothing?"

Realization hit him quickly. This was going to be a touchy subject, of that he was certain but at this point he could not tell if she were angry about his silence or not. The truth is what he'd promised silently to her and that is what he would give her.

"When I realized it, it did not seem like the best time to discuss such matters."

"And when did you realize it?" She was still seated away from him facing the balcony while he continued to stand behind her. It was then that he realized just how much he depended on seeing her face in order to determine her exact moods. Proceeding this way was almost like being human again and it that was strangely comforting.

"When I went to retrieve you by the river after...I revealed myself to you." He stated with a hint of quilt in his voice by the end of the explanation. It seemed that he still had difficulty controlling his emotions when it came to being around her. She had such a powerful effect on him and at times it made him uneasy.

"I though you said that I could trust you." Her voice was still unreadable.

He closed his eyes. At the time, it had seemed like the best course and then after returning, it just never seemed to be the right time.

"This is not a matter of trust." He finally stated.

She laughed. The sound was hollow and unpleasant.

"And just exactly how is it that you don't see it as a matter of trust?" She now turned her head to the side and spied the creature behind her through the corner of her eye.

"It was to be your choice when you told me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't like it when he was cryptic and nothing served to feed her anger faster than that. She stood up as she asked the question and finally faced him head on.

Sesshoumaru stood his ground and began to elaborate on his answer even as she strode up to him.

"You have not been given many choices of late. I didn't see the need to remove that one from you as well. It was my hope that you would tell me on your own but it is clear that you discovered I knew before you had the chance. Did Yuti tell you?" It was his turn to be angry. He had given her specific instructions to say nothing of it.

Takana stopped in her tracks. It didn't take a genius to know that the sudden coldness in his voice was not directed at her but elsewhere. Perhaps she should not have asked after all. If he was truly trying to give her some control back over her life by saying nothing then in the end, she didn't really have the heart to be upset with his decision. It did seem that most everything he did for her these days was designed to make her new life here as comfortable as possible but in her quest for answers, she may have unwittingly gotten someone else in trouble. That was not what she wanted and it's not what was going to happen.

"It doesn't matter how I found out." She tried but only succeeded in getting him to narrow his eyes at her. She needed a change in strategy or perhaps just a change in subject. "So now that I do know that you know, I need to know what you think about what I now know you know." Even she frowned at the way that one came out but at least his eyes went from narrowed to one eyebrow disappearing into the fringe of his hair. "What I mean is, what will happen to the baby. I know that hanyous are not well liked among humans or youkai. If you want to do anything harmful...I swear to the gods I'll," she was suddenly getting riled up at the thought of something terrible befalling her child. It may not be the most opportune pregnancy but that wasn't going to change the fact that she'd protect her unborn with her life. "I'll find a way to hurt anyone that..." She was cut off.

"You are right. Hanyous are not often well received by either race." He actually looked amused at her sudden fury. Her emotions could change so fast. From weary, to angry, to worried, to concerned and back to angry again, all within a few minutes time. It was almost dizzying but seeing her suddenly become so defensive about their unborn child, made him feel proud of her. She would be a good mother. He continued.

"However, that will not be of concern." He stated simply being purposely vague this time. He enjoyed seeing her so animated sometimes, especially when he believed it would not end in her ire.

Again, she had another sudden mood change. Now confusion reigned down on her attractive little face.

"What do you mean? I'm human and you're youkai and..." He cut her off.

"But I _was_ human." Takana's mouth dropped into a suddenly understanding, 'OH'. Her eyes and hands dropped down to her stomach. After a moment of silence between the two, the cogs in Takana's head started to turn once more.

"So, if the child will be human...no one knows that it's actually yours, do they?" She asked.

"No." He stated simply but now was definitely the time for elaborating on his own. "And it is important that it remain that way for now. Such information could prove dangerous. Only you and I know."

"What about Yuti? Doesn't she know?"

"No, I only instructed her to not reveal that your pregnancy was well known. She did not know the reason behind the request."

"Ah." She responded. "So, I can keep the child?" Suddenly very serious again. "Because I won't stay if..." He cut her off once again. As much as her agitation was amusing today, he would not let her think even for a moment that he would remove a child from its mother.

"Our child will stay with us." She looked back up at him and was rewarded with the warmest smile she'd given him in a very long time. It filled his with warmth and he momentarily forgot himself when he reached up to caress her face with his clawed hand.

She tensed for a moment but then forced herself to relax at the gentle gesture. She too was rewarded with something just as rare these days. His smile. It was small, only pulling at the corner of his lips but it was one none the less. He rarely had done more as a human anyway.

"Is there anything else I should know?" She finally asked when his hand left her face and returned to his side.

"Hn." was his non committal reply. When she narrowed her eyes at him, he continued.

"Nothing that this Sesshoumaru can fathom at the moment."

"This Sesshoumaru eh?"

"Hn"

AN: I'm not entirely happy with this chap. I just felt like it was...stilted. What do you think? Also, no complaints today, so no threats either. Just a bit of useless trivia, my most reviewed story to date was 'Her Choice' with 168, (on MM anyway) I actually think I'm going to top that with this one. Funny thing is though, that story was only 38 pages long and this one is already pushing 80 with lots more to come. Chucklesome. Anyway, happy reading!


	30. Food and Games

**Chapter Thirty – Food and Games**

Takana's brow furrowed in highly concentrating consternation. She was truly terrible at this game and apparently her opponent didn't believe in going easy on a beginner. She looked at the pieces in play once more and then back at her own tiles that sat facing her, away from the prying eyes of her short term enemy. She looked back to the board. She had to have a play...she had half of the tiles from the 'bone yard', unpicked tiles still hidden in a little pouch while Yuti sat there with only three measly tiles. It was so damn frustrating. Not a damn one of them played. Exasperated, she reached for the pouch again to draw what would undoubtedly be yet another useless tile.

Yuti, on the other hand, sat back calmly on her side of the playing board with an air of outright superiority. It was a bad combination, the two of them playing against one another, the youkai noted. She had soundly beaten the human at the last three games. The problem wasn't that Takana was a poor player, it was that Yuti never, _never_, won this game against anyone and at the moment, she was so elated over that fact that she just couldn't find it in her heart to give the new player and inch of breathing room. Yuti glanced down at her own pieces and looked at the numerous places on the game board that the tiles all played. She couldn't help but smile to herself.

"Argg! This can't be." Takana complained as she set down her newest tile with her army of other duds and put her hand back in the pouch. "How can I have so many pieces and not have a single one that plays?" It was a rhetorical question but Yuti decided to answer anyway.

"Just poor luck. I'm sure things will turn around." Her comment immediately drew a very perturbed glance from the human player.

It caused Takana to mumble unintelligibly under her breath. "Poor luck...show you...stupid game."

"What was that?" Yuti asked, not being able to keep the amusement out of her voice. Takana's head snapped up to meet her gaze, obviously startled that she'd said any of that aloud.

"Oh...oh it was nothing really." She said and then turned her attention back to the tiles in front of her. She had to think a way out of this. She couldn't just quit. That was way worse that losing this badly but still...she needed to stop this game if she was going to keep herself from swiping all of her copious amounts of tiles to the floor in an angry little tantrum. She kept her hands firmly clenched together in her lap to keep just such a scenario from playing out. She sighed and finally raised her hand to pick up yet another tile from the bone yard. Her hand was stopped mid way when a tiny voice broke her out of her defeating thoughts.

"I hope you two are hungry." Takana immediately spun around in her seat with a huge smile on her face to see Sura coming in with a large tray of food. She'd been saved and by the smell of the food, it had to be the most delicious way of being saved.

"I'm saved...I mean I'm starved!" She said just a little too excitedly. She quickly calmed herself and she turned back to Yuti. "Unfortunately, we'll have to finish this another time." She said as solemnly as she could muster, finding it difficult.

"Yes, that's very unfortunate." The general said with a little smile. Though she wanted to finish the game, she knew exactly how Takana felt right now having felt the same herself a hundred times before playing against her mate. She began picking up the tiles and placing them in the pouch in order to clear the table for lunch. However, no matter how much she sympathized with the little human, she was already planning on playing their next game on a table that didn't also get eaten off of. She would not let this happen a second time.

"And just what delicacies have you brought, Sura?" Takana asked as the diminutive inu set the edge of the tray on the table. She waited for the rest of the tiles to be placed away before sliding it in front of the little human who's belly was beginning to show just a little more with each passing day.

Yuti watched the two prattle on about the food. It had become a much more interesting topic for the human as her pregnancy progressed much to the cook's pleasure. Sura had been personally bringing Takana most of her meals for the past month or so. Yuti had begun to protest the unusual practice the first time it happened until she saw how happy Takana had been to see the cook again. Their friendly banter had quickly caused Yuti to bite her tongue. Her charge was still not allowed to have many visitors as it was, let alone any friendships outside of her. She just didn't see the harm in her developing one with the cook. They seemed to enjoy one another's company so what was the harm?

"Are you hungry Yuti?" Takana asked when she'd returned from placing the sack of tiles on a shelf across the room. They all knew that she would not but it was just in Takana's nature to always make sure everyone around her was taken care of. It was a funny sentiment since the general was here to take care of her and not the other way around.

"No thank you, I'll be fine." She answered politely as Takana turned back to the feast that even an army of pregnant women could not consume. She began her daily ritual of asking the contents of each of the foods that she hadn't had before. At first, Yuti thought she had just been making idle conversation with the cook but had later learned that she had a much better reason her for her commentary than that. Yuti had learned that Takana's preoccupation with food lately did not just stem from the fact that she always seemed to be a bit hungry but more importantly from her desire to eat foods that she knew would be good for her and her unborn child.

She'd discovered this when Takana didn't eat any dishes that were prepared with certain foods and even prepared in certain ways. Sura was never offended but would stop bringing those foods for her to sample. When she'd asked her charge about the unusual behavior, Takana had been very eager to share with her some of her knowledge about the health of human women who were expecting. Different foods could have a variety of effects on both the mother and child as well as the pregnancy itself. The range of effects was everything from premature labor to difficulty during it as well a variety of birth defects from blindness to crippled legs and arms.

The information had surprised her and even frightened her to a point. She'd wondered if the same types of problems could occur with youkai pregnancies. Though she wasn't planning on having one anytime soon, she would one day in the future. It had actually prompted her to seek out and question a youkai healer skilled in such matters. To her dismay, it seemed that there were just as many precautions to be taken during youkai pregnancies as there were with humans though they differed at times, there were many maladies Takana had mentioned that were the same for both races. Her respect for Takana grew a great deal that day. Especially given that fact that the healer she'd sought out had been nearly four hundred years old while she guessed Takana had no more that two decades under her belt. Her amount of knowledge was immense for one so young.

The fact that Yuti now believed Takana to have been some sort of healer in her life before coming here only raised a great number more questions in her mind. Who was this woman? The first thing she'd told Yuti was that she was Sesshoumaru's whore which implied certain activities. But in the whole time she'd been here, nearly four months now, they had not once engaged in such activities. And even if she had been Sesshoumaru's lover before coming here, why had she also been doing such with at least one human as well. After all, she was pregnant not by their lord but by a human male. But that too was still something that bothered her after all this time. The first night she'd met Takana, she had smelled of a human male and though it made absolutely no sense then and even less now, the scent that had still clung to her had been vaguely familiar to the female general. But she knew no humans. She had never spent enough time around any one of them to have learned their scents but still the feeling persisted. It could have been the lateness of the hour and the oddity of the situation playing tricks on her but Yuti would swear, even now, that the scent she'd smelled had been a familiar one but one she could neither place nor fathom why she knew it.

The only person she'd brought any of these questions to was her mate and he was just as at a loss as she was to answer any of them. He had not gotten close enough to the sleeping human that first night to confirm what Yuti had smelled but he trusted her enough to know she wouldn't just make something like that up. Though they tried not to draw conclusions about any of the mysteries that both their lord and his strange companion comprised, they just couldn't help it. The only one of many that they had voiced to one another that had any basis for possibly being true was this:

Sesshoumaru never actually took the female himself but had for some unknown reason developed a deep feeling of attachment to her, most likely an after effect of Rin's presence all those years ago. It seemed it was a feeling she shared since after the first tense month between them, her obvious affections for him seemed to reappear. When she'd become pregnant by a human male, perhaps through force since she never mentioned a mate of her own or ever lamented the loss of some unnamed love, Sesshoumaru had decided that he no longer wished her to live in the same way she had before. Therefore he brought her here, apparently against her will.

Both Yuti and Tomo knew this couldn't actually be it, it left too many ridiculous what if's and how's but it was the best they'd been able to come with considering the lack of information that they both had. Such as Sesshoumaru telling Tomo that he had been unable to come back until he did and that it would have been disastrous to do so. What possibly could have caused those conditions? He was the lord of the western lands and stronger than any other single youkai in all the four lands at least of the ones they knew of. It was all too strange but the two of them, along with the rest of the occupants of the western lands who had all come up with even more bizarre stories to explain what had happened, had all resigned themselves to the fact that they may never know. In reality, very few really cared, it wasn't their business to know and all it really served for was a way to pass the time in the cold, boring months of winter. Finally, Yuti returned her attention to the two sitting before her.

"When do you think you'll have it?" Sura asked for perhaps the tenth time since she'd first begun bringing Takana her meals. Why she asked that same question all that time, Yuti had no idea. Maybe the talkative little inu just couldn't stop her mouth from moving and was forced to say the same things over and over again when nothing new came to mind for fear that her little head would explode. Well, probably not but Yuti was used to finding ridiculous explanations to the unexplainable lately.

Takana began to answer the question yet again, not in the least perturbed about the repeat when her words were cut short by a rather curt, "Leave us."

Sesshoumaru had entered his personal quarters to find three chattering females which he was truly in no mood to deal with. Well, two chattering females and on quiet general, he corrected himself.

Yuti was the first to stand, upset with herself that she had not noticed his entrance. This position of babysitter, though she didn't lament it, was making her soft. Sura jumped up almost in a fright, her already naturally large eyes nearly popping out of her head. Takana remained seated, a quiet smile settling on her lips.

Yuti bowed as did Sura. The general approached her lord while the cook furiously gathered up all of the dishes and utensils. Her human had finished eating long ago.

Sesshoumaru glance over Yuti's shoulder at the cook. "Why is she in here?" He asked quietly but none too happily.

Yuti glanced back for a moment before choosing her words carefully. "Mistress Takana seems to have an affection for her. I didn't see the harm."

"That is not a decision for you to make general."

"Yes, my lord, I agree but she has so few...friends in this place and a general does not always make a good one. Her visits make her happy my lord."

"Hn." Was his only reply as he watched the cook continue to scramble to clean up. He was silent for some time before finally speaking again. "She may continue to visit but Yuti..." He spoke as she bowed, waiting for her gaze to return to his. "You will come to me first next time." It was an order and one that she was not to go against.

"Yes my lord." She took that as her cue to leave. Once she reached to door, she saw that Sura was not far behind so she left.

Sura bowed as she passed the imposing lord. He frightened her as he did most of his subjects. He coolly watched her pass before moving to the little human that still sat quietly at the table as she had been when he first arrived. When he reached her she spoke quietly.

"You frightened my friends." The same small smile still sitting on her lips.

"They both need to be more attentive to their surroundings." He said in only a half stern tone as he leaned over to touch her softly rounding belly. Both their heads turned when they heard an empty bowl fall to the floor to see Sura struggling but successfully opening the door and backing out, pulling the bowl along with her by her foot as the door closed.

"You really scared her."

"Hn." He replied as he returned his attention back to his little human. His day had not been going well so far and though he had entered his rooms in a rather foul mood, it had melted once faced with her presence. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better." She answered honestly. For many of the past mornings, she had not been able to hold her morning meal down for very long with the feeling continuing on until well past the afternoon. She had assured him that it was not an uncommon occurrence and that everything was fine. Begrudgingly, he took her word for it, though she knew it still worried him.

He was relieved to hear it. He preferred her not to be throwing up her food each day. He just didn't see how such a thing could be considered normal and not be a sign for concern but he kept such feelings to himself unless the situation had deteriorated. Then he would have called in human healers. He was glad he had never acted on the impulse before since he didn't think she would be very happy with him if he did. It would be as good as telling her that he didn't trust her knowledge and ability, which would have been ironic considering she'd saved his life using that very skill he had been questioning.

He pulled himself away from those thoughts as she placed her hand over his which still sat warmly on her abdomen. "It's just going to keep getting bigger and bigger." She said for no reason in particular. It just felt like a good time to say something.

"As it should." He replied. Her statements rarely required an actual reply but he found himself speaking when it wasn't truly needed. At least he did so when he was with her in the same manner she did with him. It didn't matter that it didn't accomplish any goal or answer any question. It was just a pleasant thing. It was hard for him to do but he found it became just a little easier with each bit of practice. "Would you like to join me for a walk?" And as such he kept talking.

She shook her head with her 'yes' that was leaning lightly against his arm and lingered there a moment before rising to head off to their walk.

AN: I bet you all though I died eh? Well, I could go ahead and tell you all why it's been so long but then I thought, nah. Let's just say that I never forgot about you guys or this story and now I'm back. Sorry for the long wait and I hope this chapter will get you back in the mood for my little story. I do plan on finishing it this time...plan of course being the word to pay attention to in that statement. What can I say? Tata.

Extra AN: If you are hoping that I'll be updating my Red Eye fic...not yet, I'm so very sorry but I want to finish this one since I started it first but I will finish that one too...I Promise!


	31. Epiphanies

**Chapter Thirty One – Epiphanies**

Sarath continued to look over the missive he'd received only hours ago. It read:

lord of west has strong affection for human, shows almost fatherly devotion to human's unborn

It was strange situation. So strange in fact that Sarath had been mulling over that very simple phrase over and over again. It didn't make any sense but he dare not discount the possibility of its validity. This information could turn out to be most important he'd received in some time. But he also couldn't just believe it on blind faith either. Something as unusual as this needed to be tested, just to be sure. He needed to know. Nothing else he'd been planning over the past two years seemed to be working. Loki was right, the rest of the lords within Sesshoumaru's territory were more than happy to have him back and any leverage their previous discontent had granted him was gone. He needed to find a different way to draw the dog out. And this little piece of information might just be what he needed.

Sarath continued to mull its implications around in his constantly angling mind. What if this was more than simply a strong affection that he harbored for the human. And why would he feel a fatherly affection for another's child, especially one that had yet even to be born. One tended to feel those sorts of things only for ones own. It didn't make any sense.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, a peculiar thought occurred to the serpent taiyoukia. What if the child that grew in the belly of the human was actually the offspring of the dog lord? It wasn't all that much of a stretch after all. His father had whelped offspring with a human, why not then the son? He too was known to have at least a certain fondness for the females of that particular race as it was. He'd kept one from the time it'd been a pup all through its short life until it apparently died of old age. Perhaps in his absence or even before it, he'd fallen in the same way that his sire had.

His line of thought just kept building on itself. As far fetched as the idea was, this was the first hypothesis he'd posed to himself that actually filled in most of the holes that his other musings could not. The main problem with this explanation was of course, why would everyone believe the unborn was to be fathered by a human unless the human woman smelled of nothing but human blood? It was a question he couldn't answer himself since he'd never been anywhere near the creature and most likely never would be. Especially if his current thoughts were the correct one was, Sesshoumaru would undoubtedly keep anything and everyone he considered a threat very far away from her.

Sarath sat there for a long time pondering this very issued. It was, after all, a very big hole in his idea. For hours and hours he sat there pondering, or more to the point, searching for a possible explanation. He'd just about given up on in for the day when a light knock that was barely perceptible to his keen hearing sounded outside his door.

"Yes, what is it?" His tone was stern as the irritation of not having been able to solve his problem showed through in his manner of speech.

A very small spider youkai, no bigger than a mouse, scurried into the room. It carried with it a vial that was nearly twice its size. It clamored quickly along the floor and up a small table off to Sarath's right and set down its parcel.

"The ointment you requested my lord." It said in its squeaky voice as it attempted its closest approximation to a bow before hurrying back the way it had come. It didn't wait for a response from the serpent lord as it had never gotten one before.

Sarath stared at the bottle on the pedestal for a long moment before halting the tiny messenger just as it was about to disappear out the door.

"Just a moment." It stopped dead in its tracks and quickly turned around. Even from where Sarath sat, he could hear its miniscule heart skip a few beats as it struggled to beat as rapidly as its sudden fear dictated.

"Yes my lord?" It squeaked.

"This ointment covers sent." He said more to himself as he began thinking aloud. The little messenger answered anyway for fear of dong the wrong thing.

"Yes my lord. It is formulated specifically to cover and inu's scent."

It was a few moments before Sarath spoke again. The spider nervously shifted its weight to each of its eight stick-like legs in turn as it waited.

"Could one be devised to change a creature's scent?"

"As in make an inu smell like another form of youkai?" It cautiously asked for clarification.

"Yes."

"It would take time but such a thing can be done." The spider was not the maker of these potions but his mother was and he knew that she had accomplished similar feats in the past.

"Hmm. But could one be made to say...make a pregnant female, say a human, that carries a half-breed smell as though the young she carried was entirely her own kind?"

This caused the spider youkai to pause a moment, his fear of the lord momentarily forgotten as he mulled the original idea around in his head. He'd never known of his mother creating such a thing but that didn't mean it couldn't be done. It had probably never been asked for in the past as it was an odd need to begin with. Despite that however, the process would undoubtedly be fairly similar to any other scent potion. All it did was mask and original scent with a new one, just like all the others. So why not? He was sure his mother could accomplish such a feat but he didn't dare speak for her on something he didn't fully understand. Finally, he replied.

"It's likely my lord but I would have to ask my mother to be certain." Sarath smiled.

"Very well, run along and ask your mother. Then return here to let me know what she says."

"Yes my lord." The little youkai squeaked as it immediately turned to do the lord's bidding.

"One more thing." He watched as the young creature quickly became frightened again as it turned back to him once more.

"Yes my lord?"

"Tell your mother that her ointments have worked perfectly." He paused as the spider held his awkward bow, "and that she has a fine son." He watched as the little thing seemed to puff up twice his original size though still quite small.

"Yes my lord!" He bowed again.

"And your name?"

"Nito, my lord."

"Nito...a fine name. I will remember it."

Nito bowed again and several more times before finally exiting the room. The little boy was elated. Just wait, he though, until he told his hundreds of brothers and sisters what the great lord had said about him. They would be so jealous! He quickly scurried down the hall to tell them all and to ask his mother the unique question.

Sarath sat back with a very pleased smile on his face. That explained it...he knew it could be done. So the son had committed the same faux pas as his father. He must be going about the current charade in order to give his little human and his subjects time to become familiar with the idea of her and her child before springing the knowledge on just who the father was on all of them. Perhaps however, he planned on concealing the child's parentage for the entirety of its life. It would be difficult but not impossible. All that would be required would be a steady supply of scent concealer and special charms to hide any of it youkai features from the world. It sounded like quite a bit of trouble but it was still a possibility.

Well, now that he'd figured it out, all that was left to do was to find a way to exploit the situation to his advantage. He smiled as he began writing instructions in a return missive. Now, he had another job for that idiot Loki.

AN: Momodesu asked how I found the motivation to start writing again after so long. It wasn't easy but I'll tell you the key ingredient...guilt. I don't know how many stories I've read that I really enjoyed only to find out that it was never finished. I hate that and I just couldn't let myself be _that_ author so here I am again. Hope that answers the question.


	32. A Perfect Response

**Chapter Thirty Two – A Perfect Response**

"What exactly is it that you do all day?" Takana asked as they leisurely strolled through Sesshoumaru's private gardens.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself a small smirk. He'd been wondering when she would ask this type of question about him. And though he was surprised that it had taken her this long to inquire about the aspects of his life that she didn't have a chance to see, he suspected her reasons for waiting as long as she had. To bring up such topics was to know the answers. And each answer she had about his life here was just one response further away from the life they had shared together in her little hut, her little world. He'd been looking forward to the day when she finally asked them because wanted her to...no, he _needed_ her to cross that bridge to a new life with him here, in his far larger world.

"Many things," he answered casually, "all aimed at increasing the security and prosperity of these lands."

"Ahh." She quipped sarcastically at his annoyingly vague answer as they continued along. She reached out and touched the bare branch of a cherry tree whose leathery skin was just beginning to bulge with the new spring growth beneath it. She eagerly anticipated the blossoms that were less than a month or so in coming. "What kind of _things_?" She finally asked when she decided that the last answer to her question was simply inadequate for her tastes.

"Many kinds of _important_ things."

She glanced over at him as they walked and let a smile cross her lips when she saw the slight smirk on his.

"So that's what a mighty taiyoukai does day to day, many kinds of _important_ things?"

"Indeed." Was his one word reply.

She gave off a mildly incredulous laugh before asking, "Are you being coy on purpose?"

"I am afraid you are mistaken woman," he sounded slightly perturbed by her question, "taiyoukai are _never_ coy." His smirk disappeared but that did not matter to Takana.

She laughed when she quickly quipped, "Then you must not be taiyoukai because you are most definitely being coy."

"Hn." Sometimes Sesshoumaru believed this woman was simply too smart for her own good.

The walked in companionable silence for a few moments before Takana persisted in her search for knowledge and a reason to keep talking just as Sesshoumaru knew she would.

"So what was the most _important_ thing you did today?" She asked, hoping that he would be a bit more forthcoming if she were more specific.

He was, just not in the way that she expected.

He thought on that for a moment and then answered in all confidence. "I am doing it now."

Takana just stopped at his answer, too stunned to continue for the moment. Sesshoumaru continued on for a few more steps pleased with his romantic brilliance before coming to a stop and turning to look at her. When he did, he saw her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. He immediately moved forward to confront whatever it was that he'd done to upset her. Perhaps he simply _wasn't_ smart enough for his own good.

"Are you alright?" He asked but she didn't answer. She instead looked down at her feet that were becoming a scarce commodity behind her growing tummy. After standing there for a few silent moments, he decided to take the initiative. Hooking a finger under her chin, he gently tipped her face up to meet his. The tears had escaped their tiny prison and were making a run down her cheeks to freedom.

"Have I done something to upset you?" His didn't attempt to hide the concern from his voice.

Takana shook her head from side to side a couple times as she tried to brush away the evidence of her tears with her kimono clad arms. The lump in her throat was just too large at the moment to utter anything out loud.

"You do not doubt my words...do you?" He asked with a hint of worry.

Takana finally found her voice, broken as it was. "No, it's not that...I just don't expect to hear you say things like that and when you do...well...I just don't expect it is all." Her gaze fell back to the ground.

"They are the truth. I want for nothing more than your comfort and safety and for this." He reached out to gently caress her stomach. He heard her quiet intake of breath when he touched her. It was a sound that called to him and stirred feelings within him that he'd been careful to keep in check for the last several months. The pent up feelings combined with her nearness and the intimacy of the situation served to embolden him. With his other hand he gently cupped her face and tilted it up to his. He silently prayed that she would not push him away. He ached to taste her lips again. With a slowness that nearly killed him, he leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against her forehead and then to the tip of her nose and finally to her lips.

His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when she did not pull away. With that small victory in hand he allowed himself to press his lips more firmly against hers. He was then granted the moment he'd been waiting for after what seemed like a lifetime.

She kissed him back.

When he deepened the kiss and she allowed it, he wanted nothing more that to pick her up and carry her back to their rooms, never breaking the connection between them. That was what he wanted but it was not what he was going to do. Instead, he continued with the gentle play between them before reluctantly breaking away from her. He had come this far, he would not scare her off now with his and his body's desire for more carnal pursuits. He was simply content for the moment to be allowed this after all his waiting and quiet pursuit.

Takana lost herself in that kiss and let out a small whine when he pulled away. When she opened her eyes, she looked at the most contented expression she'd ever seen him wear. She couldn't help but smile at how young he appeared at that moment

"Thank you." She said quietly as she blushed. Even though they had been lovers in the months preceding her coming here, it felt as though they were starting all over again. This had felt like their first kiss. She was both filled with longing and yet grateful that he had stopped it when and where he had. He easily could have done more. She knew that she wouldn't have stopped him but he had out of a respect for her. It brought more tears to her eyes just thinking about it.

His reply to her thanks was simple and perfect. He smiled. She absolutely loved to see his smiles. She knew they were rare and she couldn't help but feel privileged to be the one that earned them.

Eyes of an unseen and unnoticed party quietly took in the tender scene before slipping away to complete another task.

Sarath looked at the fragment of a sentence that the newest missive comprised.

_more than mere affection...lovers _

This was just more good news. He wondered just how long events would continue to play out in his favor.


	33. Brothers In Arms

**Chapter Thirty Three – Brothers In Arms**

"Do you think he's planning something?" Tomo asked as he looked over the reports from the western border.

"Sarath is always planning something; the question that must be answered is what." Sesshoumaru stated as he looked across the field to the group of soldiers that were currently training.

"He's been slowly amassing a larger and larger army steadily over the past year and a half, soon after your...extended absence began. We didn't even notice it at first and we weren't concerned when it did come to our attention since he seemed to be concentrating his numbers around his capital only. But now that he's moving them to the boarder, I can only guess that he's planning some kind of invasion."

"So it would seem." Sesshoumaru turned his attention back to his concerned general.

"But if he did, even with the numbers he's put together so far, we'd still crush him. We wouldn't even break a sweat in the task."

"Sarath is not a fool. I doubt that is what he has in mind."

"Some sort of diversion perhaps?"

"Perhaps. For the moment, we will fortify our boarders out of precaution. We need to know more before we act."

"Agreed." Tomo nodded at the assessment. It was what he would have done if Sesshoumaru had still been away. He wasn't so much concerned at the Eastern Lord's actions as he was confused. There had to be more to in than what they were seeing. Something was going on and Tomo only hoped it wouldn't take them too long in discovering just was that 'something' was.

"Oh my gods! Oh my gods, I can't believe I finally did it! I won! Oh my gods!" Takana had completely forgotten herself as she burst up from the table and threw her hands up to her smile plastered face.

Yuti laughed at her sudden outburst of excitement. "I had no idea it meant so much to you." She lied. It amused her just how similar Takana's reaction had been to her own.

"I just can't believe I finally did it! I mean we've played how many games...fifty and I can finally say I won? Ancestors be praised. I never thought it was going to happen."

"You deserve it child." She said in all sincerity but all too quickly a devious smirk appeared on her face. "And quite frankly, I was getting a little tired of winning all of the time."

Takana stopped in her little victory dance, her eyes narrowing.

"I do hope this means you're improving because if my boredom were to go on much longer, I might just have to find someone else to play against." Fat chance of that, she much preferred constant winning to losing all of the time.

Now Takana's face morphed to one of dismay and pretend hurt. "Why you..." She picked up the empty bone pile sack and flung it at her general protector. Yuti easily caught the slow moving projectile before immediately launching it back at her ward. The little sack flew quickly and true, landing harmlessly on Takana's face. The move did take the human by surprise, making her jump a little before bursting into laughter.

"I forgot just how quickly you can move. Must be all that military training eh?" She asked as she pulled the stubborn sack from its perch on her nose before tossing it to the table.

"I had many brothers as well." Yuti laughed. The human's reaction had been priceless but now she noticed that another reaction was occurring on the humans ever changing and expressive features.

"Really?" She asked as she took her seat once again, her victory completely forgotten. "How many?"

It took a moment for her train of thought to catch up with the day's game winner but when it did, she answered. "Four." She smiled at her obvious interest.

"Wow! Are they older or younger than you?"

Yuti smiled but it wasn't a fully happy one. "One is older, the rest were younger than myself." It took a moment but Takana caught the general's phrasing and immediately she felt sorry for asking. Yuti, having grown accustomed to how quickly human emotions could switch from one to another; saw the change that quickly settled over her friend.

"It was a long time ago; you do not have to be sorry about asking."

"I didn't know." Takana said softly.

"How could you have? It was a hundred or so years before you were even born. As I said, do not worry yourself over it." Silence reigned between the two for several uncomfortable moments as Yuti retrieved the sack and began placing the tiles back within it.

"I had a younger brother too." Takana finally broke the silence. "His name was Shin." She choked on the word slightly but for more reasons that Yuti knew. "We were fishing a few miles away from our village when we were attacked by a youkai. He killed my brother when Shin tried to defend me. I...well, I survived."

Yuti closed her eyes at the sad tale. I seemed this woman and she shared more than their mutual dislike of loosing constantly at games.

"Do you know the story of Sesshoumaru's father?" Yuti asked after a moment,

The question threw Takana. Dumbly she shook her head no. Despite the unusual subject change, anything that related to Sesshoumaru, she found she wanted to know. Besides, this was the first time that she and Yuti had really talked beyond the mundane and trivial topics of idle chitchat that two people who were still on the verge of forming a solid friendship engaged in.

"Before he died, a series of unusual events took place that lead directly to his downfall. There was already some unrest here in the Western Lands due to some of his previous and ongoing actions and when he died, the tension that had been building broke the walls of our land's civility. War broke out within the ranks of the under lords. A great many of them believed Sesshoumaru was too young to maintain control over the lands and they were quick to try and take advantage of the situation." Yuti was staring out the balcony window at the clouds as they slowly passed far overhead.

"No one came through that war without having lost something. We all lost family. My younger brothers gave their lives defending the integrity of the Western Lands. They like my self and Sesshoumaru would not see it torn apart by the greed of a few fools. My mate Tomo lost his first mate and a newborn daughter before stability was regained."

"How awful." Takana was near tears. She'd had no idea. It had all taken place so long ago and the affairs of the youkai world were not readily discussed amount peasant villagers. She'd heard of Sesshoumaru before but only as the youkai lord of the lands they all lived in. She'd heard of his cruelty and ironically enough, his hate of humans but now she knew so much more. He too had lost family to tragedy and had endured incredible hardships in his life. Even though they had become much closer lately, this information seemed to make the last of her resentment toward him melt away.

"At least you weren't left alone...I mean, you still had your older brother when it was all over, right?" Takana saw Yuti smile sadly. "Yes but he was not the same. Then again, neither was I nor anyone else that lived through it."

Takana nodded. She knew about war and it's affect on her own kind, it shouldn't surprise her that youkai would be susceptible to the same affects of such atrocities. It seemed the more she was here, the fewer differences she saw between human kind and youkai kind.

"Are the two of you still close?"

Yuti laughed. "I suppose you could say that. Sometimes I didn't think so but lately...I see that he thinks more highly of me that perhaps even he ought to? I think he trusts me with things that are far too precious to him."

"I'm sure he knows you well enough. I mean, I've only known you for a short time and I feel like I could trust you with anything now." When Takana saw Yuti's smile brighten once more, she continued. "So just what is it that he's entrusted you with?"

Yuti's smile transformed into a light chuckle and before Takana could ask her what was so funny, the general told her.

"Why, that something is...well...it's you of course."


	34. Cravings

**Chapter Thirty Four – Cravings**

Takana happily and hungrily swallowed the last of her meal. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to savor the last of her tasty treat. It had really hit the spot. When she opened them again, she turned to thank the cook once more only to find the little inu looking a bit pale.

"Oh, it's not as bad as it sounds. It was actually very good." She reassured the peaked looking youkai.

Sura just raised both of her eyebrows while taking a deep breath. "Never in all my years have I ever heard of youkai or humans eating rice, liver and sticky plums all mixed together." She shook her head. "And I don't think I'll be too upset if I never do again."

"If you had just tried it..."

"Never. You'd have a better chance of convincing me I'm a neko than ever getting me to eat any of that mess." Sura said forcefully as she took Takana's bowl away to be washed.

"Humph, a neko would probably appreciate it." Takana laughed.

"And that my little friend is exactly why I am thankful to have been born an inu."

Takana just laughed. "Well, even if you are silly for not even trying it, you are still too kind for calling me 'little' because I feel absolutely monstrous lately." At six months pregnant, her stomach no longer looked like she was just putting on a little weight. It officially stuck out farther that her breasts did. Even though she knew it was just her imagination, she felt as though her kimono made fewer wraps around her when she was dressed. In fact, she was starting to detest the garments. They had been fine when she first arrived here with Sesshoumaru but it was cold then and she had been smaller. At the time extra fabric was actually welcome but now it was getting too hot and she felt stifled by it. All she wanted to wear were her old cloths or even something along the lines of what Yuti wore. The female general's was actually along the lines of Sess's clothing but tailored more for the female figure. Maybe if she gave him her pathetic eyes, he'd acquiesce. Though he hadn't been too receptive to her wearing her old cloths, maybe he'd go for something else. Gods, she'd be happy with anything else besides these damn kimono. They were beautiful but beauty be damned, she wanted comfort in her current state and that was it.

"You look absolutely adorable Takana. You make me want to have one of my own, you're so cute." Sura chirped excitedly now that the evidence of the human's strange desire for disgusting food had been cleared away.

Takana laughed. "You're a very good liar Sura."

"Me? I'll admit that I can be when I want to but that is not what I'm doing now."

"I knew there was a reason I liked you." She always felt so at ease around Sura. The happy little cook never missed an opportunity to chat with her. It was something that couldn't be said for most of the servants in the shiro. It's not that they were rude or dismissive but they all seemed to be unsettled when around her. When she'd asked Yuti about it, she'd explained that it was not her that made them nervous but Sesshoumaru. Most guests of their lord did not try to be friendly with the servants. Most didn't even acknowledge them, let alone try and converse with them. Sura was the exception. She was just overly friendly. Her profession before coming here had lent her to being talkative with all manner and status of creature. It had been her job to make people feel at home and that training had apparently become apart of Sura's nature.

"I thought it was my cooking that you liked?"

"Oh, gods yes, that too but so much more. I've come to think of us as friends. I hope you feel the same way." Takana didn't care why Sura was so friendly. All that she cared about was that she was. It was hard living here even if Sess and Yuti were as good to her as they were.

Sura's eyes absolutely glowed. She practically squealed out her response. "Of course I do. You are far more interesting than anyone else here. I'm so glad that Yuti first brought you here even if your choice in cuisine has taken a turn for the worse lately."

The smile on Takana's face never left until her look of mock hurt replaced it. She couldn't hold the expression for long however and quickly began laughing. "You'll have to blame that on the little one I'm afraid. I'm sure it will all get back to normal after the birth."

"I can't wait to see your pup. I've never seen a human baby before. Do you think it will look like you or the father?"

The question gave Takana a reason for pause. She thought about that a lot. She still didn't and probably never would understand just what had happened to Sess to make him human but she wondered if it would have an effect on their child. Though it wasn't huge, there were definite differences between the way he looked now and the way he had looked when she first found him. Would the child look like the human him or the youkai him?

"I don't know." Takana said more to herself than in answering Sura's question. She didn't notice Sura's drastic change in expression or manner until she heard her speak again.

"I'm so sorry."

Confused, Takana tried to focus back on their conversation. "Sorry...what do you mean?" She asked before thinking everything through.

"I just thought that...never mind, it's none of my business. Sometimes I just let my mouth run away with me."

Not wanting to worry her friend, Takana immediately set to soothing her fears. "You didn't say anything wrong so you have nothing to apologize for, in fact, I still don't know just exactly what it is that you're apologizing for."

Sura paused a moment, considering if she should explain herself. When she finally decided to take the chance, she spoke. "I just thought that since you said you didn't know that you..." She paused a moment.

"It's alright, go ahead." Takana said for encouragement.

"That you...didn'tknowwhothefatherwas." She said the last words so fast that they all seemed to run into one another.

It took a few seconds for Takana to sort through the jumbled mess in her mind before coming to the realization of what she'd said. The moments she came to that understanding, it must have shown on her face because Sura immediately launched into another bout of apologies.

"Oh, I'm so sorry; I knew I shouldn't have..."

Takana quickly pulled herself together, able to forget her own shock at the almost frightened fretting of her friend. "It's alright." She couldn't fully keep the emotion out of her voice. "I'm the one that insisted you ask."

Silence fell over the pair. Sura was fidgeting with her hands as Takana stared at her own as they sat folded on the table. Just as the cook was going to excuse herself to clean up the kitchen, Takana kept her there with her words.

"I do know the father." She started. "He..." She paused, trying to find the right words. Sess had told her to not reveal his role in the pregnancy until his go ahead. He'd said that it was for her and the baby's safety. She wanted to tell Sura but dared not to. She knew that Sesshoumaru didn't say things like that on a whim. If he said it, then it was important and if the baby's safety was involved, there was no way she would do anything to endanger it.

"He left one day suddenly and...I never saw him again. But Lord Sesshoumaru...he decided to take care of me in Shin's place."

Sura only nodded. She had no intention of asking any more questions tonight. She'd learned enough for one night but as she began cleaning up after the meal, she couldn't help but recall the name Shin. Hadn't Takana mentioned having had a brother by the same name and that he had died a long time ago. Even though the two undoubtedly had nothing to do with one another, it refused to leave her mind.

AN: Let me address a few comments I've had concerning the last couple of chapters that will undoubtedly encompass this one as well. Having only one of the original Inuyasha characters in the story, I try to do a bit of character development with my creations. This explains why my plot may move a bit more slowly that others you might have read. Also, though it may not always seem like it, nearly everything that goes on in a chapter has some significance to plot though it may not be immediately apparent. I hope that clears up some concerns, if not...sorry, I just don't know what else to say.


	35. Keeping the Peace

Chapter Thirty Five – Keeping the Peace

Tomo perused the youkai-made blades with a critical eye. It was going to need to be perfect. Anything less would not do. One dagger that was the right size was beautifully encrusted with a variety of jewels but it was out of the question. She'd think it was gaudy, the stones making it impractical for any real use other than decoration. He needed something that defined her, which she would love and that would get him out of the proverbial dog house.

How was he supposed to know that she'd developed such a liking for Sesshoumaru's human? Just because their lord and her brother had gone a little strange, it didn't mean that she to follow his example. Perhaps the proclivity ran in the family. Their father had it, their hanyou brother had it and now... Hell, if he and Yuti weren't officially mated, he might just be worried that she'd go off and find her own human.

Dismissing the thought as pure foolishness he looked at a short sword briefly but quickly dismissed it when he noted its curvature. She'd think it was too straight. He huffed again, his thoughts returning to his current predicament. He certainly didn't think what he'd said had been all that bad.

Perhaps a set of throwing knives might be nice. She'd mentioned once that she might like to gain proficiency with them. Tomo walked over to the selves that contained a large variety of knives suited to just that purpose. Quickly scanning them, he finally saw something that might suit his needs and her tastes; a set of five well balanced, green tinged blades. He studied them for some time, looking for any sign of defect or any reason she wouldn't like them, all the while wishing that she was the type of woman who liked jewelry or fine fabrics. Life might be a little more simple is she were and he probably wouldn't be in this mess now. He smiled to himself at the thought and found, even after all of this foolish behavior of late, he would never regret his choice of. If she had been like all the other females, he probably never would have pursued her in the first place.

Once more his thoughts turned to the cause of his current quest. He hadn't intended on being rude, Yuti just took it that way. When it was all said and done, he really didn't have any problem with the human. He personally didn't understand the proclivity but that didn't mean he disliked her. He just didn't see what the big deal was with wearing kimono. If Sesshoumaru wanted her to wear one, why shouldn't she and in essence that's all he'd said to his mate. He shuddered at the memory of the look she'd given him. Then she'd said something utterly ridiculous, something about making him wear one for a month and seeing how much he liked it. He sighed again. These knives would have to do and he said as much to the vendor who proceeded to package them while they argued about the price. Once both men were satisfied, he paid and left. He was still so absorbed in his own thoughts about difficult females that he didn't even notice Lord Yaruko entering the shop he'd just left.

"General Tomo!" A hearty voice called out to him. "Too busy to talk to an old friend?"

Tomo snapped out of his little world and focused his attention on the voice he recognized all too well.

"Lord Yaruko," he laughed, "of course I'm not." Yaruko spied the package that Tomo carried and grinned. "It's just like you to buy yourself a new weapon and be able to focus on nothing else."

Tomo smiled. Though Yaruko was wrong on this occasion, it hadn't been a bad guess. Yaruko was a fairly old youkai, at least 500 years his senior and one of the most respected under lords in the Western Lands. He too had once been in the military and had actually been the general commanding Tomo when he'd been little more than a pup. He'd served under him for nearly a century before Yaruko begrudgingly retired. The two remained close however, Tomo filling him in on current military business and Yaruko retelling old war stories that never seemed to get old.

"If only that were the case, it's actually something for my mate." Tomo corrected the misjudgment.

Yaruko's smile only broadened. "It would be you to find the rare female that enjoys such things. How is Lord Sesshoumaru's sister?" He asked.

"Hopefully better once I give her these." Tomo grumbled more to himself than to the old lord.

"What! You've been mated less that a year." He chided. "What foolish thing did you do to have to buy back her affections my boy?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." He answered only half honestly.

"A word of advice from a man mated longer that the two of you pups have been alive combined." He leaned in conspiratorially. "She right. It doesn't matter what it is or if you think it's the most ridiculous thing in the world. She's always right. If you don't learn that, soon you'll have supplied young mate with an armory to rival the armies of all four lands." The old youkai slapped Tomo on the shoulder. Tomo just rolled his eyes. "Here, I'll walk with you. I can finish my shopping another time."

"I'd be a pleasure." And Tomo meant it. They walked together casually in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Yaruko finally spoke, having waited to get out of the thicker crowds of the bustling trade district."

"I was also wondering if I might off you some other... more official advice." Tomo immediately noticed the change in the older youkai's tone. It was no longer the jovial sounding man who'd experienced the same female problems in the past but rather the youkai lord who'd had too much experience in most things important over the years to be taken lightly.

"Your council is always welcomed Lord Yaruko. What else is it that I can learn from you today?"

The youkai took a moment to compose his thoughts before continuing, a clear sign that this was indeed important. "It is concerning our young lord." Yaruko began. "There seems to be some rumors floating around pertaining to the human female he brought back with him upon his return."

Tomo nodded. He'd wondered when her presence would begin to stir up problems. He'd been amazed it had taken this long. He waited for Yaruko to continue.

"There have been many circulating since she arrived but until lately they have been of the, oh shall we say, the more harmless variety." He paused a moment as they continued on. "More recently however, they have taken on a more sinister quality."

"How so?" Tomo asked, knowing full well that Yaruko would explain it to him anyway.

"It seems that some believe Lord Sesshoumaru intends to take her as... well, as something more than the last one." The old let the words sink in. He wanted to see how Tomo would react to his words but like the loyal general and advisor he was, whatever he might be thinking did not make itself know in his countenance. The old youkai was duly proud of his more it. "You well know the complications that such an action could cause. Many blame the Traitor's War on the somewhat similar actions of his father. While I disagree with that assessment, it is not my personal opinion that matters but the perceptions of the majority."

"The Inu No Taisho died because of Ryukotsusei, not because of his human female's jealous human suitor." Talk of this always angered Tomo. It was idiotic to think that a mere human had brought down the great lord. Why anyone lent it credence was beyond him.

"I agree General Tomo, but it is not _our_ opinions that must be considered here."

Tomo nodded. He knew that Yaruko was right. Most did blame the human hime for the great dog general's demise, as ridiculous as the notion was to Tomo. The mob does not always wish to see the truth for what it is.

"Some worry that history is repeating itself." The two walked in silence for a few moments before he continued.

"There is one other rumor that bothers me and one that I don't fully understand. It's not so much the rumor itself that gives me cause to consider it but more why it persists." He looked down at his aging, clawed hands when he spoke next; it was in a voice that was quieter than before. "It is being said that the child she carries...is that of our lord's."

"That's ridiculous!" Tomo barked out a little too loudly before lowering his voice to continue. "Everyone saw her at the fall festival, including you. We purposely placed her where everyone could determine for themselves that her condition was the result of a purely human mating." Tomo was angry. How could people be so stupid? When did seeing with one's own eyes start being trumped by sake-room rumors? It was beyond ridiculous, it was insane!

"That is precisely why it bothers me Tomo." Yaruko continued in the same manner as before, unphased by the younger youkai's uncharacteristic outburst. "Normally, outrageous rumors such as this die quickly, but this one has been persisting, growing in strength even. Why? I can't even begin to fathom but I have a feeling that its long life may be of greater concern than the rumor itself."

Tomo frowned while considering the implications of why that rumor would last. Yaruko was right, there had to be more to it than what they were seeing. "Who's spreading that rumor?" Tomo finally asked.

"Judging by the fact that I've heard it from at least five people already, my guess..." Tomo cut him off, the look of death in his eyes.

"Loki." He growled.

"He has always been quite proficient at causing problems of this nature but as always he's the master of the rumor mill. There's no way you'll be able to trace it back to him. He's too good at covering his tracks in matters such as this. If it's even him. It's a shame really, if he'd ever directed his talents into more constructive pursuits instead of his constant mischief, he might not have been a half bad youkai when it was all said and done."

Tomo just growled. He had always harbored a severe dislike for the lowly lord. Though nothing had actually happened while Sesshoumaru was away, he'd been the ringleader in stirring up discontent. Some had actually begun to speak openly about leadership change. Of course it was all said in a way that could not be considered treasonous, such as expressing concern over the lack of an heir apparent.

Such talk, if Sesshoumaru had remained absent for much longer, could have become dangerous for the remaining family members of the Western Lord. Namely, Yuti. She and Sesshoumaru were the last surviving members of the great family. Well, full-blooded members anyway. The hanyou rarely made an appearance these days. He used to stop by from time to time to check in on Sesshoumaru's first human but after she died, his appearances had become few and far between.

The dangerousness of the situation had actually been the reason for his and Yuti's last minute mating. If the grumblings of a few had become the consensus of the many, her life would have been in jeopardy. Reason being, power changes of this rank, historically, required the extermination of the remaining family. A new lord would not want the possibility of the threat of the next generation trying to regain control. Put simply, you wipe out those that would have legitimate claim to the position. But since Yuti mated him, a youkai from a respectable but far lower ranking family, she was no longer in danger. Any of her offspring would carry his family name, not hers. She gave up a great deal through the match: title, position and her offspring's inherited rights. Had Sesshoumaru been there, he never would have allowed the match despite his personal like of Tomo. However, as acting lord, Yuti was able to claim the authority to make the decision on her own.

Through the two were quite happy to finally be together, neither liked the underhanded was it was gained. However, Yuti never would have agreed to it had it not been for the tenuous and worsening situation.

The strangest part of it all had taken place after Sesshoumaru returned with his human. He'd barely expressed any disapproval over their joining at all, even before Tomo had explained. But the truly remarkable act had been when he's actually given the couple his belated blessings. To say that he and Yuti had been shocked, would have been an understatement. Giving his blessings was tantamount to saying he would have approved the unlikely match even if he'd been there.

Yuti had been so touched by the gesture that she had thrown herself into her job of watching over the human, never once begrudging that it took her away from her hard fought for and unusual position as a general.

Tomo smiled to himself. Maybe that was why she'd become upset with him. Any slight on the human, no matter how small, was a direct blow to her decision to place the human at such a high priority in her life. And in a smaller sense, it was a blow to the graciousness of her brother's unusual but graciously received pronouncement.

As Tomo thought about this, he and Yaruko had reached the edge of the merchant district. The two had walked silently together, Yaruko seeing his friend's need for reflection.

"Lord Yaruko." Tomo finally spoke again. "I would very much appreciate it if we spoke about these matters again in the future."

"Of course my boy, I'd be more than happy to." He understood the humble reqest for him to keep his eye out and ears out for any other strange happenings. He paused a moment but continued again with a sly grin spreading across his face. "But you'd better get going with that gift of yours. Best to fix that which close to you before attempting to overcome what we don't yet understand."

Tomo couldn't help but smile, all the more grateful for this particular friendship. "With that, I agree completely my friend."

The two bowed lightly to each other before heading off on their respective paths. Tomo headed back to the shiro at a quick pace, eager to give his gift but filled with apprehension at sharing the strange news with his lord.

AN: Well, I'm back again after a little vacation and with a fairly long chapter (for me anyway). Hope you liked it even though it has been a while since the main pair have made an appearance. I promise you'll get your Sess fix next chap and it should be out fairly soon at that. Happy reading!


	36. Verbal Outbursts

Chapter Thirty Six – Verbal Outbursts

Takana paced nervously inside the sleeping chamber of Sesshoumaru's private quarters. She was still a little surprised at the tenacity he'd displayed that morning. She stopped a moment in her nearly frantic pacing and took what was supposed to be a series of deep calming breaths. However, they only served in making her feel a bit light headed and not calm in the least.

It just seemed a bit strange, he'd been moving so slowly with her before this. It had begun with the little, but _very_ powerful kiss in the gardens. Then it had been his touches, very subtle ones but with definite intent. He would touch the small of her back as they walked, or embrace her from behind while she stood on the balcony and lightly rest his chin on top of her head. He'd even kissed her neck now and then, igniting her want for him and reminding her of his continued desire for her but never anything so...well blunt. She hadn't known what to do or even say. His request along with when and where he'd issued it had left her completely unprepared for any semblance of a witty or even intelligent reply. She'd merely nodded, dumbfounded. He hadn't given her any time to take back her decision either, quickly making his exit.

She'd just sat at the table as Sura cleared away the breakfast dishes in a state of utter shock. Only when her legs started cramping from sitting in the same position for too long, did she finally realize just how long she'd been there. As she stood, his request repeated itself in her mind, filling her with equal parts anxiety and excitement.

"_Will you join me in my bed tonight?_"

Just hearing the words again in her mind took her breath away and caused her to feel little tingles in areas she'd been trying to ignore lately. She wanted to smack herself in the forehead. All she'd done was dumbly nod her head before he left. What he must think of her! She felt herself blush for probably the tenth time in the last hour. Why couldn't she have said something...anything to him? It's not like this was going to be their first time. They had been intimate with one another lots of times.

She kept repeating that in her mind but couldn't quite make herself feel as casual as it sounded in her head. It was all because of the little voice that chimed in every time she tried to calm herself down that way. Yes, she had been with him in that way before but she had never been with him like this before. And his manner of asking didn't help either. He could have been a bit more subtle, maybe just hinting at it during any of their dozens of little romantic moments. But no, he had to just blurt it out while she finished her soup.

"Arggg!" She threw up her hands and stomped over to the bed. She sat down on it in a very undignified manner and just buried her still flushed face in her hands. The waiting was torture too...it was nighttime after all and Yuti would probably be wanting to get out of here too. Just where the hell was Sesshoumaru and why was he taking his sweet time. Didn't he know what he was doing to her? All this anxiety couldn't possibly be good for the baby. She reached down to gently rub her swollen abdomen. He just had to wait to do this until she was six months pregnant too! Yet one more little anxiety to add to the rest. Did he really know what she looked like under all this fabric? She had never been one of those tiny little women but she had also never had anything near the size of the belly she now sported. What if he did finally show up, she found the courage to go through with it only to have him be disgusted with the sight of her once she was nude.

Her hands left her belly to firmly grip the sheets she sat on. Maybe that was why he was taking so long. He was waiting until it was too dark to see her. Well, she thought indignantly, if that was the reason, he could just forget it. She wasn't about to give herself to someone who found her repulsive.

"Argggggg!" She growled to no one as she let herself fall back onto the bed, only to quickly roll onto her side. Lying on her back had become uncomfortable lately, her swollen belly making it hard for her to breath in that position. Sheepishly, she corrected herself. She seriously doubted that he found her repulsive. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Whatever it was that was going on, all she knew was that he'd better hurry up and get his ass in here before she thought up something really bad and really ridiculous. The longer he kept her waiting, the more he was putting himself at peril. That was all she could really be sure about at the moment.

When she heard the outer doors open, her stomach did a little flip. She hurried out of the bed chambers and into the ante room that separated the sleeping quarters from the rest of his private domain. With as much anxiety as excitement, she quickly slid open the door only to find that it was just Tomo come to check on Yuti. She sighed and walked back into the ante room. She sat down on a soft chair and huffed. When she heard Yuti make an uncharacteristic squeal of delight, she turned her head to see the youkai female getting some kind of gift from her mate. She couldn't help but smile but it reminded her of Sess and his continued absence. Just where was he?

Sesshoumaru read over the same scroll for the hundredth time, still not comprehending its contents in any way what so ever. He should be going to her, he knew that, but he just couldn't bring himself to remove himself from his current position.

Why did he have to act so brashly? He was no longer an awkward pup when it came to matters such as these. Hell, he'd never been awkward when it came to matters such as these. So why was he now when it was the most inopportune time to be so? He'd just blurted it out like some kind of hentai. Hell, he might as well have asked to take her right there...that is what he'd wanted to do after all.

He pinched the brow of his nose in a futile attempt to ward off the impending, self induced headache. He just couldn't stop looking at her this morning at breakfast. More pointedly, he just couldn't stop watching her eat. Every little thing that touched her lips had only added to the smoldering feelings he was having. The worst had been when she'd sucked up the extra noodle that had tried to escape her spoon. That's when he'd said it. That's when he'd made a complete fool out of himself.

The look on her face, that was all he could think of now. What she must think of him. She'd been too stunned with his idiocy to even say anything. That's when he'd made his hasty retreat in order to save what little dignity he had left. He, Lord Sesshoumaru, the Lord of the Western Lands, running away from the possible reproach of a human female!

Oh how that mighty had fallen. What had she done to him? No, what had he let her do to him?

Now here he was, pretending to be busy in his library and hiding like some coward. Even though she'd nodded her agreement then, he couldn't help but worry that in the time since then, she may have changed her mind. What if she refused him?

"Enough!" He almost barked to himself as he stood. He was finished acting like a fool. He had made his bed and now he would sleep in it. He sighed. He just hoped that he wouldn't be sleeping in it alone. He set the scrolls aside and strode purposefully in the direction of his personal chambers. The closer he drew to his destination, the better he began to feel as his more rational side, the side he was far more accustomed to, took over. Even if she did reject him, it wasn't as though all was lost. She had been quite receptive to his advances lately, though nothing like this. It's not as if she would be rebuking him for all time...he hoped.

He was just about to turn the corner for the last leg of his journey when he and Tomo very nearly collided into one another. Both men were a little surprised by their combined lack of awareness of the other, both so caught up in their own thoughts.

"Lord Sesshoumaru!" Tomo bowed. He'd been looking for his lord everywhere. Yuti had said that she hadn't seen him all day. He'd managed to pull his mate away from her guardian duties temporarily, if only to an adjacent room, in order to give her the gift he'd found for her and to ask her opinion of what Lord Yaruko had told him of the rumors. To his surprise and relief, she was no longer upset with him, apologizing for her part in the matter as well. However, she absolutely adored the knives, promising him something that had left him fully aroused. Unfortunately, he'd had to spoil the moment by carrying on with the second part of his meeting with her. She'd found both rumors as ridiculous as he did. He was about to leave to find Sesshoumaru when he'd spied the human in the other room. She looked unusually worried about something. Had she heard? He didn't think that human ears were so keen. It was then that something in him clicked into place. He said nothing to Yuti and his goodbyes, not wanting to get into another argument after having just reconciled one and quickly strode out of the room.

He needed to find Sesshoumaru!

He was so preoccupied by his internal storm that he almost collided with his lord.

"Lord Tomo." Sesshoumaru acknowledged quickly before moving around his general to continue on his way.

Tomo was quick to recover. He needed to speak with him. "Lord Sesshoumaru, may I please speak with you a moment."

"It will have to wait." Sesshoumaru was not going to be deterred in his mission, having finally gained the resolve to face the dilemma of his own making.

"My lord, it's very urgent." Tomo pleaded.

Sesshoumaru stopped in his tracks but did not turn to face this most recent roadblock. He shut his eyes and repressed the very strong desire to sigh.

"Are the Western Lands under attack?" He questioned in a mildly irritated tone.

Tomo was caught off guard yet again. "Uh...no my lord but..."

"Has hell opened up to take us all into its embrace early?"

"Well...I don't think so..." He was completely unaccustomed to sarcasm coming from this individual but forced himself to walk up to the still turned figure of his lord.

"Then it is not urgent." Sesshoumaru stated simply and prepared to make his departure from his general. He knew that he was being a smart ass to someone that truly didn't deserve it but beyond the two problems he'd mentioned, he could think of nothing more important than getting to his chambers at the moment.

Sesshoumaru hadn't gotten more than a couple of steps away when Tomo spoke again. The general couldn't help but feel a bit irritated at his apparent dismissal. Upon retrospect, Tomo realized that forgetting your place is a very stupid thing to do. "Which rumor is true, that you will take her as a mate or that the pup is yours?"

The next thing Tomo knew, his vision had dimmed, his lungs burned with the force of expelled air and his head and neck hurt like hell. It almost felt as though he were floating. That was, until he realized he was being held by his neck, against the wall, with his feet hovering off the floor out of its comforting reach. Well, he'd gone and done it. He'd always known that his mouth would get him killed one day, he just hadn't thought that it would happen this early in life.

He looked down with some difficulty at the red eyed creature that now held him. At least he knew he'd struck a cord and if he lived, he doubted that the young lord would ever so easily dismiss him again. It was a small consolation as he realized that he couldn't take in a breath at the moment.

Sesshoumaru stood there in a rage and for a short while, it completely controlled his actions. He couldn't even give coherent thought to his anger. He just stood there holding Tomo against the wall by his neck, his grip remaining the nearly bone crushing strength it had started. Luckily for the general, Sesshoumaru regained control of himself in only a matter of moments but it did nothing for the anger. He slowly slid Tomo down the wall, back to eye level and loosened his grip only enough so that the general didn't pass out from lack of oxygen.

"What rumors?" He asked, his voice cool, calm and deadly.

"The ones…concerning…your…human." He was just barely able to get out. He'd really said the wrong thing. But Tomo was an old dog and as such, never learned new tricks quickly. "So which…one…is…it?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed fractionally more before he released Tomo all together. "If you were not my sister's mate…" He let the end of the statement answer itself.

Tomo fell to the ground coughing and sucking in badly needed breath. He delivered his next speech from the floor. "I know...", he coughed some more, "that you are my lord and that I serve you, not the other way around but I cannot serve you to the best of my ability if things as important as this are kept from me." He coughed again as he pulled himself off the floor.

Sesshoumaru turned away. As much as he hated it, he knew Tomo was right. "You don't even know what is being kept from you."

Though it hurt to speak at the moment, Tomo didn't let that stop him. "That's exactly what I mean. If you intended on taking her as your mate, there are things I could be doing to soften the impact of such an announcement. I could be…" But he didn't have a chance to finish. He'd guessed incorrectly.

"The rumor of the child is the correct one." He said quietly, almost embarrassed at how good it felt to finally said it aloud.

Tomo stopped cold, all thought frozen. In his wildest dreams, he hadn't thought that was the right choice. How could it be? "But…but how?"

Sesshoumaru ran his hand through is hair. "It is a long story." He turned his head to the side and addressed his general. "One that is probably long overdue in the telling." He then continued on his original course down the hall but motioned for Tomo to follow. It would be best if Takana aided him in telling it. Yuti should hear it as well. He would have to temporarily put off his original plans for the moment.

AN: I said I'd have some Sess/Takana action in this chapter and I did...kinda but I hope you don't hate me for the tease in that chap since they didn't even stand in the same room on this one. Trust me though, more is bound to happen between them soon. Fanfiction wins this round, they had twice the reviews! mumbled under breath so it was 2 to 1, they still won. he he, anyway, happy reading.


	37. Damsel in Shining Armor

**Chapter Thirty Seven – Damsel in Shining Armor **

Tomo and Yuti sat transfixed by the two storytellers that now stood in front of them. The tale that had just been related to them was more than unbelievable, it was ludicrous. Tomo resisted saying so, his throat had matured nicely into a simple hand print pattern of bruises and he hadn't forgotten just why it still hurt like hell. Yuti on the other hand, not having just gone through the same experience, just couldn't help herself. It was too much. Her brother…a human? And just what was this Brota? There were too many questions to ask for her remain silent.

"That's insane." All of the questions she wanted to ask would have to wait a second, she needed to try and wrap her mind around what she'd just been told. Takana shrugged at her response and made a 'what else can I say' face. Sesshoumaru did nothing. It was the reaction he'd expected. Disbelief.

"How did it turn you human?" Tomo finally asked. It seemed like the first logical one to put to the duo.

"Of that, I'm uncertain." The taiyoukai answered honestly. He usually didn't admit to ignorance but today he would make an exception.

"How long was he unconscious after you found him?" He posed to the human.

"Five days but it took a couple more before he could remember anything from the last time he awoke. I don't know if that can happen to a youkai but it isn't common in my kind. He was hurt pretty badly…everywhere." Takana hoped she was being helpful though she wasn't sure what else they could tell them that could make any difference now. She still wasn't clear on just how this had come up. All she did know was that she'd been waiting less than patiently for Sesshoumaru to return to his quarters for the night when the absent youkai had finally showed up but with Tomo in tow. The general had only been gone for a short time when here he was again.

Her immediate concern over the physical aspects of her love life were thankfully pushed to the background when the two serious looking males, not much of a change for either of them, decided that it was time to tell the story of just how she and Sesshoumaru came to know one another. It seemed to her that all of the high points had been covered already but neither Tomo nor Yuti had budged. Takana looked over to Yuti once more to find the other female looking very pointedly back at her. She saw what looked like the dawn of understanding spread across her features. Then she asked a question that had not been covered.

"When did _you_ find out that Sesshoumaru was not human, Takana?" Yuti knew there had been something missing from the tale and this was it. What they had told her so far didn't fully explain just why Takana had been so despondent when she first arrived at the fortress. She had a feeling that the answer to her question would explain it. She didn't miss the way Takana started fidgeting with her hands or the way that Sess stiffened at hearing the question and for a moment, neither moved to answer. Finally, the mother-to-be spoke but not in answer to the question, she spoke instead to the tall youkai next to her.

"Why don't you answer that one since you know the reason behind it a bit better than I do?" No one in the room missed the heated way in which she said it. Apparently some of her resentment had yet to fully extinguish itself.

Sesshoumaru cast his eyes to the little female. He repressed a sigh. This was really not the way he saw this day ending. Not bringing up this topic would have suited him just fine. Somehow he was going to get Yuti back for her scrutiny.

"The day I brought her to the shiro." Tomo's eyes widened at the information, Yuti's, however, narrowed. Sesshoumaru had told them that he'd regained his memory several months before the year was up but had failed to mention when Takana had learned of his recollection.

Yuti stood. "She had no idea who or what you were until that day?"

Sess didn't answer. He saw no need as he'd just be repeating himself.

"Yuti…" Tomo warned as he stood with her and put his hand on her forearm, almost as though he were afraid she would physically attack her brother. He could plainly feel the anger pouring off her in waves and he knew Sesshoumaru could too.

Sesshoumaru found himself in a very uncomfortable situation in which he had no experience to draw upon to combat it. Yuti was pissed and by the light in her eyes, he could tell she was about to begin yelling. She was the only one brave enough or stupid enough to do such a thing and believe it was her right to do. He was prepared to just sit through it however, since the more important thing to him right now was not his pride. If he defended himself against her attack, he ran the risk of trivializing the trauma he had put Takana through. That he would not do. He had worked hard to get where he was with her today, harder than he had on nearly anything else he'd ever done in his life. Yuti's outburst would just be born with as much restraint as he could muster.

Takana didn't miss the sudden tension in the room either, human or not, she wasn't stupid. For a moment, she basked in it but the moment she took her eyes off Yuti and placed them on Sesshoumaru, she knew she was in the wrong. This was an old argument, one they had settled. It was unfair to leave him to the mercy of his sister, even if it did make her feel good to know that she wasn't the only one who thought what he had done was wrong. Yuti's indignation came too late to be anything more than a hindrance, so Takana decided to put an end to it.

"It is in the past. There's no reason to say anything else about it." Takana said with more authority than she had said anything else in her life. "I'm sure if there is anything else, it can wait until later, right?" She asked, looking first to Tomo and then to Yuti where her gaze lingered, a silent plea to follow her lead hidden in the look.

It took a moment but Yuti finally relented. She realized after a moment, that Sess had probably already suffered enough for his choice. Takana was right in what she _hadn't_ said; it wasn't her place to accuse him. She would just have to trust that Takana had taken care of that business herself.

"Yes," the female youkai finally agreed, "I do believe you're right. It's late enough as it is."

If anyone had been looking at Tomo, they would have seen the general practically crying in relief at the averted situation. It would have been the most uncomfortable experience of his life and he'd just about had his throat crushed an hour ago, so he knew discomfort. His respect for the human, for Takana, had just bloomed. He'd have to watch her more closely in the future and for more than just her protection. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders.

"Good night, my lord." Tomo bowed and turned to leave, pulling his hot headed mate along with him. She allowed it this time since she'd just about made a big mistake. Once they were outside, Tomo surprised the hell out of Yuti by uncharacteristically picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. Yuti let out a little shout of surprise at the action, too stunned to fight it at first.

"And you're going to stay there too until we get back to our quarters. You have a promise to keep and I intend on fully seeing to it that you do."

Yuti sighed. She supposed she deserved it, so she allowed herself to be carried but if anyone saw her like this, she was going to take her embarrassment out on him.

Takana watched the couple depart and sighed with relief. As nice as it was to have the whole story out in the open with at least a couple of people, she was also aware of just how taxing it had been. She began to turn to her companion as she spoke.

"So…" but that was a far as she got when she was interpreted by a stolen and passionate kiss. Even though it surprised her, she was quick to lose herself in it as well. She squeaked when he picked her up, one arm wrapped around her mid section while the other supported her posterior, firmly pressing her body to his even with her advancing state.

"What are you doing?" She panted out when he broke the kiss to nip at her neck. She didn't ask it in order to stop him, she just was surprised by it. She assumed they'd get around to discussing this type of activity after Yuti and Tomo left but she'd thought there'd be more words involved and less lip action.

"Attempting to express my gratitude." He answered honestly in between nipping the right side of her neck and then the left. Takana moaned, too overwhelmed by all the sensations at the moment to fully comprehend what he meant by that. She didn't have to expend too much brain power in figuring it out since he decided to comment further. "It should be me doing the rescuing around here, not the other way around." He panted as he brought his line of sight back up to hers.

Takana was at a loss of words at the moment so she instead gave him her biggest, brightest smile before taking the lead and quickly kissing him. When she broke away, she demurely kissed the side of his neck before whispering into his ear.

"Maybe you could continue expressing your gratitude in the other room." She knew it was bold but at the moment, bold is just how she felt and she had to admit that it felt far better than the ridiculous anxiety she been feeling most of the day.

He leaned his head back to confirm by her expression that she meant what she'd said and that he hadn't begun hearing things. When he saw that the sincerity of her expression matched the sincerity of her tone, he gave her one of his rare tiny smiles and wasted no time in carrying her to their destination.

Ever since he realized just what a phenomenal creature she was, he had wanted her but right now, all past desires seemed to pale by comparison. He'd been waiting for this moment for what seemed like an eternity. He had never excelled at expressing his more intimate feelings with words and new he needed to and would express them with actions. He laid her down on the bed with just that intent and started to follow her down when she put a hand to his chest. A moment of doubt raced through him before she quelled it with her words.

"I can't lie on my back." She whispered shyly, some of her early boldness wearing off a little." She saw his brow furrow slightly in silent question. "It's my…my belly. It's too big for that." She said as she looked away. She prayed he wouldn't find her unattractive.

Sesshoumaru was quick to correct the situation however even though he was unaware of just what the source of her growing anxiety was. He sure as hell wasn't going to let something like not being able to lay on her back stop him. He grasped her chin and brought her back to him. "I don't think that will be a problem." She seemed to really like his smiles so he gave her another. The affect it had on her was incredible and whatever she was worried about seemed to disappear.

He capitalized on the opportunity that her improved countenance provided and pulled her back to her feet in order to deliver the most devastating kiss that he could muster while simultaneously beginning the task of relieving her of her clothing. He was pleased when her small hands began a similar mission with his clothing as well. It was nice to know that she desired to see what had been kept from them both through circumstance with as much fervor as he did.

Takana was so caught up in the moment that she completely forgot about her complex concerning the physical manifestations of her pregnancy until all of her upper garments had been removed. He kneeled down in front of her and the movement of his hands became more appraising in nature and less passionate. Any feelings of anxiety that began to manifest before she opened her eyes to look down at him immediately evaporated when she saw him. He looked almost awed as he sat there. Then he began placing quick butterfly kisses all over the roundness that had become her belly.

"Beautiful." She heard him quietly say in between kisses and she couldn't help but giggle. She'd never seen him look quite so…cute. It was a word that normally wouldn't describe the taiyoukai but at the moment, there was none better.

The moment he heard her, he looked up at her and gave her his third smile of the day. It was easily a record for him. Usually, years passed between the expression and even then it was never given out of joy but cold malice. Takana decided that she could easily get used to seeing it on him.

Seeing her smile once more, he stood and passionately kissed her lips yet again, finding it difficult to stay away from them for too long. His hands, however, were ready for new territory as they deftly finished removing the remaining garments that covered everything below. He groaned when his fingers found her ready for him already. Her little moans were enough to make him salivate. Gods he wanted her! It had been too long since he'd known her embrace and he found it difficult to carry on much more of a seduction. With as much finesse as he could muster in his increasingly excited state, he carefully guided her to face away from him. He only lost contact with her lips for a split second before she craned her neck to recapture his. It seemed she understood his intent without explanation and that she was as eager to continue as he was. Once he had her back flush against his chest, one of his hands cupped a full breast while the other moved over the fullness of her stomach and down to the apex of her legs.

Takana moaned when she felt him move against her, all conscious thought gone. She wanted this, no needed this. Only when he finally penetrated her did they break the contact of their mouths. Takana hissed at the familiar but forgotten feeling of him and threw her head back against his shoulder. He didn't give her anytime to adjust before he set a steady rhythm inside her while his fingers continued their dance in time with his thrusts. If he kept that up, she wouldn't be able to contain herself. She was already close as it was; their time spent apart had overly sensitizing her body to his touches.

"Oh Sessh…I'm…ahhh" She moaned.

"Yesss." He breathed in reply. It didn't matter if it didn't make sense. Neither really heard the actual words of the other but the intent was fully understood by both. They were beyond words, each lost in the sensations of the other. Moments later, or perhaps an eternity later, they both felt the impact of their release.

Sesshoumaru held up his trembling female, but only through sheer force of will. Slowly, he lowered them both down onto the bed, each on their sides. He cupped her body with his own and ensnared her in his arms. This is what he missed the most, to feel her heat. To know she was with him and that she wanted to be there. He'd thought at one point that he'd lost that forever but now…he never been more content with the state of things. Hell could overflow and he'd barely pay in any heed as long as she was here with him. She fell asleep in his arms and he new right then that this was heaven.

AN: There you go you lemon lovers! I finally got the two back on completely good terms. I know it took me forever but I'm content with the feel of the story's progress. A rare glimpse into the future…trouble ahead. I'm too mean a god to just let my creations stay all cuddly and happy. This is where I do some evil laughing and you all boo me. There…good. Well, happy reading!


	38. Mounting Tensions

**Chapter Thirty Eight – Mounting Tensions**

Takana woke the next morning with a soft smile painted on her lips. She was warm and comfortable though the previous night's activities announced themselves clearly enough when she decided to move. She turned her head to find that she was now alone. Pushing aside her slight disappointment as she sat up, she faintly heard quiet voices in the adjoining room. Easing herself out of bed, she quickly covered her naked form with a discarded robe and then quietly walked to the door. Having been left slightly ajar, Takana peered out to see Tomo, Yuti and Sesshoumaru all talking in quiet earnest.

For a moment she wondered if they had decided to continue last night's discussion without her until she noticed that Tomo was constantly referring to some large document that sat on one of the higher tables in the room. Stretching onto her tiptoes and squinting her eyes for a clearer view, she discerned that the document was actually a map. Tomo's voice sounded as tense as he looked, while Yuti appeared more contemplative with a small amount of confusion peppered across her features.

Sesshoumaru on the other hand had once again taken to wearing that emotionless mask that he seemed so fond of using. Not wanting to spy on matters that she neither understood nor could add to, the little human moved away from the door. She had no intention of interrupting the trio of generals in their work. She knew nothing of the planning or making of war. All she did know of such things was of the inevitable destruction and death that followed in its wake no matter its political reason. She dressed and escorted herself into the garden to complete her morning ritual of tending to the large koi that swam languidly in the cool morning waters. Today, however, it would not be the well being of the fish that would be on her mind but the little snippets of the pervious night that kept worming their way into her thoughts. Each one causing a new smile to break out on her still glowing features.

Yuti looked again at the map and the markers that her mate had placed on it to indicate both enemy and friendly positions. The Northern Lord was acting far too aggressively lately. He'd already amassed large numbers of troops in a threatening posture along key areas of the two land's shared border. Light skirmishes had, as a result, been breaking out for weeks now and was only succeeding in increasing the already tense attitude between the two powers. It was a military situation that made absolutely no political sense.

In terms of individual strength, the Northern Lands paled in comparison to the might of the West. In fact, all of the other four lands, taken one at a time, were no match for Sesshoumaru and his armies. The West was the best equipped, most highly trained and largest force of any of the others. The only thing that kept the West from gobbling up the other states was the pact they had made with one another to aid in their mutual defense if the West attempted any aggressive actions.

This pact however, only pertained to defense, not aggression. If the North had plans to attack, they would be acting alone and as such, would be easily defeated. All of these facts were the basis for Yuti's current confusion. She simply didn't see what the Eastern Lord stood to gain from such an unwise and potentially disastrous buildup.

Even though it didn't show in the countenances of the two males in the room, they too shared Yuti's confusion. It was these illogical actions that were causing the majority of Sesshoumaru's concern.

"There is more going on here than what we are seeing." He stated calmly.

"I agree." Was Tomo's distracted response as he tried to figure out just what that 'something' could be. "Unfortunately," he added after a moment, "there's nothing we can do but be on our guard. Unless you have thought of something I haven't my Lord." He voiced as he looked at the other two.

"I have nothing." Yuti added and turned her gaze to her brother. The mated couple waited as Sesshoumaru continued to stare at the map. After a long silence, he finally looked up at his generals and shook his head. He didn't like this continuing complication. He had enough to worry about at the moment, such as the grumblings of some of his under lords concerning Takana's continued stay inside the castle and within his private quarters. It would undoubtedly become common knowledge soon enough that he was indeed intimate with her as well, which would only increase said grumblings.

"Continue with the increased border patrols and bring all of the ranks into active service despite the rotation. That is all we can do for now."

Tomo and Yuti nodded their agreement. With the military discussion effectively at an end, Yuti turned to her brother.

"What will my schedule with Takana be today?"

In a perfect world, Sesshoumaru would have told Yuti that her services as stand-in protector would not be needed for the day. In a perfect world, he would spend the entire day with his Takana but unfortunately they were not living in a such a fantasy. In this world, he needed to further analyze the current military buildup along his border and also begin to take measures that should help offset the complications that his relationship with a human was beginning to cause.

"Return in two hours." He told her simply and then turned to seek out the human that had left their room for the gardens not too long ago. Tomo and Yuti took their leave when he'd left the room.

Takana allowed her fingertips to graze the water's surface, catching the eyes of the ever watchful koi. They would swim at their leisure over to the foreign objects that intruded into their realm and determine weather or not they were suitable for eating. Their soft, toothless mouths would lightly suckle at her fingers until satisfied that they were not gaining anything by doing so. They would then slowly swim off, having lost interest. A few minutes later however, they would check back once more just to make sure.

She smiled as they touched her and wondered if they were always as content as they looked. She shivered when she felt the whisper of silk settle close behind her, announcing the presence of a very welcome visitor.

"It seems even the fish wish to be near you." His deep baritone sounded from behind her.

She smiled but didn't turn. "They just hope that I'm going to feed them is all. They're always hungry it seems." Strong hands settled on her waist and effortlessly lifted her back onto his welcoming lap.

"As am I".

As simple as those three little words were, they had a profound affect on her. She flushed from head to toe, her heart fluttered a little more carelessly in her chest and a tingling down below were all evidence of his powerful affect on her. Once she was comfortably settled, she let her head rest on his shoulder and freely allowed his arms to encircle her. Even with her growing belly, he easily looped his arms around her.

"You should eat then." She replied matter-of-factly, as though she hadn't picked up on his words' double meaning.

"I intend to." He said as he began to lightly nibble at the neck that she had so nicely presented to him.

She couldn't help but laugh. Not only did his ministrations tickle slightly but this playful banter seemed so unlike him. It amazed her that he could so easily change his mood to fit the situation. When she'd spied him through the doorway earlier, he'd been wearing that emotionless face of his and now he was purring out teasing little snippets. She pulled away from him slightly and turned her head to look at him. She was surprised to see his stoic facade still in place despite the way he held and spoke to her.

"Is something wrong?" She asked quietly.

He focused on her for a moment before looking out into the distance. He wondered if he should involve her in such matters. Should he tell her of the complications that keeping her here was causing or of the military matters with the North. He didn't like the idea of burdening her with such information but he also didn't like the idea of what might happen if she found out he was keeping things from her, even if it was to protect her. He made his decision and sighed.

"The lands to the north are acting unusually though they have not done anything hostile yet." He said in a tone of voice that he hoped would not alarm her.

"That's what you were talking to Yuti and General Tomo about?" She queried.

He nodded.

"Is it serious?" She probed. He didn't make it sound like it was but she'd found that one could never tell with this man. He was too good at hiding his emotions for her not to still be concerned by something that required an early morning general to general meeting.

He paused a moment, not really wanting to admit was he was about to. "I don't know." It hurt to say but he found he would go to almost any length for the woman he now held.

Takana smiled at his admission. She wasn't a fool and knew very well just how hard such a thing had been for him to say. With little warning, she leaned back into him and kissed his jaw. When she moved to give another of the same, she found her lips pressing not against his jaw but against his lips. Gods he could move fast, she thought to herself.

They stayed there in the warm morning sun, exchanging little sentiments until it was time for Sesshoumaru to go. He left her with a kiss and a quiet promise that he would be back as soon as he could that evening. Little did either of them know but it would be some time before they would see one another again.


	39. Breaking Point

AN: heheheh, someone called me a butthead! Boy that brings back memories of when my brother and I were kids. We used to call each other that all of the time. In a review for Taming Blood, someone dropped the f bomb. I love that I insight such strong feelings in my readers! Keep it up guys. Hehe I bet you didn't expect a post so quickly eh? I love to keep you on your toes. Happy reading!

**Chapter Thirty Nine – Breaking Point**

Yuti sat in the kitchen enjoying this morning easy conversation about this and that but continually found herself distracted with other thoughts. She enjoyed it despite the fact that today was the first day that she wished she were a general once again. It was not as though she lamented her current duty or anything but she missed the anxious excitement of preparing for the unexpected. As stressful as her brother's absence had been not too long ago, each day had been filled with something new and difficult to solve. She'd loved it. Now it was happening all over again and she could only be mildly involved. She yearned to go through the ranks and check them for readiness. She thought wistfully of battle practice and weapons training. She ached to feel the rush of combat. Each time one of these thoughts persisted in her mind, she did her best to push them aside. Right now, she was doing the job that her brother had entrusted to her. She was protecting what she had come to assume was the most valuable part of his life. Though she'd never heard him proclaim it and doubted if even Takana had heard the specific words, she knew that Sesshoumaru loved the woman that giggled over a bowl of rice with the cook. Not since before their mother had died had she seen him so at ease with life. Two years ago she would not have recognized him as the Lord of the Western Lands. It was because of all of this that she pushed away her own desires and carefully protected her while he and her mate went off to prepare for what was probably going to be war.

So Yuti sat back and enjoyed the simple female companionship that would just have to be enough for now. After all, if most of her female counterparts around the land could do it, then so would she.

Takana laughed when Sura finished a rather ridiculous tale about her and her brothers when she had been young. She had a hard time believing that this tiny little thing, whose stature was even smaller than that of her own, could have beat three older brother in a wrestling match. But as Sura said, anything that got between her and what she wanted had better watch out and that day it had been candy.

Their easy banter came to a halt when Yuti suddenly pushed away from the table and stood, her hand immediately falling to the dagger at her hip. Sura had felt it so and soon joined her, her hand gripping a carving knife on a nearby table.

"What's wrong?" Takana immediately asked, completely unaware of why the room had suddenly become so tense.

"You feel it too?" Yuti momentarily ignored Takana's question in favor of confirming her senses.

"Yeah." Sura answered back quickly.

A moment later Takana felt it too.

The moment Sesshoumaru felt the change in the air; he sprinted off, along with Tomo, in the direction the pulse had come from. It was a surprise attack. Suddenly the ground shook with such violent force that even the great dog general had to concentrate on his footing. The sound of the blast immediately followed, its wake through the air palpable and its sound deafening. An entire section of the southern wall to the fortress now lay in ruin and in its place were two immense snake youkai. As the two generals and the entire eighth division that was still stationed within the city walls rushed to meet the unexpected guests, they watched as one of the great youkai opened its mouth and began to emit an impossibly large amount of demonic energy. The second serpent followed its partners lead and did the same. When the two heads could no longer be seen due to the buildup of blinding light, the two heads converged and released their terrible energies at the same time. It had been the build up of the energies the first time that every youkai in the city had been able to sense. The bold shot from the twin beasts, this time aimed at the multitude of warriors that were running to dispatch them. The faster ones were able to dodge out of its deadly path but those that couldn't were immediately vaporized, along with a good portion of that section of the city.

Sesshoumaru moved without anger or fear toward the beasts, a sense of calm surrounding him. This was his home and his life and battle was what he was supremely suited for. He knew that the creatures before him were no match for him even without Tokijin. He just needed to dispatch them quickly before they did anymore damage. He doubted they were they only combatants here today. These types of youkai were meant mainly to be used as battering rams and little more. They did the job of effectively breaching walls to allow the more durable fighters access to the inner parts of the city and as such, they'd be easy to kill. But not before they spat out a third destructive blast, this one directed much closer to the inner city and much to Sesshoumaru's dismay, in the direction of Takana. He could only pray that Yuti had done as he'd instructed her soon after he'd returned home.

"May she stay safe so that I see her safe once more." He spoke quietly as he lunged into the thick of battle.

The three females ran down the long corridor to a hidden passageway that only two creatures in all the Western Lands knew of. Sess had told her of it shortly after bringing Takana to the fortress as a precautionary measure and it had been a major reason as to why a general in his army had been chosen to watch over her. That and he trusted her above no other.

Sura kept glancing over her shoulder in nervous little jerks of her head. "Where are we going?" She asked breathlessly as they ran.

Yuti didn't answer as she carried her precious cargo. She did pick up the pace however. It was only a minute later before they arrived at a large tapestry of Sesshoumaru's father that stretched from the ceiling all the way to the floor. Takana roughly pushed the ancient article aside and pushed at what looked like an ordinary wall. Sura's eyes widened when it easily moved to the side to allow them to pass. Yuti held it open for her before grasping a vial of liquid that was stashed on the hidden side of the wall and throwing it to the floor. She watched for a moment as the glass dissolved but nothing around it. A vapor quickly flooded the area and just as rapidly began to dissipate. Only then did Yuti close the wall behind them, not even leaving their scent behind, thanks the potion she'd just released and sealing them in impenetrable darkness.

Once again, they began their quick descent through the narrow passageway. After what seemed like an eternity to a very worried and very blind Takana, Yuti set her down. A few grunts and a few loud creaks later, the sky opened up to them as the heavy door to the outside world was moved aside.

"Amazing." Sura announced. "We're outside the walls of the fortress, aren't we?"

"Yes." Yuti answered quickly but she wasn't paying attention to the cook, she was facing Takana and grasping her shoulders firmly.

"He's going to be fine. You have no idea just how good he is at this sort of thing. Even without his swords, he's still his father's son and when it comes to combat, there's no one to match him."

Takana looked into her eyes and saw truth there. She nodded.

Yuti straightened and looked past Takana to the east. "I'm going to take you somewhere safe..." But she didn't finish her statement. She suddenly looked very pale and very, very shocked but she didn't say a word. After a few tense moments, Takana couldn't take it any longer.

"Yuti, what's wrong? Yuti? Answer me!" But Yuti's eyes just glazed over, unseeing as she fell to her knees. Takana actually let out a yelp of terrified surprise as Yuti then nearly fell on top of her. When Takana looked down she saw what had caused it. There in the center of Yuti's back was a growing blood stain and in the center was the hilt of a dagger.

Takana looked up in terror as Sura bent down to wipe the blood on her hands onto the leggings of the fallen Yuti. She stood up and looked Takana right in the eye.

"That was very nice of Yuti to get us out of the fortress like that. I mean, I already had a plan in place but this..." said, pointing at the exit of the passage, "was so much better and one hell of a lot easier." Sura looked at the stunned and terrified expression on the human's face. She laughed. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat about this but we need to get going so..."

Before Takana could make a move to escape, the tiny youkai was on her, with a vial pressed to her lips with its contents pouring into her mouth, Takana hadn't even registered what was going on until Sura was firmly behind her and demonstrating a strength Takana would never have thought her capable. The traitor tilted the human's neck back and pressed her hand firmly over her captive's nose and mouth, forcing her to swallow down the vial substance. Only moments later, Takana's body became limp as the potion took effect. She would sleep for an entire day.

With that accomplished, Sura slung the limp body over her little shoulder and rushed off to the north.

Sesshoumaru along with Tomo easily pushed the invading youkai back. Too easily in fact. Both inu noticed. It was as though the soldiers were only there to keep them moving away from the fortress. If they were going to fall back so rapidly, why didn't the damn creatures retreat? Instead, a wave would attack and then fall back, only to have a second refreshed wave attack in the same manner. What should have been over quickly was taking hours to accomplish. If Sesshoumaru wasn't sure that Yuti had taken Takana safely out of the castle walls, he might have grown nervous over moving so far away from the stronghold but as it was, by now both his sister and his love would be safe in a small outpost to the east.

It was nearing dawn before the enemy finally relented and what was left of them finally scattered into the surrounding forest.

"Track them down and kill them. Spare no one." Sesshoumaru commanded to those around him.

"Shouldn't we take some prisoners for questioning My Lord?" One of his more inexperience officers asked.

Tomo answered the question as Sesshoumaru took his leave. "These were just drones. They no more know why they were sent here than we do. Just kill them so they can't attack us on another day." He explained before rushing off to catch up with Sesshoumaru.

"That didn't feel right to me the entire time." Tomo said as soon as he reached his lord's side.

"Nor to me." Was his reply. It was then, out of visual range of his troops that Sesshoumaru dashed off to the east. Tomo followed. He knew full well that Yuti would have been instructed to take Takana away from the fortress if it were attacked. You didn't become head of the guard without being able to predict a few things. And when Sesshoumaru showed no signs that he didn't want to be followed, he took it as a go ahead. They traveled for about an hour before coming to a dead halt outside of a small long abandoned outpost.

"Is this were they are?" Tomo asked, a little concerned. He didn't smell his mate or Takana anywhere.

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything. They should have been here hours ago. For the first time in a while, Sesshoumaru felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Without a word to his companion, Sesshoumaru took off toward the fortress.

He traveled so quickly that even Tomo had trouble following. His lord's silence on the matter had only made the general grow more and more anxious as time when on. It wasn't like Yuti to disobey an order, not one as important as this. He pushed these thoughts from his head and concentrated on keeping up with his lord whom he suspected was just as concerned about what was going on as he was.


	40. To Find and to Know

AN: BTW, I only had one reviewer that guessed right about Sura being a spy for the bad guys. That honor goes to junyortrakr on fanfiction. I applaud you. Also, just a head's up, I'll be traveling to DC for the next week and a half, so don't expect any updates to my stories. I plan on taking a vacation from everything and sorry but that includes this little past time as well. Till we meet again...but here's a chapter to tide you over until then. Tata

**Chapter 40 – To Find and to Know**

Takana groaned and tried to raise her head but found, to her worry, that she couldn't move a muscle. She couldn't even open her eyes or think straight. All she did know was that her head absolutely pounded within the confines of her skull, her throat burned with each attempt at swallowing and her mouth tasted worse than anything she had ever known.

It took her a long time, or what she imagined was a long time, to realize that there were sounds all around her though she could neither discern their source nor their cause. She didn't know if they were voices or the clapping of thunder. The only constant she could derive was that whatever it was, only served to intensify the ache behind her still closed eyes.

"You gave her too much." Sarath stated as the human's head did little more than lull from side to side as her mouth occasionally let slip a pained little moan.

"I didn't know what it would take to knock a human out." A small voice responded. "Apparently not too much, the dosage she was given wouldn't even calm a newborn youkai. These creatures are so fragile." The spider youkai stated as it tiptoed in front of the mostly unconscious human and tried to gauge her progress.

"Will she survive?" He asked impatiently. She was of little use to him dead. He needed her alive in order to prove the parentage of the babe in her womb. Only then would Loki have the necessary leverage to gain support from enough lords to force a revolt. Sarath still couldn't fathom that the moron actually believed him when he'd offered him aid in destroying the opposition. All Sarath ever wanted was for the Lord of the West to be deposed of his title and position and for a civil war to break out. Only then did the North stand a chance of finally ridding this island nation of the West's centuries old domination.

"It will not harm her or the young one; only cause her to sleep longer than expected." She answered.

"Good, inform me when she is lucid enough to speak and not a moment later. Timing is everything now." And with that, he left the tower room to attend to other important matters.

Sesshoumaru sprinted through the dark, winding corridor, his sense of dread mounting with each passing moment. They had not been in his rooms or the gardens. He'd even checked the damn kitchen but found nothing but old scents. He knew they had used the corridor out of the castle the moment he'd stepped inside it. The scent concealing potion was gone, obviously used by Yuti as they'd fled but they why the hell hadn't they been at the outpost. For a moment, he allowed himself to hope that maybe they'd been slow in their journey and just hadn't arrived before Tomo and he had. He knew it was unlikely but, at the moment, it was all he had.

Tomo raced along behind his lord, not allowing himself the luxury of Sesshoumaru's wishful thinking. He knew something terrible had happened, he just didn't know what and the uncertainty was killing him. Halfway through the corridor, he had finally placed the third scent that accompanied his mate's and the human's. It was the cook. Why she too would have been escaping just didn't make any sense and it left him with an unpleasant, sinking feeling.

Finally, the two men reached the end of the corridor but even before Sesshoumaru opened the heavy old door, they both smelled the scent of blood. Tomo uncharacteristically forgot his place and pushed past his lord when he saw her still body, lying face down on the forest floor.

"Yuti!" He yelled, praying to hear any kind of response from his mate. There was so much blood. He crashed to his knees and gingerly rolled her cool body into his lap, being careful of the still embedded dagger. He smoothed her silver hair out of her face and ran the backs of his fingers down a dirty cheek.

"My love," he whispered fearfully, "I'm here now, everything will be alright. I swear it."

Sesshoumaru watched for a long moment, frozen in place. He hadn't felt this helpless or impotent since long before he'd ever been human. Not since he was young all those years ago and had stood over the graves of his brothers had he felt like this. It had been that day, oh so long ago; that he had made a promise to himself to never...never be weak again so that he could protect what was important to him. Over the years, he'd forgotten just what that was. In his quest for strength, he had pushed aside everything else until he'd almost forgotten. Only recently had he begun to remember after a little human orphan began to follow him and something he'd only fully remembered after a human woman saved his life. But now that he'd finally remembered why he had worked so hard to become so strong, he once again felt weak and unable to protect what mattered to him.

Sesshoumaru was finally spurred into action when his sister coughed.

"Oh thank the gods!" Tomo groaned.

"Get her to the infirmary. I'll find out what I can here." While his voice remained calm and measured, inside he was seething.

Tomo didn't argue and immediately set off with his severely injured mate.

Even before his general was out of earshot, Sesshoumaru knew that this was a dead end. The one that had carried out this plan knew exactly what they were doing because outside of the immediate area, there were absolutely no scent trails to follow. With that, he turned back to the fortress. He would not waste precious time blindly searching the forest for a trail that may or may not exist. Instead, he would begin looking internally, where one traitor existed, there were others. Conspiracies didn't consist of just one and he was sure as hell going to find the rest of the bastards.

Sarath walked back into the tower room after having been informed of his captive's return to consciousness. It was time to get things moving before any more time was wasted. By now, the dog lord had certainly found that his prized little human was missing and that his last remaining kin was dead. When the little assassin had reported to him of her demise, his first reaction had been one of anger. How dare the little minx disobey his orders? He had half a mind to put her right back into the sex slave market where he'd found her all those years ago. However, when he'd looked at the situation with a more rational eye, he decided that the turn of events might not be all that bad.

She was one of Sesshoumaru's top generals despite being a woman. She had also been mated to the lead general of all the West's armies. By taking her out, she also dealt a solid blow to both the General Tomo and Lord Sesshoumaru. Perhaps it would work out for the best. It had better or it would be Sura's head if it didn't.

"I take it that the little human finally decided to wake up?" He announced as he walked through the door.

"Yes my lord." The spider youkai bowed with surprising grace considering all of her many legs.

"Excellent, you may leave us." The spider bowed a second time before hastily making her exit. She only specialized in the creation and use of potions. While she was pleased that her concoction had worked mostly according to plan, she had no desire to stick around to witness the repercussions of its use. She left such matters to those with the stomach for such things.

Takana heard the hideous youkai leave the room and steeled herself for her new visitor. It seemed to her now that the spider was not the one directly responsible for her current predicament as she'd first thought upon waking. Surprisingly, she wasn't terrified over what was happening to her, a little afraid perhaps but, for the most part, she was incredibly angry, angry for being brought here but mostly because of what had happened to Yuti, her friend. She hadn't had many in her life and to have seen what happened to her...she couldn't even think straight about it. What was it all for? What was so damn important that people had to be hurt because of it? But mostly, what could be so damn important about her? She'd never been important before but no matter what she did, people would not leave her alone. Right now she didn't care what happened to her; she just hoped that Yuti was alright. In fact, all that she could think about was Yuti's well being.

That all changed when she saw him.

"No..." She breathed out, her voice quavering. There, standing before her was the youkai that had killed her brother. This was the youkai that had destroyed her life all those years ago. She would never forget those red slits for eyes.


	41. Deadly Miscalculations

**Chapter 41 – Deadly Miscalculations**

"I SWEAR I DODN'T KNOW!" Loki cried out as best he could despite being suspended in the air by a very angry and very powerful taiyoukai.

Sesshoumaru squeezed harder, his claws sliced into the fat youkai's flesh like so much butter. His captive whined at the pain but didn't say anything else. When Sesshoumaru wasn't satisfied by the pace of information, he dropped the pathetic excuse for a lord. He then kicked Loki's legs out from under him and proceeded to step on his neck. He didn't ask the question again. Instead, he stood over the prone youkai and summoned his acid to his fingertips. Holding it off to the side, he began to allow the noxious element to drip to the ground off to the side of Loki's now horrified features.

"NO, STOP...PLEASE...DON'T!" The acid was now dripping so close to his face that the little splashes on the floor were hitting the youkai's cheeks and the acrid smell of just barely melting flesh began to fill the room.

Sesshoumaru listened dispassionately to the unintelligible begging of the creature under his boot. Soon, his slowly moving hand would be right above the traitor's face and then it would be no more than a thick pool of rendered fat and spent acid. The first drips fell on the side of his jaw and then the real screaming began.

"SARATH! IT HAS TO BE SARATH! I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO TAKE HER! I DIDN'T KNOW! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP!"

Even though he wanted to finish what he had started with this fool, Takana was far more important than revenge. He allowed a few more drops to fall before he pulled his hand away. Besides, Tomo would be more than happy to deal with this and Sesshoumaru knew he would do as good a job at painfully ending this lowly creature's life just as well as he could. He strode out of the dungeon cell he'd thrown Loki into and set off to retrieve what had been taken from him.

The Northern Lord would pay for this indiscretion with his life if so much as a single blemish marred Takana's flesh. Sarath had no idea what he had unleashed onto himself and Sesshoumaru didn't care what his motivation had been. He was going to get her back and he was going to get her back now. A thousand soldiers couldn't keep him from getting to her and they wouldn't.

Sarath cocked his head at her curious outburst. He'd expected some sort of reaction from the woman such as intense fear or something to the like. Perhaps even a bit of pathetic sniveling or begging on the part of her life. The reaction he got, however, was nothing short of bizarre. Instead of a face dripping with tears of terror, he was met with palpable anger and obvious hate. After a brief look of shock passed over her features, the woman who was tied to her chair looked as though she wanted to rip his head right off of his neck.

"What did you say?" He asked, unable to keep the slight surprise out of his tone.

"You bastard." Her tone was low and deadly. It was a sound that only served to intensify the serpent's current state of confusion.

"Pardon me?" This just wasn't making any sense to him.

"You disgusting, pathetic, evil son of a bi..." but she wasn't allowed to finish the tirade as a slender, coiling tail wrapped firmly around her neck, effectively silencing her.

Confused or not, the Northern Lord wasn't about to let a mere human spit such vitriol at him. He eased himself closer to her, tightening his grip on her neck. When his face was mere inches from hers, he asked, "Now tell me, do we somehow know one another?"

Sarath quickly learned that while coiling his tail around her throat ended her ability to speak, it did nothing to keep her saliva in her mouth where it belonged and off of his face. He jerked his head away as a large wad splashed right between his eyes.

"Woman, you will stop this behavior immediately." He stressed his point by delivering a sharp blow to the side of her head. Had his tail not still been holding her, she would have toppled, chair and all, to the musty, wooden floor. "Now, who are you?" It wasn't a question that he had originally intended to ask. What did he care who she was? Knowing such trivial information did nothing to further his agenda. All he wanted to know about her was whether or not she was carrying the dog lord's child. But now, with her curious and wholly unusual behavior, he couldn't help but want to know. Did she know him somehow because she certainly acted as though she must? He didn't specifically recall any particular associations with humans but he had the distinct feeling that she knew very well who he was.

Takana didn't answer. She just sat there, frozen in place by both the bindings on her body and the tail around her neck. Her eyes remained narrowed at the creature as she felt a trickle of blood run out of her nose.

"Who are you?" Deadliness lined the tone. He was not used to being ignored.

She remembered her brother's broken body after it had all happened. She remembered having to drag herself there. She remembered trying so hard not to cry. She had loved her brother too much to want to bind his soul to the earth where it didn't belong. If she had cried, he might not have been able to pass over. It had been so hard to hold him and remain silent. So many nights she'd bolted out of sleep from the nightmares of that day, from the fear of seeing this monster's face again but now that he was here, she felt no fear. She had been through too much, lost too much and gained too much to give him that satisfaction. A sharp smack to her face brought her out of her memories and back into the moment.

"Who...are...you?" It was going to be the last time he asked this woman. He was just about to grab her arm and squeeze until she responded, breaking her arm is need be. His hand had just left his side when she finally spoke once more.

"I'm the woman who will be the cause of the end of your life."

The tail left her neck and Sarath stepped back a few paces. His face was a bland for a few moments before a big grin broke out across his features. Then he laughed. It was loud and obnoxious and didn't seem to end like it should have, lasting just a little too long. When the fit ended, Sarath wiped the nonexistent tears away from his eyes and calmed himself down.

"You certainly think rather highly of yourself, don't you?" He asked in amusement. "Why do you think such a thing? You are only human, no matter what you might think of yourself."

Takana said nothing in return but that didn't bother the serpent. He didn't care if she did know him somehow. He could explore that venue another time. For now, he was going to accomplish what he originally set out to do with this little female.

"Who's the father of your unborn?" He asked. He saw her eyes widen marginally, obviously surprised by the change in topic but she quickly recomposed herself and remained silent. Sarath closed his eyes and pinched his brow. This was going to take longer than he'd originally thought.

Sesshoumaru had never moved so quickly in all his life. He flew through the air on his youkai at a pace that human eyes could barely have seen. He flew over forests and rivers, over towns and villages. He flew into the northern mountains with such a single minded determination that time itself seemed to lay down in supplication at his feet. The journey took nearly a full day to complete but that still didn't seem enough for him. He willed himself to move even faster. It wasn't until he saw the distant ramparts of his enemy's fortress that he slowed. He would be there soon. He would save her from whatever peril she'd been placed in. He only hoped that he had been fast enough.

Sarath cut the ties that bound the little human to the chair. After all, it wasn't as though she presented any kind of threat to him. Humans were so weak and fragile. He was also tired of leaning over to ask his same question time and time again. He was about to ask for that twentieth time when the door to the little room flung open and a very distressed guard burst though.

"My Lord, we are under attack!"

"Attack? By whom?" Sarath asked incredulously. The guard looked pale and shuddered in his response.

"It seems to b-be the Western Lord."

Sarath's eyes widened marginally. How could this be? He had only had the female under his captivity for the last two days. There could be no possible for the West to have mustered their army all the way here in such a short time.

"How many?"

"Sir?" asked the confused guard.

Sarath pushed the human aside for the moment, ignoring the infuriating expression on her face. He strode up to his servant. "How many strong is the West's army?"

It took a moment for the man to answer. "Just one, my lord."

Sarath wanted to laugh and almost did. Just one? Just Sesshoumaru himself? This was perfect. There was no way that the Western Lord could defeat his entire army himself. This was going to be so... Suddenly his blood froze. Though Sesshoumaru could not defeat his army, he wouldn't need to. Sarath suddenly realized his foolishness. He hadn't expected the Western Lord to act so rashly to the abduction of his human.

Sarath turned to look at the female that stood defiantly in the center of the room. He had underestimated her worth. Loki and Sura had been wrong. She was not a novelty like the last one had been. She was not a creature meant for his pleasure. It was obvious by the dog's reaction that she was so much more. It was a mistake to have taken her. This was not going to end well.

While Sarath was still confident that his army could have easily defeated a lone taiyoukai, his army was not here. They were headed for the Western Lands in preparation for the rebellion that this human was supposed to help him start. They were not here to protect his domain and the scant number of fortress guards and the single battalion of warriors was not going to be sufficient.

With a grace that only someone who knows they are going to die possesses, Sarath turned to the scared looking youkai and sent him away with orders to protect the fortress. He and the guard both knew of its futility but the youkai turned and headed off to carry out the order dutifully.

Sesshoumaru fought his way through the throng of warriors. The battlefield was choked with them, it didn't matter that he outclassed them in every way; their numbers were just great enough that it made carving a passage through them difficult. He sliced off the leg of one and sent him howling to the ground in pain. The next, he spun around and took a large gash out of his chest. And then another and another and another. He snarled in fury at his progress as it didn't move him forward near quickly enough. He needed to get to her. He needed to get to her NOW! She was in danger.

She stood again, blood dribbling from her lips as the gash in her mouth bled freely. Again, she looked straight at Sarath with nothing but contempt and defiance plastered over her face. She would not let him win. She would never let another that tried to hurt her win ever again.

"I grow bored of asking human, who is the father of the child you carry?"

Again, she said nothing but just cocked her head to the side as though she were dumb to the question. She would never give into this beast and she would not betray her love. This time, the child in her belly would not be condemned by her words to the serpent in front of her like the last had been to her father. This time she would die before she let that happen, taking the child with her is she had to. It would not be alone in its journey to the afterlife.

Sarath sighed and turned as though he were going to leave. He suddenly spun back around, striking Takana with such force that it threw her to the ground. She stayed there for a moment, pulling her breath back inside and pushing away the pain before pulling herself up again. She looked at him with defiance and distain. He would have to do far better than that.

Sesshoumaru continued to push through the throng. Every step he took, he killed half a dozen warriors but ten more would take their place. He was now howling out his mounting frustration but he pressed on, his determination only rising. He would not give up on her. He would die before he did that.

She stood and looked the youkai in the eye. Sarath walked to her and painfully grabbed her by the jaw. "This is pointless human. I already know that the dog is the father. Save yourself the pain of all this and simply tell me. Let me hear the words and I will let you leave this place. Do not and..." He pulled a gleaming blade from the waist of his cloths.

Another youkai fell and Sesshoumaru desperately scanned the distance to the fortress walls he so dearly needed to breach. They grew closer but not quickly enough. He needed to be there now.

"Well, my fragile little prisoner, are you going to tell me what I want to hear." Sarath hissed at his fragile human prisoner. She should have broken long ago. Weren't her kind terrified of his, especially the females and didn't this one have more reason to that any other? Didn't she have any sense of self preservation? Takana looked him dead in the eye and then spit a mouthful of blood onto his face.

Sarath didn't flinch or move to wipe it away. He simply looked at her. The spittle dribbled off his chin and to the cold stone floor. He'd had enough. If she wouldn't talk here then maybe... He grabbed her by her upper arm and hauled her out onto the great balcony overlooking the battle below. Sarath knew with out much inspection that his forces were losing. This was not the way it was supposed to happen but then he hadn't thought that the human variable would be such an important one. He'd miscalculated just how much the dog would risk for her and it was going to cost him as much as it was costing his army below. It no longer mattered that he would loose this war. It didn't matter that he would probably not live to see the next dawn, all that mattered was his satisfaction and that he would have.

He immediately picked out the quickly moving form of the dog lord cutting through his army like a hot knife through so much butter, headed for the fortress walls. He would breach them and he would win but now...it no longer mattered to Sarath. If she truly meant that much to him, then he would make the dog fall and he knew exactly how to do it. He pulled Takana to stand in front of him, in plain view of the throng below.

Sesshoumaru cut down three more with a single swipe of his blade. One was beheaded and the others cut so deeply that they would not be rising again in this battle or any other. He kept his focus ahead of him until he heard the scream of his enemy, the coward that would not even face him on the field of battle. He took a split second to look up toward the sound before refocusing on the men surrounding him. No sooner had he done this, than he threw his vision back up to the scene above him with complete disregard for the men he now fought. There, far above and currently out of his reach was his most hated enemy and his dearest love.

She stood in front of the serpent youkai with his blade pressed tightly against her neck.

Sesshoumaru blocked another attack and dispatched the opponent without even removing his steady vision from where his main focus remained above him.

"Do you see him down there?" Sarath asked the defiant little human. He had to respect her courage, misplaced as it may be. He didn't believe he'd ever had any creature as loyal to him as this little mortal was to that damned dog. Not even his own seed would have tried to protect him the way she was now trying to protect her lover.

She didn't answer his question but she had indeed picked her love out of the field of battle below. Her eyes never left him and she knew that he could see her too. She held her breath, terrified that she might see him fall.

"I smell your fear now." Sarath inhaled again after saying it. "But it isn't for yourself is it?" He stared down at Sesshoumaru with gleaming red, slitted eyes. "It's for _him_, isn't it?" He hissed. "Your allegiance is misplaced. He will not be able to save you. He has failed in that endeavor."

She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he had never failed her even when she believed that he had. She wanted to tell this pathetic excuse for a youkai that she loved her lord but the words never came. She couldn't speak after she felt a sudden burning pain on her throat but she never took her eyes off of her love below. Even when her vision started to dim, she gazed down at him. She grew cold and her eyes began to sag but she willed them to remain open anyway. She saw when his face turn enraged, when his eyes bled red and she wished for nothing more that to sooth away whatever pain he was feeling but she found she couldn't move. Suddenly she just couldn't see him anymore through the coming gloom and strangely enough she felt like she was falling.

Then the darkness took her.

Sesshoumaru howled out his pain when he saw her body descend to the base of the tower. The very ground shook with his rage and pain. Nothing mattered any longer. He felt himself changing as he allowed the beast inside to take control. She was dead. There was no reason to protect her from this.

The last thought that passed through his mind before he let the rage take him completely was, I failed her'.

AN: May I see a show of hands from the readers that want to kill me right now. ...Wow, it suddenly got really cold in here. This is not the end but it is quickly drawing near. The next chapter will be out within the next two days. I hope you don't all give up on me after this chapter. Well, until later...tata.


	42. The Pain of Loss

**Chapter Forty Two - The Pain of Loss**

Hours later, Sesshoumaru slowly navigated through the carnage he'd created. So many were dead, the once great fortress of his enemy lie in ruin and the creature himself was torn to pieces. Sarath didn't even fight when the beast had come for him. He'd resigned himself to his fate; he'd seen no point in trying to deny it.

Sesshoumaru reluctantly made his way over to the spot where he knew her body had fallen. His angel had fallen out of the sky and he would never forgive himself for not having been there to catch her. He had failed her. What was all this power worth if he couldn't save the one thing in his life that had ever brought him happiness? He knew the answer to that question, nothing. It was worth absolutely nothing and he wished he had never been given it back. He desperately wished he were still human, that they still inhabited that little hut together and that he could just hold her sleeping form once more. It was all that he had ever found that he ever truly wanted and now he would never know that joy again.

It was all gone. She was gone. His life was nothing now.

He looked away when he finally saw her. She lay there broken and bloody among the rubble and the bodies of countless others. He turned his eyes away, the view too much for him to handle. He stood there for a long time, not looking but unwilling to walk away. He didn't want to remember her like this but he would not leave her here. She deserved so much more than...than this sickening battlefield. She deserved more than anything he could give her. She had been a perfectly beautiful creature and life had never given her anything but pain and strife. She had never hurt a soul and shown nothing but kindness to those that shunned and used her. He would never know the strength that she possessed, and now no other creature ever would either.

Finally, he looked back to her. He moved to kneel beside her and then pulled her limp, cold body into his chest. He cradled her there, his chin resting atop her now matted, once beautiful hair. He held her there until he found the will to stand. He clutched her to him as he walked out of the blood soaked field and into the surrounding forest. He had no destination in mind; he just wanted to take her away from the terrible scene. She had always liked the open wilderness and that is exactly where he would take her. He would give that to her at least.

After walking for hours or more, he finally stopped. He hadn't let a thought pass through his mind the entire time, he just moved forward. Once his feet would carry him no further, the gates finally broke and he fell to his knees. He clutched her broken form to him and buried his nose in her hair. He squeezed his eyes shut and his breaths drew in and out in little sporadic bursts that he couldn't calm. She didn't smell like she should have. She should have smelled like herbs and fresh cut wood but instead she smelled overwhelmingly like blood and death. He started to rock back and forth as wave after wave of overwhelming agony wracked his body. She should be sitting in the gardens right now, watching the fish in the little ponds and giving them names she would forget only to have the joy of giving them new names the next time she visited them. She should be...she should...

"YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE ME!" He suddenly howled out to the very heavens as he crushed her to him. It didn't matter that the grip would have left her bruised had she been living. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn't stop the tears that cascaded down his cheeks. He didn't even care that he had never cried before in his life. He didn't care how he looked now, if he looked broken. He was broken. He didn't care about anything but the lifeless woman he held in his arms.

"I just wanted you safe." He whispered into her unhearing ear. "I didn't care that the child would be human." His voice was accented by the still sharp intakes of breath. "I didn't care that you were human. I just didn't want to lose you!" He whined. "Not now, not yet, not like this."

Like all creatures that are capable of great emotions, Sesshoumaru knew the pain of ultimate loss. He'd known rage in his life, he'd finally known love and now he knew despair.

"I just wanted you with me. Close enough to touch and I failed you." The great lord continued to rock back and forth with his precious cargo held tightly to him. "I wanted you to be happy, to never have to fear anyone ever hurting you again." He cried out the most sorrowful sound ever made. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me." He whispered again and again, over and over. But nothing he said, nothing he wished for or lamented changed her fate. She was gone and he was destroyed.

Sarath had died but it didn't matter because he'd also won.

A single tear left usually cold, uncaring and cynical eyes. Never in all the time it had known existence had it been so moved as it was now. Brota swirled around the two creatures, one dead and the other wishing that it were. This scene had never been its intention. Never had its plans turned out in such a way.

It pulled itself into the appearance it had chosen for him in the beginning and soundlessly crept out of the shadows.

"Please tell me that you have finally come to kill me." Sesshoumaru whispered quietly. All his sadness embodied within his tone. It surprised Brota that the broken creature even knew it was there.

"No." It said softly, the feminine side of the voice the only one present. "That is not why I have come."

Sesshoumaru didn't even look up. He just continued to hold Takana's broken form.

"Why are you here?" The words were so quiet and distant. "Did you come to gloat? Have I fallen enough for you?" He asked, the anger he tried to put in his voice failed to make it through as the anguish continued to dominate his entire being.

"I still hate them you know. I hate humans more now than I ever did before. How can a race survive when its best are shunned by their own kind? How do they survive when they are too damned stupid to see exactly what they have sent away? She might still be alive is they'd kept her." He shut his eyes. "She could still be alive." A tense silence fell over the small clearing.

"This was never my intention." Its voice was still quiet.

"And just what was your intention." He asked. He tried to make it sound angry but the question only sounded hollow.

"You were never supposed to survive the year, few ever do."

"Is that why you let her die because she ruined your plans?!" The anger made it through this time.

"I did nothing to cause her death. I have never interfered above making you human and then returning you to what you are now. Her involvement was purely coincidental."

"Coincidental!!" He yelled and pulled his eyes to that contradicting face for the first time. He was surprised to see no reproach there, only unmasked sadness.

"You truly did love her, didn't you?"

The question took him by surprise and he refocused his attention on her form once more. He shook his head as if to say no but then answered. He had nothing to lose, no one to impress. He was dead inside.

"I loved her life more that my own or that of any other."

Brota looked about the glade. It was a glade not unlike this one where it had originally cursed this creature to the torment he now suffered. Torment was what it wanted but not like this. It hadn't expected his redemption. It hadn't expected her courage or loyalty.

"You have changed." It sighed. "I have never seen one such as yourself so changed and it was all because of her, wasn't it?"

Sesshoumaru didn't answer aloud but gave a sharp nod of his head.

"She was a true innocent. They are quite rare." It breathed.

"Yes." He quietly agreed, its complimentary words doing nothing to ease his pain.

"She never allowed anything in her life to destroy her. Not even I am possessed of that strength. She was truly remarkable."

Sesshoumaru remained silent and motionless.

"I alter the physical form of a creature through curse but it never really changes who they are inside, just the shape they were born to but she...she did far greater simply with her heart." It laughed a humorless laugh. "And her change was more complete and more encompassing than any I have ever wrought. You are not the youkai you once were nor the human you were for a short while. I changed your form but she changed your soul. She was more powerful than us both." Brota sighed. "She did not deserve the fate she was given."

"No, she did not." Sesshoumaru shakily agreed, new tears finding purchase on his pale cheeks. The creature's words stirred strange emotions within him. It intensified the pain of his loss but also allowed him to feel pride at having been influenced so greatly by as beautiful a creature as the one he held gently in his arms.

"She loved you." Brota stated simply.

Sesshoumaru squeezed his eyes shut at that.

"She would have loved your child."

"Why are you here tormentor? I do not need you to tell me these things." He bit out through clenched teeth. "If you have no purpose here then leave me be."

Brota looked at the broken creature. "I believe that this belongs to you." With that, it turned and left. The voice drifted on the wind as it left him alone forever. "For what it is worth, I am truly sorry for her pain... and even for yours."

After a long while, Sesshoumaru looked up at what had been left, not that it mattered. He could think of nothing important enough to be of any consequence to him now. When his eyes met with the object, they grew large and he didn't dare move in fear that it might be a trick... an illusion meant to tempt and then only disappear if he moved too quickly.

There, in the center of the little clearing, only a few paces from him, was the gleaming blade of Tensaiga. After what seemed a lifetime of tense moments, Sesshoumaru gently placed Takana's still body on the ground and with shaky steps, reached out for the blade his father had entrusted to him. Never before had he been so thankful to his sire for the gift he had bestowed upon his son all those years ago. A mere hair's breadth away from the hilt he stopped. The words of his long passed father floating on the wind.

"Do you have something to protect?"

He looked back at her and closed his eyes. "Yes Father, I do." He said quietly but with more conviction than the boldest of declarations made by any great youkai before or after him. Tentatively, he wrapped his hand around the hilt.

The power of the pulse from the blade nearly knocked him flat on his back. It took him a moment to realize the reality of the situation. The blade wished for what he did with as much power as he did. With a haste he had never practiced, he pulled the blade from the ground and returned to her side. With uneven breaths, he swung the blade and prayed as he had never prayed before.

AN: Wow, I really am doing a lot of cliff hangers lately, aren't I? Well this chapter has been written for about as long as the first chapter and was one of the original inspiration ideas for the story too. Basically, I wanted to write a story where having Sesshoumaru cry was believable. So, how did I do? Did his tears make you sad or did they make you role your eyes? Also, I think I've revised this thing at least a hundred times so if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, I truly am a lost cause.

**2****nd**** AN**: HEHEHE, I have been writing hare's breath in stories for a long time…that's actually what I thought the saying was!!! My god, the things you don't even think about or question until someone points them out to you. I am such a goof sometimes! Thank you LRS-7 for pointing out the obvious that I just never really got. I'm still laughing!!


	43. They Can Come True

She felt warm, content and above all, safe. That was her first experience. Her second was the sound of a gentle breeze through the trees. Her third, a pair of soft lips ghosting across her forehead and finally she heard a whispered word.

"Please."

Tanaka smiled. She knew that voice.

"Please what?" She felt herself cradled even more tightly against his body. "Sesshou…" When she finally opened her eyes, what she saw silenced her; golden eyes filled with tears. She reached her hand up to stroke a grime-covered cheek; human fingers traced obscured magenta markings. She had a hard time believing that they had once frightened her. Right now she wasn't sure she had ever seen anything more beautiful.

Sesshoumaru leaned into her touch, a touch he never expected to know again. He didn't dare even breathe, too afraid that he'd shatter this dream. He chanced turning his head to let his lips press against her palm.

"You saved me." Takana finally managed to whisper out.

He gripped her tighter at hearing her words and found he was too overwhelmed with emotion to suppress an unrefined half laugh, half sob. "And you me." He managed to whisper into her hand. He was passed caring if he said or did something some might consider foolish or beneath him. Passed caring about anything but her. "Never leave me again."

Takana smiled, a tear rolled down her cheek. "I could never leave you." She pulled his face to hers and pressed her lips to his. It was the sweetest feeling she'd ever known.

He responded in kind but didn't seem satisfied with just her lips. He left desperate little kisses on her every inch of her face before pulling her back to press her whole being to his once again. He never wanted to let her go. "I thought I'd lost you."

"I wasn't ready to go." She mumbled into his shoulder. "But I am ready to go home." She managed to pull slightly away from his iron grip and look back into his eyes. "Take me home."

He had no more words so he just nodded. He rose from where he'd been cradling her and took them home.

Takana sat next to the youkai general who was recovering well from the near fatal wound she'd received from the treacherous inu cook. It had taken two days before she regained consciousness but by then the external evidence of the wound was little more than a fading scar. It seemed that pleasure slaves turned spies didn't know exactly how to use a knife to end life. Yuti now sat propped up by a generous number of large pillows.

"Sess says he will come to see how you're doing this evening."

Yuti laughed, if a bit less heartily than she might normally. "He's been here to see me everyday since I woke up, he has better things to do than checking up on me. I'm going to be just fine."

Takana shrugged but a sly smile played across her lips. "You'd think that he cared about you like a sister or something." She placed her final tile on the board. "I win again."

"You truly are terrible, taking advantage of an injured woman." Yuti chastised, purely in jest. She shook her head in mock disappointment. She saw her opponent's sly smile.

"A little human like me could never take advantage of you, let alone one as… encumbered as I am." She said while rubbing her hand lightly over her imposing belly.

Yuti simply shook her head and rolled her eyes. She was about to deliver a quip of her own when her attention was drawn to the doorway. "I'm fine, I swear."

"You are not supposed to be sitting up like that yet." Tomo walked into the room. "You only had one more day to wait but here you are," he gestured at her, "will you never do as you're told."

Yuti had the grace to actually look contrite. "But I'm fine really." She tried to placate her disappointed mate. "It's barely even sore anymore."

Takana decided that now would probably be the best time to excuse herself. The two would probably like to spend some time alone together, something they hadn't been able to do much of lately.

She said her goodbyes and let herself out. Her large guard of escorts came to attention the moment she appeared. She smiled at them and had them lead her back to the quarters that she and Sesshoumaru shared. She thanked them before entering her rooms alone. It had taken a while to get used to the ridiculous number of protectors Sesshoumaru had assigned to keep her safe but she hadn't protested. She knew he wouldn't have changed his mind regarding this. It made her smile.

As she often did when alone lately, she replayed the last few weeks events in her mind. She still found certain parts hard to believe.

She had died.

Her hands moved to her stomach, caressing the taught flesh and what it contained. The youkai that killer her brother all those years ago had succeeded in killing her as well.

She walked to the balcony and looked down at the private gardens beneath it. She'd been unable to pull all of the details from her lover. It wasn't in his nature to talk at length about anything but this was different. It was clear that the memories were still too raw and something else… He blamed himself. He felt that he let her down, that he had failed her. She tried every word she knew to try and convince him otherwise but it had no effect. She could only hope that time would allow him to forgive himself.

Takana was pulled out of her quiet reflections by strong arms that wrapped around her shoulders and tender lips that nuzzled into her hair. She pulled one of his hands up to do some nuzzling of her own. No words of greeting were needed. They stood there for many long moments just enjoying the nearness of the other. Takana let out a small sigh when she felt the ever more common twitch in her belly. She pulled the hand she'd been resting her cheek against down to where she'd just felt it happen a second time.

"Seems I'm not the only one who's happy you're here." She knew he felt the third little kick when she heard an odd little rumbling issue from his chest. She turned around in his arms and stretched up to kiss him and she heard that same rumble again. "What now?"

He cocked his head at her question. "Now," he started as he leaned down to pick her up, supporting her legs with one hand and her back with the other, "we do whatever you wish."

She rested her head on his should and allowed him to take her wherever he wanted. "And what do you wish?" Her small hand slid between the folds of his robe trying to find contact with the warm flesh beneath.

"My wish…" He considered for a moment as he carried his precious cargo. "My wish has already come true."

"Hmm. Mine too."


End file.
